Ramblings of Life

Today I tackled 3 miles and it felt pretty good.  I chose a rather hilly course to run just because I was getting tired of the normal route that I tend to run so I went for a different one.  I managed to stay within 2 minutes of my regular time but I ended up walking a lot more than I had hoped too.  I think on Saturday when I go for a run I’ll stick more towards my normal route with less hills just to make my life easier but I’ll be checking back in on this route to see how I am improving and what I can do to move forward with it.  I’m excited that I could do all of the hills and flats like I did but it wasn’t my favorite.  I know it will need to hurt sometimes but I also want to build up my strength before I tackle more hills.  If not only just to keep up my moral but to also help me to become a better runner.

So today i chickened out and ran on the treadmill.  It was snowing and I didn’t want to have to dodge snow piles while running but never again!  I hate the treadmill.  It took me way longer to run and the room was way to hot and I failed.  I quit after 1 mile and took a five minute break and then convinced myself to go back and finish.  After a hard and fast half mile I quit again.  I took time to move back the things that I had moved to set up my music and then thought to myself.  You have half a mile left to do, do you really want to give up with that little left?  With a little persuading I got back on the treadmill and finished the last half mile.  

Admittedly I failed on this run and it shouldn’t have been any problem.  I run 2 miles without a problem outside so I don’t know what happened today.  But I’m glad that I got back on the treadmill and finished.  I now though will be running outside no matter what.  I guess the only time I’ll give myself a break to run inside will be on days when it is hailing or sleeting but other than that I’m going outside to run no matter what.  

This summer has been one filled with rejection.  I have applied to nearly 25 schools with only 4 interviews.  Resulting in no jobs.  I guess I am lucky to have had 4 interviews but it sucks to be rejected so many times.  I wish I knew what was wrong with my application and/or interview to know why I was looked over.  I have been getting down about the rejection and failure to secure a job.  Today in church, we sang “One Thing Remains” and I was reminded that God’s love always remains.  No matter what job situation I am in, God still loves me.  He is pursuing me and covering me unconditionally with his love.  I may be failing while searching for a job but I have secured the love of God who ultimately has my best interest in mind all the time.  His plans are better for my life than my own by far.  I am soaking in his love and trusting the plan he has for me even though I don’t know what it is currently.

Let the morning bring me word of your unfailing love, for I have put my trust in you.  Show me the way I should go, for to you I lift up my soul.