Another Bucky Blog

Gaslighting is not just lying or disagreeing or seeing events differently. 

This is my favorite definition of gaslighting: 

Gaslighting is a form of psychological abuse in which false information is presented with the intention of disorienting a victim and/or steering them on a certain course of action.

Today I saw a mom on social media complain that her teenage son was gaslighting her because he was promising to get up for school on time and then not following through! 

That’s how twisted the definition of gaslighting has become. Fortunately a lot of people replied and told that mom that her son’s behavior was just developmentally normal lying, but there were also quite a few people telling her that she was being “codependent” and sharing advice on how to set boundaries with her “gaslighting”, “manipulative” son.  😩

But I also felt like it was the beginning of the end. This is when people stop asking if you want kids or even if you're trying for kids - they start casually mentioning the mortal clock. No longer "it's ok, your 20s are for figuring shit out" to "jfc youre 30 now how do you not have this figured out?"

Nobody has explicitly told me those things but I feel them shouting at me.

But then I started thinking about people in their 40s, 50s, 60s. My parents are in their 60s and they're perfectly functional. I never figured I would survive my 60s. I've always assumed that's when I'd die. 🤷

But even 60 is *thirty* years away. That's a whole nother life time. And I don't even remember the majority of this lifetime so it's even longer than it feels.

I think of how I feel looking at a 20yo and imagine how someone in their 40s or 50s might look at me.

Literally pretty much any other Avenger would be a better role model and mentor to Peter Parker than To nky St a rk

Steve: Genuinely nice guy who Peter would be rolling his eyes at bc he saw him in all those school PSAs

Thor: I don’t think I need to explain this one at all, y’all have seen Ragnarok

Natasha: That whole AoU bullshit with her thinking she’s a monster for being infertile could be resolved if she was Badass Spy Mom to literal child Peter Parker

Clint: He’s an actual father AND he’s already proven himself by how he encouraged and supported Wanda in AoU

Here is a hotter take so hot it just got off the stove ouch its gonna burn me.

Ok buddy chum pal;

Steve: at the time of homecoming an civil war im not destroying the claim that hes a nice dude and shit, but think about this; he hecking was going against the law, im no anti but still.

Thor: he wasnt on earth for like, the whole time peter was doing superhero stuff

Natasha: ok so i phucking love spidermom. But the thing is she prolly has some kid ptsd bc redroom?? (I dunno how ptsd works entirely but maybe??) Also she sided w/ cap at some point so is she also an against the law pal?

Clint: In hiding and like was retired for a huge chunk of spider man.

Bruce: yeah so he isnt rich boy dickhead thing but yeah he got a shit ton of stuff.

However, Tony literally kidnapped him, belittled him, and used an emotional abuse tactic on him in homcoming. And the Only reason he was able to do this is because he, as an adult and as a *billionaire* has power over peter. Not to mention he straight up fucking lied about what was happening in civil war he basically told him cap was being the bad guy(he wasn’t) and they had to stop him(they really didn’t) but he never told him that cap was bucking the system because heros were going to have to sign a paper revealing their secret identity to the public. Peter would never go for that under any cicumstances because he is one of the most determined to keep it secret.

During that whole “”“recruitment”“” scene Tony told a literal child he could help him fight experienced ADULT combatants or he was going to out him to his guardian. And then lied to said guardian about where they were going and what they were doing. Then after peter got hurt and Tony said he was sending him home he was begging to stay and help because he was worried that he might still be outted. The fear is pretty apparent in his voice.

As for emotional abuse, you remember that scene in homecoming? The one where peter tried to apologize for doing something he absolutely should not have done. The one where Tony tells him he’s the only person that believes in him and that Peter let Tony down because he made Tony look bad? Putting as much pressure as this high schooler as he possibly can? I don’t know if you remember high school but I do. Everyone piles pressure on top of you because it’s your grades and the rest of your life is defined by your high school years and then your parents expect great grades. Peter has all that PLUS being a super hero and trying not to get caught doing what he does. That pressure and stress is magnified by 100. Now he has a billionaire on his ass because he tried to do the right thing and he fucked up. But this isn’t a learning and growing moment. This is about making Tony look bad. Tony puts his ego before this literal child and his physical and emotional well being.

And let’s take a good long look at this gem of a quote “if you’re nothing without that suit then you shouldn’t have it.” Look. Who’s. Fucking. Talking. Tony is also nothing without his suit. Sure, he’s smart. But all his power comes from money earned by selling weapons of mass destruction and that fucking suit. You take him out of that suit I could beat his ass. He has no room to talk.

“Sorry doesn’t cut it” “I wanted you to be better” sounds an awful lot like the person that abused me for the last 18 years of my life. You try as hard as you can. You do your best. But that just isn’t enough.

“What if you died. I don’t need that on my conscience” peak Tony. Narcissism over 9000. He dragged him into this. Before, peter was just stopping car wrecks. Fighting back alley thugs. Now tony has opened him up to so much worse than than and now that he’s realizing he could die doing it Tony wants him to be a good little boy and stay out of it when his conscience tells him he can’t!

And to close this off. You saying nat doesn’t work as a mentor because she must have PTSD doesn’t hold water at all. Because guess who else has PTSD? Tony. He suffers chronically from PTSD and anxiety. But that doesn’t excuse anything he does. No mental illness or trauma can excuse anyone’s shitty actions. And to make it worse Tony doesn’t seek therapy for it like he should he just finds ways to excuse it. For example: blaming shit on peter, blaming shit on steve, blaming shit on literally anyone else but the real culprit: himself.

insulin has been mass produced (from animal extracts) since -1923-. slow acting insulin has existed since the ‘50s, and ‘human’ genetically engineered insulin (derived from E. coli bacteria) has existed since 1982.

insulin treatment for diabetes is not some new or ‘unproven’ treatment. according to beyondtype1, “Humalog rapid-acting insulin came on to the market with a list price of $21 a vial in 1997.” adjusting for inflation, a vial these days should cost about $34 at most. instead, it costs over $300. there is NO reason for it to be steadily gaining in price to the point that diabetics are unable to afford their lifesaving medication, other than the sheer inhuman greed of pharmaceutical manufacturers.

