yuzushi

*foil cracking, chewing noises*

Jason: -no, because B didn't take me in specifically because he wanted me to be Robin. that came after. pass me the sauce, Day. thanks.

Tim: i thought you met him when he was Batman though?

Jason: yeah i met him when he was Batman, but he didn't take me home because he wanted a new Robin, he took me in because i was homeless, i stole his tires, called him a fucktart to his face, and then kneecapped him with a tire-iron.

Dick, observationally: i'm pretty sure he took you in as some sort of version of self harm.

Tim: *snort*

Jason, muffled: mm- 'okes on him though, cause i turned out to be a complete introvert.

Dick: yeah i don't think he expected the violent street kid to love homework so much.

Damian: so how did the transition to being Robin happen? he allowed Grayson to join him to get closure after his parents' death, correct? what led him to allow you to take up the mantle?

*slurping through a straw*

Jason: well, i think his intentions were good when he first decided to take me in, because i asked if i'd be the next Robin and he told me i wasn't being adopted just so he could have a partner, and Robin was out of the question. i was just happy to live in a mansion, so i let it be.

Dick: you let it be? he told me you basically forced him to let you have the mask.

Jason: *laughs* well he would, wouldn't he? he's too embarrassed about how petty he was being.

Tim: what was petty about it?

Jason: *snort* ok, but Dick you can't be an ass about it- it was like a decade ago.

Dick, with anticipatory annoyance: why-? *pause* oh shut up.

Jason: um, *slight snicker* yeah, so, admittedly he did just give me the mantle to slightly piss you off a bit,

Dick, instantly: I FUCKING KNEW IT- OH MY GOD.

*smacking sound, harsh footsteps*

Damian: oh, now he's pacing.

Dick: ALL THESE FUCKIN' YEARS OF 'IT WASN'T PERSONAL, DICK, IT HAD NOTHING TO DO WITH UPSETTING YOU, DICK, IT WAS JASON THAT WANTED IT, DICK-'

Jason: *wheezing* ok- OK but in his defence, i did also want it a lot-!

Dick: YOU SAID YOU'D LET IT GO!

Jason: w- yeah, i did, and then i met you.

*silence*

Dick, abruptly quiet: i was not that bad.

Jason, indignant: YOU- YOU-

Tim, absently: it's like dinner and a show,

Damian: i know right?

Jason: -YOU MET ME FOR THE FIRST TIME, LOOKED ME UP AND DOWN LIKE I WAS ONE OF THE FUCKING PEDOPHILES ON TO CATCH A PREDATOR,

Dick: I WAS NOT- *breaks into a wheeze*

Jason: -PROCEEDED TO TELL BRUCE WITHOUT EVEN ACKNOWLEDGING ME, 'at least when you took me in the people of Gotham could understand it, i was adorable; what the fuck is this thing?'

Dick: *silent wheezing*

Tim: fuck off, were you actually that mean?

Dick: *gasping* i-

Jason: YES HE WAS. anybody in my position would have met that little prick and instantly decided to steal his old job, i refuse to take criticism on the matter!

Damian: and Father went along with that?

Jason: mm- not at first. but then he and B got into an argument where Dick stole Bruce's work laptop because 'he wasn't using it, so it was up for grabs' and i think B just wanted to get back at him by stealing something of his instead.

Dick: -completely unproportionate response, by the way.

Jason: no, but neither was seeing Bruce's calvin klein underwear modelling campaign and instantly creating the Discowing suit to 'show him what it felt like when your family member acts like an attention seeking whore', so you're both as bad as each other.

Tim: *aghast* IS THAT ACTUALLY WHY YOU DID THAT?!?

Dick: i- *breaks into wheezes again*

Damian: you know, considering everybody claims being Robin is so 'magical', the story of its origins and pathway through life sure is covered in a lot of spiteful bullshit.

UNTIL... One of Clockworks' notes show up, and Phantom pauses to read it, before surrendering to the JL, saying he'll follow them.

