uh i had an INFLUX of followers after posting the DC snip with a neglected reader and i have to say, this place is:
Pro-Palestine, and if you don't like it, feel free to leave;
Contains mild dead dove content bc of my ships (see: GoYuu, GeIta, EdoGuda which has age gaps, not to mention power imbalance and height differences, three of my beloved trios lol)
Subscribes to Freedom in Fiction: you don't like that content? scroll along, fam. you have fingers. use them. The law is a blugeon that will sweep anything, from loli art to content of your otp (no matter how much you insist is a pure ship) as "degenerate content," and what's worse is that term was and still IS used by Nazis to describe evocative art and LGBTQ+ communities. (Think on that for a while. On the fact that present-day wordplay in current fandom is eerily similar to what genocidal maniacs have spat out in the last eight decades since 1939: that's literally just 85 years, which means some of these abhorrent people are still alive.)
I do NOT write here often and I am more present in Ao3/Discord with friends, so please do not expect consistent writing here lmao
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ramshackle's finally turned into a heap of rubble. you saw that one coming a long time ago. what you didn't see is the harem of unsavory magicians trying to keep you confined within their dorms. ( <- prev | intermission | next -> )
( not exactly dissociation, but detaching from reality (?), h4rassment [Lilia ๐๐], sexual innuendos [still lilia ๐], dubcon [yes him], breakdowns, implied mind control, malleus gives bad advice to his brother ๐๐, mentioned violenc3, reader has it bad, lots of crying. )
Youโre slowly forgetting the look of your home.
There are times when you lie in your bed at Ramshackle, stare up at the rickety ceiling, and marvel at how vastly different it is from your back home. A room that you had lived in since childhood, full of marks from different parts of your childhood, and decorated to make it your own. Living in this grim, run-down shack for months now, you can barely remember what shade of [Color] your walls were, and the view outside your window was a blur to you now.
Now you move from room to room, changing colors and beds and roommates. Your own bedroom was slowly losing its image in your mind.
You also remembered loathing the creaking of the stairs when your family decided to barge into your room to either order you around or just to bother you in general. Now, every time the walls of Ramshackle creaked, you closed your eyes and imagined that it was your sibling on their way to annoy you again. But the other dorms were more maintained, no creaks or drafts to imagine your family to. You only turn your head to see the outline of the men who love to smother you in this suffocation they call love.
โ[Y. Name]?โ
Very rarely is there someone so gentle-spoken and princely in this mess of a school, so you knew that Silver Vanrouge was there waiting upon you as you peeled your cheek off the school desk. Your short nap has you yawning into your palm, and Silverโs stoic face quirks into a fond smile as he regards your messy look.
โNice nap, I take it?โ He asks, gently taking you by the hand and guiding you onto your feet. He tucks a strand of hair behind your ear and nods approvingly. โFatherโ er, Liliaโ um.โ He sighs when he catches your knowing look. โSorry, force of habit. Everyone is eagerly awaiting your arrival at Diasomnia. Lord Malleus seems to be quite excited, too. Heโs looking forward to dinner with you.โ
โDinner, huh?โ Walking alongside Silverโs languid pace, you think back to the Master Chef and the food that General Lilia whipped up in his dream. Silver takes note of your darkening expression and shakes his head.
โFather was insistent on cooking, but Sebek tried to convince him that ordering takeout from Mostro Lounge would be better. Lord Malleus was also quick to jump in and sway him.โ The two of you share a chuckle as you imagine how chaotic that scene must have been. โFather was on his way to Mostro Lounge when I departed to find you. Whereโs Grim, if I may ask?โ
โInfirmary,โ you say as lightly as possible. Silver smiles wryly.
Outside Diasomniaโs mirror, Silver slowly comes to a stop, and he turns to face you. You are surprised when Silver drops to his one knee, looking every bit as knightly as he prides himself on being. When he lifts his faceโ fair, gorgeous, and tinged with sympathyโ he presses a hand to his chest as he holds your gaze steadfast.
