Huge fan. I’d really love to be a twinky dumbass chav if at all possible. Need to loosen up a bit
So, lads. Who wants to go first? Yeah, I fucking know he’s never ‘done it’ before but the loser is literally asking for it. Jesus wept.
Fine, guess I’ll fuck you ‘den. Wot you gonna do, just stand there like a tospot? Take your clothes off. Geeezz. I think we found the ‘last turkey in da shop’. Well? Wot you waiting for, a letter of invitation? Bend over idiot. My cock won’t stay hard all fuck-in’-day.
Bloody hell, tight is one word for it. Stop shaking for gods sake. My fat dong is about to hammer your hole into an open cum socket, so stop moaning and take it like a man. Or as close to a man as you can possibly get while whining like a bitch dog.
There. Ughh. That’s nice. Stretch that arse mate. Yeah..fuck man….time for this plow to seed. Head down slut! I don’t wanna see you until I’m done with yeh.
Ah, wank. I forgot to mention. My ‘juice’ has certain qualities to it, like. Specifically, the ability to convert anyone I creampie into a dumb fucking chav. It’s real mint in’all. Happens instantly, with the blink of an eye. Your wide eyes, as the old you pops out of existence. *POP* Just like that. All ya need is a single dose of my potent chav juice. One sec, boring ol’ yous and the next, you a dimwit. Not to worry tho, we’ll getcha sorted with a new job. Lads, show him the before and after pics from my phone. See? Dey much better like that ay? Ye, the result is pretty much always identical, what can I say - I got’s a ‘type’. Huge ears, brutally short hair, shit eating grin. Dumb dipshits. Lush. Heh. You gonna look just like dat in a few minutes….mmm, make that one minute. Urrrhh. 30…secs.
Nah. Mmmff…Yous can’t pull away now mate. You ready to *pop*. I’m bout to literally fuk ‘the chav’ into ya. Accept your—fuck, your fate. Accept brainless chavdom.
Urhhhhh! Take it all! Suck it up! Go fuckin’ pop, chav! POP!
Phew. Lets see what we got’s here then. Hm, just like all the others. Mate, you be looking fit as fuuuck. Ahem, and just a bit dim. Ha. Ye, let me see that smirk boi. Lads, take an ‘after’ photo of his moronic expression. Fucking numbskull. Think I’ll get dis one nice and framed.
Wot u wanna do now, chav no…37? 38? I think.
Mackie D’s? Fuck, you read my mind! Maybe we can find you a job there too. Might be a bit complicated for your thick fucking skull tho. Eh, there’s always need for toilet cleaners!
