Jack of Briars

Like, I'm not talking "I went on a date and we had a very nice time that ended in sex and this has changed my orientation" or "I made out for like an hour with someone at a party and now I can't stop thinking about them, I think my sexual identity has changed". I'm talking "I was doing naughty things in a group setting, and one of those touches came from a [gender] person, does that make me [gay/straight/whatever]?"

Are you sexually attracted to dildos after one gets you off? No? Okay, well, maybe allowing a same-gender person to get you off doesn't make you gay; it just makes you not homophobic enough to get in the way of your own pleasure. (Same goes for "Am I straight now?" ppl)

Let shit feel good. It doesn't have to be that deep.

If athletes are allowed to compete, they should also be allowed to win.

Every single time I see a story where a trans athlete "blows out" the competition, their performance usually ends up not being quite as dominent as claimed.

When you look at the fastest 400m times in high school competition, it greatly adjusts the context.

In running, a second can be an eternity. Most world records are only a few tenths of a second apart. And this trans athlete is a full 7 seconds away from a record set by a cisgender high school runner.

According to the New York Post, 7 seconds is a blowout.

College runners are getting times under 50 seconds. And the world record is 47.60—a full 10 seconds faster.

This trans athlete can't help it if she is in a league with a bunch of slowpokes. She won a race. She is pretty fast in relation to her direct competition. But she is not some spectacular speed demon who will dominate women's running.

Her time wasn't even at scholarship level.

The vast majority of the world's top sprinters are of West African descent. Just to give you an idea of the statistics, every world record holder in the men's 100m dash since 1968 has been Black.

So they are basically cherry picking ideal circumstances to make a trans athlete look overpowered—as Portland only has a 5% Black population.

If this race happened in Atlanta instead of Portland, the trans runner probably would have won 10th place and this wouldn't be a news story.

While it is true that Redmond Sullivan has had two first place finishes in tournaments since transitioning, if you look at her record, you might notice this isn't as dominant as claimed.

First I have to explain fencing ratings.

You have individual ratings A through E. The As are top fencers and Es (or unrated) fencers are the worst. The number after the rating is the year.

So a rating of A25 means you are a top level fencer in 2025.

Then you have event classes. They are also A through E but have an additional 1 through 4 difficulty variant.

The easiest tournament is E1.

It has 6 competitors and none of them have to be rated. So you are competing against poorly ranked people and have a much higher statistical chance of winning.

This is like playing basketball with all of your nerdiest friends and "accidentally" forgetting to invite Steve who is 6'4".

The hardest tournaments are A4.

This requires at least 64 competitors and must have at least 12 A-rated, 12 B-rated, and 12 C-rated fencers.

This is like being a 40 year old playing Halo against a hundred 12-year-olds all saying rude things about your mom while repeatedly headshotting you with ease.

You can view all of the event classes here.

If you look at Redmond's two first place finishes, they were in E1 and D1 competitions. (A D1 requires 15 people with four of them E-rated.)

She had a decent statistical chance of winning because the competitors were few and poorly rated.

If you look at her only A4 tournament, she placed 172nd.

I'm not sure I would call someone who placed 172nd particularly dominant.

She currently has a "D" rating overall.

When fencing in men's competitions, she was rated E. And she slightly improved to a D in women's competitions—though this is only with 3 months of data. She ended 2024 with an E rating in women's events. So maybe she improved to a D and a half.

No offense to Redmond, but she is not anywhere close to a top level fencer no matter which league she competes in.

Stephanie Turner, the kneeling transphobe, currently has an E rating and has never finished a year better than a D. By all accounts, she is evenly matched against Redmond and had a legit chance at winning the match. But it was an A2 tournament and she really had no chance of placing highly so I guess she figured this was a good opportunity to be a dipshit.

She is a coward who only took a stand when the stakes were lowest.

I'd also like to point out that Colin Rugg was quick to mention Redmond's first place finishes, but failed to mention that in the very tournament with this kneeling protest, she got 24th place.

It really seems like these trans athletes aren't trying to become dominant athletes by transitioning and they are just competing because they love it.

sex is a social action, doing it means you are taking the needs, desires, and wellbeing of the person you're fucking into account. it takes a certain amount of mental energy and a certain mood to do that? pulling up xhamster and cranking it is like, using similar body parts, but its a completely different task.

Here is also a guide to safe sex toys and how to choose them: https://beingthelittlespoon.com/2021/04/08/dildos-and-dil-donts-a-guide-to-body-safe-sex-toys/.

Be safe and have fun safely (and actively consensually, if there's a partner), not just this holiday season but always!

Leaving air in the tip will cause it to expand (and maybe break) when ejaculation happens. Also, air in the condom makes it more likely for the ejaculation to push the air down the condom and make it slip off.

Share to save someone from a condom breakage!

“I’ll pay you $ every week for feet/genital/fetish pics” they start a long conversation about this. Then they convince you to send some sample pics. They will try to get you to enact their fetishes with promise of later payment. Then they cut and run. They will be kind, promise large things, but become aggressive when you refuse. Lesson: never give things for free unless you’re specifically doing it for marketing. Personalized fetish content should require payment upfront.

“I want to be your sugar mommy/daddy” These are insanely common and will use a variety of tactics. They prey on vulnerable broke people who are desperate for stable cash. They may try to use a BDSM dynamic to make you feel sexy and submissive. They’ll start a long flirty conversation that makes you feel good and desired and confident. Then they might send a link…. Don’t click it! Or they might ask you to “prove your loyalty” as their sub/babygirl/whatever. Proving your loyalty will probably involve sending them money in some way. The most common way is to buy a gift card and tell them the code. If a stranger ever asks you to buy them a gift card that’s pretty much always an instant block.

The same thing goes for “pay pigs”. There are very few people out there actually into financial domination. Chances are people promising you access to their bank accounts are liars trying to get dommed by a stranger, or scammers trying to get money from you.

There’s essentially two main categories of scams in sex work: 1. Traditional scams (trying to get money, personal info, account access) and 2. Freebie scams (trying to get your SW content for free)

Freebie scams can involve someone trying to piss you off so you curse them out and they can go jerk it to being rejected by someone hot. You can just block people being weird.

I’m not sure if there’s a similar condition for penises where atrophy pain is constant (as opposed to just with erections), but if you’re feeling unexplained pain in the genital region after starting/being on HRT (or birth control, or anything that affects hormone levels) its possible that you’re experiencing atrophy. It causes shrinkage in any genitalia, so that’s usually one of the more observable ways it occurs.

Disabled people are allowed to feel sexy and people are allowed to find them sexy. People with deformities and physical differences are allowed to feel sexy and people are allowed to be attracted to them.

The problem comes from lack of consent and dehumanization. Expecting all disabled people to fit your sexual fantasy and sexualizing them openly without their consent (i.e. posting/reblogging normal pictures of a disabled person on your fetish blog or sexually harassing a disabled stranger) is fetishization and horrible. Asking us how we have sex or taking secret photos of us to jack off to later is creepy and crossing the boundry into dehumanizing fetishization. Seeing us and our sexuality as an oddity or a funny joke is not okay.

Reminder, sex toys were first and foremost created by and for disabled people. We have always been having sex and have always been seen as attractive by our admirers, without them fetishizing us. Having sex with a consenting disabled person isnt rape, and yes it is possible for us to eagerly consent! While some disabilities make it hard to consent, that isn't true for all of us.

so let's break this down logically:

it only takes a handful of live sperm to impregnate someone. using round numbers for the sake of simplicity, let's say the average ejaculation has 100,000,000 live sperm (according to webMD the actual range is 200-300 million) and let's also pretend spiro reduces your fertility by 99%, which is like.... completely ridiculous, best case scenario for hormonal birth control taken extremely consistently.

1% of 100,000,000 is 100,000. so you'd still have 100,000 live sperm per ejaculation. so you'd still be fertile.

let's break this down sociologically:

if spiro worked as easily reversible birth control it'd be free in those mint bowls at good restaurants

long story short:

Designing a new sticker/flyer/thingy.I’m not sure about the text on the second version.

I want to get the point across that trans people are being presented by the liberal assimilationist transgender movement in a way that’s as desexualized as possible and as far removed as possible from the sex workers that make up a significant portion of trans people. This is meant to make trans people easier to accept and assimilate by mainstream culture but it directly hurts trans people.

Trans people’s sexual lives are not talked about in an honest open way and as a result the only narratives about trans sex lives that are hugely transphobic and fetishistic ones. Consequently many trans people’s sexual lives and feelings about their body as a sexual body are wrapped in silence, shame and doubt, full of questions like “am I still real if this turns me on? will people still believe that I am real?”.

This disconnects trans people from their desires, needs and boundaries and directly contributes to many trans people’s inability to assert desires, needs and boundaries which directly contributes to the already staggering rates of sexual violence against trans people. Oh and by the way, the desexualization of trans people also contributes directly to the lack of conversations about the staggering rates of sexual violence against trans people.

For asexual trans people being desexualized by society can mean not being able to identify and name their asexuality because the narrative that trans people should not have or express a sexuality anyway is so present.

And last but defenitely not least this creates a trans movement that does not feel connected to trans sex workers and does not feel a need to include them in their activism in a meaningful way beyond ‘silent victim at TDOR to be mourned but never allowed to speak’.

hi anon,

thank you dildo-smith Matt for chiming in, and while we're at it let's actually just go through the whole tl;dr pros/cons of the different families of lube!

water-based:

pros: easy to wash off/clean up, safe for use with any toy material.

cons: dries up quick and needs to be replenished often during sex.

silicone-based:

pros: long last. extremely long lasting.

cons: can be a pain in the ass to clean up, and not good for silicone toys as noted above.

oil-based:

pros: long-lasting, and often the best choice for folks with allergies/sensitive skin triggered by other lubricants.

Get it from

@sage-derby Yes!!!

Here’s a rundown of their general policy, from literally the first article I clicked on just now:

As you might be getting from that, they’re pretty intersex inclusive, too. Here’s a sample of something that’s a little more directly about sex-specific stuff in case you’re thinking “well but they said that was just about pleasure tho”:

They have a lot of sections on their site, but number two is Gender:

“That’s probably just like hetero gender dynamics stuff tho...” Nay nay! Here’s a few of the articles from the first page of their “Gender” section:

You need to slow down. It's not like a book where you just leap in and do kinky shit. That's not safe. It starts with communication first and foremost, setting boundaries and expectations.

If a sub says " I have no limits" that's a huge red flag 🚩

If a dom doesn't try and communicate limits, past experiences, and safewords or doesnt perform aftercare, that's a huge red flag 🚩