I wonder if you still think of the conversation we had on the car ride home from that lovely weekend with your friends. Because I thought about it for a long time and every time I tried to talk to you about it felt like it wasnât coming out right, but this time I felt a little more seen and a little more heard and a little more catered to. This is the man I know you to be. This is who I believe you are when youâre not distracted by everything else so far into the future.
I love you. A lot.
Too much.
Itâs most often I feel like a side thought, this past weekend showed me that I wasnât being a side character, I was holding you down. You thrived and whooped and hollered among your best friends, but you always came looking for me, amidst the chaos. Iâm not a side character; while youâre having fun, your hands are reached out feeling for me, even though your eyes were on the events before you. You want me to be here with you, youâre trying to share these moments with me but intimately. You donât care that Iâm not quite friends with your friends. You care about sharing your joy with me.
This is how I know our life is together and Iâm sorry itâs taken me so long to realize that you donât know how to be two people at once. Here and there.
One day Iâll teach you how do be both.