“ We’re a team of biohackers with a variety of backgrounds, and skills, and relationships to insulin and diabetes from many cities and countries around the world, including Oakland, California; Baltimore, Maryland; Paraiba, Brazil; Dakar, Senegal; Yaounde, Cameroon; and Puerto Rico. We’re working to develop the first practical, small-scale, community-centered model for insulin production to make insulin accessible to all. We envision a world in which communities in need have local sources of safe, affordable, high-quality insulin, and where people living with diabetes and their communities can own and govern the organizations that produce the medicine they depend on to survive. 

What We Do

We are creating an open-source (freely available) model for insulin production that centers on sustainable, small-scale manufacturing and open-source alternatives to production. We are developing protocols to produce short-acting (lispro) and long-acting (glargine) insulin, working on developing open-hardware equivalents to traditional production equipment, are researching sustainable regulation pathways to bring our insulin to the public, and are building capacities for local, small-scale manufacturing.

How Do I Participate?

Our work would not be possible without the support of volunteers, interns, and community advisors. We welcome people of all backgrounds from all over the world to bring their enthusiasm, time, connections, and experiences, both in life and in work. Our volunteers promote us on social media, build equipment, run experiments, write reports and blog posts, facilitate meetings, connect with other organizations and groups, meet with experts in the field, run virtual events, and contribute in designing tools, resources, and methods of all sorts.

Potential Partners

We welcome collaboration with other groups that share our mission―community labs, academic institutions, patient advocacy groups, and NGOs.

Donate

Your donation will help us get closer to our goal. With a healthy financial situation, we can pay for lab supplies, acquire lab equipment, recruit scientists, and pay for consultation fees for regulation and manufacturing experts.”

A tiny northern girl tries to play with a puppy. A small bells is sewn on the girl’s clothes so that parents can hear where the child is. 

"That's it, you're doing it right, darling, don't worry."

Any guidance through even the simplest of tasks.

"I'm here, I'm not going anywhere."

Feeling weight, like a hand resting on a shoulder or thigh.

Making eye contact and getting a smile and nod back that says, you're doing great, keep going.

Being hushed or swayed while receiving back rubs.

1) if I'm really not alone then why am I actually literally alone? There's a lot of answers to that.

2) If the despairingly excruciating pain I'm feeling is not unique and is felt by so many over time, then what hope do I have? If this is a part of life then I want no part in it. And if this is so common then I really am making a big deal out of nothing because everybody else seems to function so why can't I?

The activists, disabled or sick in a variety of ways, occupied multiple federal buildings across the the USA. The occupation of 50 United Nations Plaza Federal Office Building in San Francisco lasted 26 days, the longest of the protests, and I believe the longest occupation of a federal building in the USA's history.

The protest was spear-headed and led mostly by disabled women, many of them queer disabled women.

The length of the occupation was only made possible by the support of the Black Panthers, who brought food to the activists daily and stood their ground against the FBI when the feds tried to stop them from entering the plaza in an attempt to starve the protesters out. The Black Panthers then proceeded to bring hot meals every day for the rest of the protest, which ended with the enactment of the 504 regulation

Moral of the story: mass movements and protests work better when you have solidarity among various movements who, while initially fighting for different people, are all fighting for a common goal--rights, safety, empowerment, etc--and the Black Panther Party was demonized by the federal government and individual authorities not only because they were they fighting for the rights, safety, and empowerment of Black people, but because they were fully capable of and did bring unity among the many civil rights groups fighting for the individual causes, in a way that would have enacted great change in this country had they not been infiltrated and destroyed from within, arrested on bs charges, or flat out murdered by the federal government.

Some heart wrenching examples: insurance, especially medicaid, only cover a certain number of devices in a given amount of time and it is not nearly enough. Especially prosthetics and wheelchairs. When you consider amputees can go through prosthetics so quickly when they're trying to find a good fit, or that children grow and regularly need new prosthetics, or that people need a variety of prosthetics like other people need a variety of shoes, you can see the amount their allowed to have isn't nearly enough.

Or that people on disability are not allowed to have more than $2000 in their account at any given moment or they will lose the meager about of assistance the government deigns to grace them with. And that $2000 is in no way enough to pay for university, pay for a new prosthetic or - hey - just save up so they can be more than $2000 away from empty. And my favorite part is that there's special accounts for this situation that do allow people to have money like everyone else and *nobody knows about them*.

tagged by @redatheart and @thegreenmetblue :) ty!

steve rogers, who didn’t want to kill nazis, just hated bullies, said he would kill every single one of hydra when bucky fell off the train

steve rogers, even when he had nothing he had bucky

steve rogers, dropped his shield and didn’t fight back because he was with bucky til the end of the line

steve rogers, fought against countries and the king of wakanda to protect bucky

steve rogers, literally dropped every brain cell upon the mention of “bucky”

steve rogers, didn’t care about being labeled a criminal as long as he’s with bucky

steve rogers, heard bucky’s last word was his name right before he dusted in front of him

steve rogers, fought against his younger self with equal or even more strength than him and used the only trigger words he knew would make him stop and drop everything “bucky is alive”

steve rogers, got bucky back after half a decade, left him, and went back in time to marry peggy knowing full well that in those exact years, bucky is out there being used and tortured by hydra