Incredibly proud of my average penis

Getting down on my knees and thanking the humans who invented dishwashers and washing machines.

InsNe that dishwashers are more efficient and easier than just washing them manually but they also use less water. It’s a win win situation

They ALSO sterilize dishes, due to operating at a far higher temperature than human hands could ever tolerate. It's a win every way.

also part of growing up is realizing that the embarrassing music you liked in your early teen years still goes hard as hell

8/10 but fuck, OW.

8/10 also!

Imao Eva Stratt did nothing wrong. There was no other option than Ryland Grace

did you know that you can increase the quality of your quesadilla by adding seasoning

did you know that you can decrease the quality of your quesadilla by making a tumblr post while it's cooking and burning it

thinking about the intimacy of Stratt taking care of Grace every way she can from the moment they meet...like it starts with leaving him the three astrophage because he has a pathological need to be helpful, and then giving him the same level of clearance as herself - you know, the woman in charge of the entire fucking planet -so he can be as comfortable as he can/know as much as he wants, to sending a bunch of video games with the crew, giving Grace three hours they don't have to change his mind about going, taking even more time they can't spare to program the ship to know how he takes his coffee and getting the mission patch changed to have his name on it..... they're driving me out of my mind with their secret third thing

As a disabled kid, I noticed and came to loathe the cultural belief that kids are "lazy" and "trying to get out of things" in general. Treating kids with suspicion and distrust only makes them less trustworthy.

happy 3 year anniversary of wheeze man

Finally, the original has crossed my dash.

@strangezeroz welcome to tumblr where the app decides when you can be gifted with the sight of og memes, you cannot look for these yourself via the search engine, you won’t find them, you have to wait to be gifted them

For those of you who might be new here, Tumblr has no algorithm, legendary memes are brought to your dash by mutuals like pet cats bringing you dead birds.

The most sinister part is that if they hadn’t included a picture (yk, like how Amber Alerts don’t?) nobody would be able to find him off that description. Fuck transphobes.

every 14-16 year old is the bravest person on the planet to me

talking to a 15 year old like wow okay you are like if scrambled eggs was a person. I don't know how to save you. the way you move through the world is reminiscent of a stray cat whose soul got punted into a human body. said human body is currently undergoing changes and floods of hormones that would result in cities being levelled if you were perhaps a big dragon and not a medium sized primate. been there. good luck I love you

you don't have to excuse the behaviours of shitty teenagers, but you DO have to remember that they've been on this earth only as long as your cat. you have to ensure that the way you respond to said behaviour reflects this. yes they're an entire person. they're also going through a period of the most insane rapid transformation (physically, mentally, emotionally and socially) a person can experience in life. are they an irredeemable monster or are they just a very impressionable young person floundering through their first Strong Opinions based on what they've seen online, with ridiculous amounts of Hormone That Makes You Hate Everything in their bloodstream?

YOUNG TEENAGERS. are YOU an irredeemable monster or are YOU just a very impressionable young person floundering through your first Strong Opinions based on what you've seen online, with ridiculous amounts of Hormone That Makes You Hate Everything in your bloodstream? I'll give you a hint. it's the second option. cut yourself some slack too! try your very best to be kind, try your very best to consider people with differing experiences to you, and maybe take a step back from discourse that does nothing besides make you upset. you've only been an animal alive on this planet for a decade and a bit. there are artisanal cheddars at your local supermarket older than you. take it easy. eat more fruit. save up for a second hand bicycle. join a local club. it's impossibly difficult to be a teenager but you have it in you, whether you're aware of it or not. I hope you can be kind to yourself, because you DO deserve that kindness. kia kaha [: