actually speaking your target language:

Dog:?????????????????????????????????????????????

Me: YOU’RE A GOOD BOY!

bart’s hot cocoa marshmallow

is it still technically a drink? who cares! grampa wanted a slice and i do too 10/10 skittlebrau

i’m still waiting for some artisanal craft beer company to crowdfund the actualisation of skittlebrau 9/10 malk

brittle bones are a small price to pay for all that vitamin r 7/10 the all-syrup super squishee

this drink comes with consequences. are you prepared for what that might mean? 5/10 shelbyville turnip juice

turnip juice is a real thing apparently? who looked at a turnip and wanted to drink it? 3/10 homer’s morning glass of syrup

my teeth are crying 0/10 marge’s homemade pepsi

an undefinable and unknowable entity ?/10 lays liquid potato chips

i’ve got questions and they’re all about how i can forget i ever had to think about this 0/10 worcestershire flavoured soft drink

carbonated worcestershire is truly a cursed concept 0/10 a single plum, floating in perfume, served in a man’s hat

tomacco juice

tomacco was the produce made by homer, when mixing tobacco and tomatoes after putting a plutonium rod in the ground near tobacco and tomato plants. considering tomacco was highly addictive, repulsive + possibly deadly 0/10

flaming homer/flaming moe

the secret ingredient in the flaming homer and flaming moe is krusty’s non-narkotik kough syrup for kids, probably more addictive than tomacco but everyone seemed to love it so 9/10

ned flander’s hot cocoa from the simpsons movie