Now obviously, the JL are confused and suspicious, but eventually come to the (wrong) conclusion that Phantom is just a lackey or something, and that the person who wrote the note is the real mastermind manipulating this poor innocent super-powered teenager.

He knew he should have let Technus destroy all the digital news declaring him a public enemy. It must be why the absent heroes decided to come and take him down. If only the ghost wasn’t also trying to take over the school news site just when Sam was publishing her own article on plant-based meal alternatives, he would have.

“Son, I suggest you surrender yourself before we are obligated to escalate things,” Superman says.

Reader have no idea that they're dating the batboys for a quite some time already, although reader does hope for it, they just thought that the batboys being so nice to them, while the batboys waiting for reader to be ready to do couple stuff, they just thought reader is shy 😭

I been thinking this for a while now

Reader: what you mean we're dating?!?!

Batboys: we've been dating for a while now???

“I like you so much, and you don’t even know it.”

Sorry lowkey disappeared again.Im having my daughter next month,scared asf💔💔.My fanny is gonna be DESTROYED.also random does anyone else hate podfics.Like it will have the perfect plot and then say” podfic” like turn that shit off omg.

Batboys x Reader: clueless Reader

Bruce Wayne

The “exclusive relationship” was IMPLIED, apparently

•Bruce thought things were very clear.

• In his defense:

•you spend most nights at the manor

• he takes you to galas

•Alfred refers to you as “Mr. Wayne’s partner”

•Bruce literally kisses you goodbye before meetings

•So naturally he assumes:

yes, this is my significant other.

•Meanwhile you’re spiraling internally every day.

•Because Bruce Wayne is:

•holding your hand

•buying you things

•resting his forehead against yours when tired

•But he’s never technically said:

“Will you be my partner?”

•So your brain goes:

Maybe he’s just emotionally confusing.

•The realization happens because someone at a gala says:

“You and your boyfriend make a lovely couple.”

•You laugh awkwardly.

“Oh..we’re not-“

•Bruce looks over immediately.

“…Not what?”

•You stare at him.

“Dating?”

•Silence.

•Bruce blinks once.

“..We’ve been exclusive for eight months.”

“EIGHT??!”

•You almost choke on your drink.

•Bruce is now deeply confused.

*“You sleep in my bed.”

“AS A FRIEND.”

“I kissed you.”

“PEOPLE KISS CASUALLY SOMETIMES-“

•Bruce just stares at you like your operating system is corrupted.

• Then realization slowly dawns on him.

“…You genuinely didn’t know.”

• You hide your face immediately.

“I thought you were being nice because you liked me as a person.”

•Bruce physically has to sit down.

•Because somehow this is more stressful than fighting Bane.

⸻

Dick Grayson

Actually devastated you didn’t know

•Dick is the MOST affectionate naturally.

•So this misunderstanding gets BAD.

•This man:

• calls you baby

•kisses your forehead

•cuddles you constantly

• takes you on dates

•says “missed you”

•introduced you to the Titans

•And you STILL think:

He’s probably just emotionally open.

•Dick genuinely thinks you’re just shy about labels.

•One day he casually says:

“My girlfriend’s coming over later.”

•You:

“Oh? Who?”

• Dick laughs.

•Then stops laughing.

“…You.”

•You stare at him.

“Wait.”

•He stares back.

“WAIT.”

“You didn’t know we were dating?!”

“I THOUGHT YOU WERE JUST REALLY FRIENDLY.”

•Dick falls backwards onto the couch dramatically.

“I HELD YOUR FACE AND TOLD YOU I ADORED YOU.”

“YEAH BUT YOU’RE DICK GRAYSON. YOU SAY THINGS.”

•He’s losing his mind now.

“I TOOK YOU ON ROMANTIC ROOFTOP DINNERS.”

• “I THOUGHT YOU WERE TESTING LOCATIONS.”

•He actually laughs so hard he can’t breathe.

•Then immediately crawls across the couch to grab your face.

“Okay,” he says, still laughing,

“just so we’re SUPER clear now-”

•Kisses you directly on the mouth.

“Boyfriend. Dating. Romantic. In love with you.”

•You’re bright red.