โOn my honor as a knight, I promise that no harm will befall you in Diasomnia,โ he pledges to you, taking in that weary look in your eye as he takes your hand in his. โAfter all, Iโ we adore you so. We owe it to you to give you a sanctuary when you have nowhere to turn. So, please, rest easy. We are Diasomnia, after all.โ He takes your hand and presses its back against his lips, turning to you with a reassuring smile, yet something uncertain flashes in his eyes. โWho else would be the most suited to give you a proper sleep?โ
Even at such a small dinner party, Diasomnia spares no expense in making sure youโre cared for. As soon as Silver escorts you through the massive doors, Lilia is quick to pop out of nowhere with his youthful grin. โWell, well, if it isnโt the belle of the ball! I trust my son has been a wonderful escort!โ He winks at you before hurriedly pushing you. โCome, come, Malleus has been eager to see you since forever! If we leave him alone for any longer, Iโm afraid that even Sebek cannot calm his tantrum!โ
โTโ Tantrum?โ You echo, letting yourself be pushed around by the bat fae. Silver quietly follows behind.ย โIs Tsunoโ uh, Malleus angry?โ
Lilia chuckles. โNo need to act polite. You know that Malleus is quite fond of your nickname for him. But no, not angry, but he has been sulking about the other dorms having you to themselves.โ Stopping at a smaller yet equally impressive door, he steps in front of you and gives you an apologetic smile. โNow, I wonโt pretend to be ignorantโ weโre all quite aware of the rumors around you.โ The expression on your face must be exceedingly bitter, because Lilia reaches up to pinch away the frown and shakes his head. โYou know how overprotective our Malleus is, so we have taken extra precautions to keep him away from those nasty whispers.โ
โSebekโs taken too many precautions, I think,โ Silver speaks up from beside you. Lilia waves it away.
โThey do deserve it, and itโs not like Malleus has heard of Sebekโs actions. Yet.โ Lilia puts two steady hands on your shoulders and levels you with a stare. โUs hardworking knights have done our best to protect you and others from Malleusโ wrath, so please donโt let it slip, okay? I am not against Malleus smiting those wicked men, but youโฆโ
You shake your head immediately. Lilia steps back with a satisfied smile and pinches your cheek one last time. โOf course. Our [Y. Name] is ever so kind, after all.โ
Silver and Lilia push aside the doors to reveal a small table fit for five with Mostro Lounge takeout placed appetizingly around green-flamed candelabras. Malleus is looking out the window, lightning flashing to illuminate the stormy expression on his face, while Sebek is saying something to placate him. When they hear the doors creak, they quickly turn around.
โ[Y. Name],โ Malleus greets you warmly, approaching you in long strides. He is handsome as ever, the friendly expression sitting so regal on such an otherworldly face that makes you feel small compared to him. You think back to the days when you didnโt know how much of a deal Malleus was, taking late-night walks with him outside of Ramshackle. Youโve always thought him handsome and imposing, but certainly not someone you would be scared of.
The image of his Overblot form overlaps with his current form as he stops in front of you, but you return his smile as sweetly as you could. โMalleus! Thanks again for the invite; the others were driving me crazy.โ
He chuckles, smooth as butter, but you catch the darkening of his eyes for a sliver of a second. โMm, yes, Iโve heard whispers.โ Behind him, Sebek starts telling you to stop with a cutthroat motion. He quickly stands still when Malleus follows your eyes to look behind him. He turns back to look at you, smiling the same as ever. โWould you care to join us for dinner? Weโve prepared quite a feast to welcome you.โ
You say your thanks as everyone joins Malleus at the table. โI couldโve cooked, you know~!โ Lilia sighs. โIs it not rather rude to serve take-out to a guest as dear as our [Y. Name]?โ
โNโ Not really,โ you nervously laugh. โIn fact, Iโm already getting shy from all this unnecessary welcome. None of the other houses really did this for meโฆโ
โOf course!โ Sebek booms with pride across you, thumping his chest with his hand. โIt is to be expected that Diasomnia, the dorm that our Lord Malleus leads, will be a step above the rest!โ
Lilia, on the other hand, leans forward on the table and perches his sly face on his hands. โOh, Iโm sure the other dorms must have been hospitable in their own wayโฆโ He purrs, eyeing you knowingly. โBut fae pride themselves on being hospitable. I think serving takeout is somewhat distasteful, but if our guest has no complaints, then who am I to say so!โ
The dinner falls into a comfortable conversation, each one playing a role theyโve clearly been playing for many years. Lilia cheerily inquires about you on the general state of things, with Malleus slyly trying to weasel information from you on what (or who) youโve been up to these past few weeks. Sebek loudly demands that you answer his young lordโs questions while Silver scolds Sebek for being too imposing.ย
The scene isโฆ familiar. Sharing takeout around the dinner table, interacting freely with each otherโ they overlap with people from your world. Your parents, your siblings, your friendsโฆ You bow your head and force yourself to take another bite, blinking away the sting welling up in the corner of your eyes.
You donโt quite notice the shared looks around the table, the green candlelights of Diasomnia flickering every so slightly brighter.
SEBEK ZIGVOLT has no duty to you. Nothing is binding him to you, so why does his heart squeeze so painfully when he sees you with that vacant look in your eyes?
Youโre standing on one of the dormโs many balconies, unmindful of the chilly wind blowing throughout the night. Bathed in the serene glow of the moonlight, Sebek would have mistaken you for a nocturnal fae had he not known any better. The indifferent look on your face, as you look upon everything that Diasomnia has to offer, is eerily inhuman.
