legally distinct hobbithole

oh god i just realized ive been posting on corporeal tumblr this whole time 🤦

y'all need to watch this this pride month

@/teaboot

This isn't even a joke it's just what we do

I think that if you had enough daughters AND played your cards right you could spring Mambo Number Five out at the EXACT right gathering and shatter your entire family's trust forever

The secret is to name them out of order with the lyrics so by the time anyone catches on it's too late

For me personally the ideal gathering would be my funeral

turns out oatmeal doesn’t suck if u fill it with enough savory shit that u can’t taste the oats

Wait. Like what??

turns out oatmeal doesn’t suck if u fill it with enough savory shit that u can’t taste the oats

Wait. Like what??

It’s always such a pleasure to read a short story that so clearly, cleverly, and magically creates a whole different universe. I would read a seven book series of this, from any perspective. Thank you @feynites for writing this and posting it on here! This really made my day something special.

Maybe the real reason all floating islands have pointy bottoms™ is because they’re actually hot air balloons

my hips don't lie but they will exaggerate details, misrepresent the facts, and on occasion deceive via omission of crucial information

i think people are starting to forget what the LA in LARP means

*nodding sagely* Los Angeles Role Play

okay gang lets find that son of a bitch markiplier

This is why scientists study everything.

Put this picture in your pocket, next time you get into an argument with someone about 'useless' scientific studies, ask them "Do you think that we should give funding to study the mating habits of endangered iguanas in the Sonoran desert, or should we be funding cures for alzheimer's and diabetes?" and then when they say "Of course we should be using that money to fund cures!" you can whip out this picture and say "trick question, it's the same thing"

My curse is that I'm down for basically anything in weird porn, but only in its most restrained form. A cock the size of a pool noodle? Not something I'd actively seek out, but I'm willing to entertain the potential eroticism of it. A cock the size of Pennsylvania? That's not porn to me anymore – it's gone all conceptual. What are the geopolitical implications.

#does it have sales tax #can you pump your own gas while in the presence of the pennsylvenis #does the owner of the pennsylvenis have like. government authority #or does someone else decide the zoning rights for them (via @tofu-bento-box)

Pennsylvenis is something that should be part of our daily usage.

For best effect you need to imagine the word spoken in the voice of Wilford Brimley.

@vocabulary-altering-posts