Did Jet just... die?

This was spectacular

John Mulaney is PERFECT for voicing cartoon characters! He did a great job in this.

this is EXACTLY what i saw thank you

our brains are… the ultimate computer. 5 billion or so cores. but unfortunately most of them are permanently dedicated to subroutines like “thinking about slurp”

underrated post

The fact that the Midwest just got cold enough to kill you in minutes of being outside because of an unprecedented polar vortex means that our planet is now starting to become uninhabitable due to climate change. We’re going to look back on this moment for a long time to come.

Not to mention climate change starts at the poles so for Midwest zone to be hit is pretty bad.

a couple days ago i had a dream where i was on a date w some girl and she said to me “idk why ppl believe 69 is the sexiest number when it’s rlly 64 bc that’s how many diamonds i can hold at once in minecraft” and i cant stop thinking about her

4/20 praise it

Some days I’d like to be murdered some days I’d like to bed god

I intended to type ‘be god’; let this be yet another demonstration of how much wiser and knowing my fingers are compared to my feeble mind

i aspire to be this petty someday

“you got room here? can i just move right through here, seeing as you are standing on the pedestrian crosswalk? thanks.”

I was just talking about this video an hour ago.

if someone asks you what big dick energy is send them this video