Starving Artist

Queer is the label which became genderqueer, and from which non-binary and genderfluid sprung. Queer is the label which is the un-box, in which everyone who is not cishet (including ace people!!) fits. Queer is community.

Queer is activist. Queer is in the streets screaming ‘we’re here, we’re queer, get used to it!’ Queer is not ashamed.

Queer was ours from the beginning. Queer was ours a century ago. Queer was used against us, and we said ‘fuck you,’ and we took it BACK. Queer is butches and bears with bats, protecting our community.

Queer is blue-collar. Queer is working-class. Queer is poor. Queer is people who can’t afford to sit out Stonewall quietly and then go fight for marriage equality when the tax bills come due. Queer is a distinct identity, and queer is the un-box.

Queer makes TERFs and exclusionists angry, because it doesn’t let them define people by gold stars and terms like ‘SGA’ that come from conversion therapy. Queer doesn’t give a shit about historical revision to exclude members of the community who have always been here, because queer has always been here and always will be.

Queer is the life raft onto which we climb. Queer is community. Queer is important, and people will have to pry it from my cold dead hands. I’ve been queer for thirty years. My community is queer, and it is opt-in.

growing up my girl friends and i would shower together and cuddle and hold hands and do each other’s makeup and link arms when we walked down the street and share food.

and some women are on different levels of comfort and intimacy with each other, like maybe no shower-sharing or hand-holding etc. But on one level or another, we are raised to be physically affectionate and it’s normal.

and once we realize we’re not straight, suddenly people around us are scrutinizing us. anything we do with out friends must be because we’re attracted to them. so we start becoming afraid to interact platonically with women at all.

even if our friends reassure us they trust us and don’t feel that way, we hear other people saying shit like “what? you shower with her at the gym? you let her sleepover in your bed???”

“that’s like doing that with a guy, isn’t it?”

and we know that every single second of our time spent with straight women is spent being studied through a microscope by other heteros who see as as predators. It’s heartbreaking.

And if we don’t have great friends, because hey, when you’re younger sometimes your friends aren’t always great, we end up with no reassurance and we start worrying maybe we ARE crossing boundaries when we tell a best friend “you look hot in that dress” when we just meant it as a normal compliment, so we isolate ourselves from female friendships.

it’s sort of like a joke I hear a lot, “why do so many gay/bi/etc. girls have all guy friends?”

2001

2010

2016

2017