The idea that itâs easy to recognize people with personality disorders by their demeanor is a myth. At my job, I always have a huge smile on my face. I wave to and greet everyone I see, Iâm always ten minutes early. I never have an unkind word or even a look for even the most intolerable customer, and I get frequent vouchers and awards for my exemplary customer service. My highest ratings during evaluation periods are always regarding how personable and friendly I am, how I have a great attitude, how Iâm patient with customers and helpful to associates. Iâm even photographed and sent out on company emails as an example of going the extra mile as an associate for various tasks I do.
And yet, I fucking LOATHE every single person who enters that building. Not a day goes by where I donât visualize the murder and torture of just about every customer I walk past. Every âthatâs no problem at all maâam!â Is followed up in my head with a âyou stupid worthless cunt.â I steal, I lie, I make up entire fake stories about my family and friends just to seem more normal to my fellow associates. The weirdest thing? Not a single one of them has any idea. None of them know I steal the knives from the washroom and dig into my skin when they piss me off. None of them have a single clue of the vile things I think about them, that I scream in rage once the cooler door shuts. Iâm constantly thanked for my âgreat attitudeâ and told how much Iâm appreciated. I just keep on smiling, and they keep on believing Iâm not dripping in vitriol.
Itâs bullshit that people can âpick upâ on personality disorders just by looking at someone. Iâm living proof.




















