Incredibly proud of my average penis

Most of those iPad babies you're seeing are probably sick of that fucking tablet too.

Everyone loves to make fun of & complain about iPad kids but nobody thinks about the struggle of navigating life as an adult when you were forced to spend your entire childhood keeping yourself distracted so your parents didn't have to acknowledge your existence.

So I want to be an elementary school teacher, I’m getting my master’s now in elementary education, but I’ve also nannied and children are so interesting to be around. They ask questions and then if you don’t know the answer you just look it up and now you’ve learned something too. The first little boy I nannied for had so many questions and I learned so much because of him. I learned about what kind of cars each symbol means, I learned that cucumbers are fruits, and I learned about spiders. The point is that children are interesting because they are seeing the world for the first time and you should want to interact with them when you are a parent.

People always assumed I would have children of my own because little kids of family friends always loved me so much when I was a teen, they'd talk about me to their parents & ask over and over again when they could see me next. I definitely didn't know anything about childcare at that age. All I did was listen to them & show interest in whatever they wanted to show or tell me about. That was literally it.

Yeah. It's child abuse. Don't blame the kids.

#i think another thing that happened is the 24-hour news cycle#which made parents too scared to let their kids go outside and be well... kids#so they instead plop a tablet in front of their kids thinking it will be “safer” than the nearby playground#when in reality they're getting exposed to something far more addictive and damaging via @sick-sad-little-world

people saying "write what you want to see in the world!" and that's always a good sentiment but this post isn't really about "oh no there's no content for my ship", more the feeling of "i looked up something that i thought was so obvious that surely plenty of more seasoned ao3 perverts would have thought of it already, but apparently i'm the weird one"

Just remember: once upon a time there was no such thing as the Omegaverse and now there are whole professionally produced TV shows in that genre. Just because nobody's written about it doesn't mean you're weird in a bad way. Perhaps you're not just a pervert, you're an innovative pervert. Be proud.

Gets stuck in the past and makes a random village get way smarter and less violent in a generational sense because I keep smacking people over the head with a stick and telling them that it’s the devil’s metal whenever they try to use lead for something in my presence and there develops a very niche regionalized superstition that an angry warlock will jump out of a tree and beat the shit out of you if you touch lead with your bare hands

Gets excommunicated by the Catholic Church for telling people that they can banish the devil from their water if they boil it therefore saving hundreds of people from a cholera outbreak but I don’t care and keep trying to convince the locals to use soap more often

You’re not at all worried about being labeled a witch and burned at the stake?

Witch burnings were very specifically a mid 1500s to mid 1600s phenomenon and I went back further than that so I’m fine as long as I don’t try to convince people that the earth revolves around the sun.

You’ve thought this out thoroughly and I appreciate that

resteraunts will call themselves gastropubs and eateries so they don’t have to spell restarunt

anyone wearing the camera glasses should be forced to eat them

Y'ALL I FOUND A GOOD PLANT WEBSITE

Oh my god how have I not found this before. It lets you toggle between photos of the flowers, leaves, fruits and seeds. It shows a map of where the plant is native. It gives you links to like 12 websites with more info about the plant. Amazing

I've only tried to look in the USA so it may not have other areas but this is one of the best resources I've found

(there are a LOT of photographers, biologists and botanists who have contributed to it)

i think people get so used to their own creative work that they forget how amazing it is so i’m making this post as a reminder You are the only person capable of making art the exact way you make it. nobody else on earth can do that. there are always going to be those little habits and intricacies and details that simply cannot be replicated whether it’s in writing or painting or textiles and you make life all the better for it i love my friends’ art i love art from strangers im trying to love my own art I LOVE YOU!!! THE PERSON READING THIS!!!!!!! YOU ARE A PART OF THIS WORLD NEVER EVER STOP MAKING THINGS THAT CAN IMPACT IT

It’s so funny how like. Spock is queer bc of the subtext, the Otherness inextricable from his character, meanwhile William Shatner was handed the straightest man of all time on paper and fumbled the bag bc he couldn’t stop giving Leonard Nimoy fuck-me eyes and now he lives in a bi Kirk hell of his own devising, forever enduring the conshatquences of his shactions

In 20 years I'll be having my local politics career destroyed by tumblr posts rather than twitter posts

Because oh boy, I've said some unpopular things on here about Veterans

So get ready for that drama when I run for Mayor of Chicago