•Dick thinks this is the funniest thing that’s ever happened to him.

⸻

Jason Todd

• Jason absolutely assumed you knew.

•Because from his perspective:

•you wear his hoodies

•you sleep at his place

•he threatens people for disrespecting you

•you’ve made out multiple times

•Clearly:

Relationship.

• But you’re an overthinker.

•So every time something romantic happens you internally go:

Don’t assume. Don’t ruin the vibe. Stay calm.

•The realization happens when Roy casually says:

“So how long have you two been together now?”

•You immediately answer:

“Oh we’re not together-“

•Jason:

“…What.”

•Roy:

“…WHAT.”

•You panic immediately.

“I MEAN-unless-“

•Jason is staring at you like his soul just left his body.

“Baby.”

“DON’T BABY ME RIGHT NOW.”

“I literally told a guy at a bar you were my girl.”

“I thought that was… metaphorical.”

•Jason actually puts his hands over his face.

“How are you alive.”

•Then he starts laughing.

HARD.

“Oh my god,” he says between laughs,

“you really thought I was just casually obsessed with you.”

•You hide in your hoodie immediately.

His hoodie.

•Jason notices. Smirks.

“You know normal friends don’t share apartments keys either, right?”

Silence.

“…oh my god.”

⸻

Tim Drake

•Tim honestly can’t blame you because he ALSO never formally asked.

• But he thought the relationship progression was obvious.

•You:

•have toothbrushes at each other’s places

• share passwords

• nap together

•hold hands constantly

•went to a wedding together

• Tim categorized this as:

Relationship Acquired.

•You categorized it as:

Extremely emotionally intimate friendship.

•The moment happens because Kon asks:

“Wait, did you never ask them out officially?”

•Tim pauses.

“..I thought I did.”

• You immediately look over.

“You WHAT.”

•Tim starts mentally replaying every interaction you’ve ever had.

“I said ‘you’re my favorite person.’”

“THAT ISN’T A CONFESSION.”

“I BOUGHT YOU FLOWERS.”

“AS A FRIEND???”

•Tim puts his head in his hands.

“This explains SO MUCH.”

“LIKE WHAT?”

“WHY YOU LOOKED PANICKED EVERY TIME I HELD YOUR HAND.”

•You whisper:

“I thought I was imagining things…”

• Tim looks up immediately.

“…Wait, you LIKE liked me?”

“YES???”

⸻

Damian Wayne

Actually offended you thought he behaved this way platonically

•Damian is NOT naturally affectionate.

•Which means from his perspective, this should have been EXTREMELY obvious.

• He:

•seeks you out voluntarily

•touches you first

•allows prolonged physical affection

•lets you hold Titus

• says “beloved”

•In Damian Language this is basically a marriage certificate.

•Meanwhile you:

He’s just… intense.

• The realization happens when you say:

“You’ll make someone really happy one day.”

•Damian stops walking.

• Slowly turns around.

“…Excuse me?”

“What?”“What do you mean ‘someone’?”

•You blink.

“Your future partner?”

•Damian stares at you in complete disbelief.

“Beloved. We are together.”

You laugh nervously.

“Wait, seriously?”

He looks genuinely disturbed now.

“You believed I was behaving this way PLATONICALLY?”

“YOU NEVER ASKED.”

“I ALLOWED YOU IN MY PERSONAL SPACE.”

“…that’s fair actually.”

•Damian pinches the bridge of his nose.

“I have called you ‘my love’ repeatedly.”

“I thought you were being poetic.”

Long silence.

Then:

“…Father was correct. You are catastrophically oblivious.”

But later that night?

•He’s noticeably clingier.

• Hand on your waist.

•Pulling you closer.

feeling called out today

Internally, I remembered how, as a teenager, I wrote and filled up an entire notebook with a zombie apocalypse story where I killed off most of my batchmates (and pretty much the entire world), made the dude everyone thought I had a crush on be the one to kill my infected self while my secret crush was the one who tried to stop it for extra drama, and ended it on a 'the entire world is overrun by zombies' ending while the final survivors were my closest friends and their crushes.