Sebek swallows down his feelings and knocks on the glass door leading out to the balcony. You turn to him, a little light returning to your eyes, yet your expression still stays somber. โYouโre supposed to be in your room,โ Sebek says stiffly. โItโs already lights out. Do yourself a favor and get some rest.โ
โHi, Sebek,โ you softly greet him, turning back to the dreary view below. You study the twisting vines and branches. โDonโt you get depressed living in a place like this? Itโs soโฆ well, depressing.โ
He frowns, taking the space beside you. Heโs never thought of it. Briar Valley was full of similar twisting vines, and they werenโt so scary when the woodland fae were there to light the way. โI donโt think much of it,โ he huffs. โI donโt have the luxury of admiring views when Iโm busy serving Lord Malleus.โ
You laugh shortly, like you expected that answer. โOf course, of course,โ you hum, smiling to yourself as you continue looking out. โMy mistake. Our dear Sebek is wholly devoted to making his young lord proud.โ There is a silence as you ponder to yourself. โ... One question.โ
โI will permit it.โย
You playfully roll your eyes at such haughtiness but continue anyway, expression taking on a softer note, โYour dreamโฆ When you dreamt of celebrating Lilia and Malleusโs internshipsโฆ Were you happy?โ
Sebekโs eyes widened at the unexpected question. โIโ Well, yes, I suppose so.โ The memories of that dream and the circumstances that came alongside it left a bitter taste on his tongue, but he supposes that he could forgive you since you were caught up in it as well. โThe dream was intended to make one happy, and nothing would make me happier than to see Master Lilia and Lord Malleus thriving and healthy.โ
โHow was it?โ You press on. โDid it really feel like the paradise that Malleus intended it to be? Did it feel like you wanted to be there forever?โ
Sebek looks at you once more. Youโre staring at him, eyes probing him for answers. He bites the inside of his cheek before tearing his gaze away from you. โOf course, I did,โ he says hesitantly. โLord Malleus was happy, Master Lilia wonโt leave us permanently, Silver would still have his father, and nothing could make me happier. Before you and Silver barged in, I was as content as I could be.โ
โIf you didnโt know anything,โ you continued to press. โIf Silver didnโt tell you that it was a dream, would you have ever woken up?โ
Sebek stays silent before he looks at you almost angrily. โWhat is this about?โ He demands. โWhy are you so curious about my dream?โ
You stare at him, looking a bit shocked at the hint of frustration coming from him, before you press your lips together in a bitter line. โ... my dream.โ
โWhat?โ Sebek raises his voice, brows knit together in exasperation. โHow am I supposed to understand you if you keep slurring your words!โ
Jaw clenched, your hands bundle into fists as you stare long and hard into the distance. โMy dream.โ You say louder. โI couldnโt experience it.โ
โWhat could you possibly gain from such an experience?โ He practically spits. โLord Malleus is indeed great enough to spin such a realistic dream from his magic alone, but the fact that it isnโt real should already deter you. Itโs already a humiliation for me that you, Silver, and that beast of yours have seen that side of me.โ
Tsk. You find yourself growing irate with Sebekโs frank words, though you know that heโs said nothing wrong. โI know that, Iโm not stupid. Itโs justโ! Itโs just not fair, okay! Iโve had to jump from dream to dream, see all of you live your best lives, even for just a moment. You had maybe an hour or even more to live out a reality where you were perfectly happy!โ
โWhat part of fake do you not get?โ
โIt wasnโt fake for you!โ You spin to him, angry tears welling in your eyes. Your expression had contorted into one so ugly, so pathetic, so human that he almost reeled back. โBefore Silver and I came along, that was your reality! I wanted that! For one hour at least, I could live out a life where I was actually happy! I could be back in my room, I would be hanging out in my usual cafe, Iโd be grinding my dailies on my PC, Iโd get to see my family again! I donโtโ!โ You let out an ugly laugh. โFuck, I donโt even remember the color of my walls anymore! Itโs not even been a year! This school is fucking killing me!โ
A moment of silence passes after your outburst, your chest heaving from the screaming, and Sebek watching you crumple onto the floor. Human. Youโre so human, like the rest of them. Ugly and jealous and inferior and everything he didnโt want to be.
A beat passes. โ... Do you hate it hereโฆ?โ
You avert your eyes. โI donโt even know anymore,โ you plainly say.
It stings, but anyone would have seen this coming, especially Sebek. You were always an outlier in every event, unable to familiarize yourself with Twisted Wonderlandโs culture and traditions in such a short amount of time. You donโt fit in. You are an alien, no matter how hard you try. Even if people say they accept you, you wouldnโt accept yourself.ย
Sebek turns his back to you, unable to properly form his words. โThenโ Then how do Iโฆ?โ
You look at Sebekโs broad, muscled back. In the darkness of the night, you donโt know whether youโre imagining the shaking of his shoulders as he mutters something to himself. โDโ Did you say something, Sebekโฆ?โ You see him shake his head and rub at his eyes with his sleeves, before turning to you with a scowl.
His eyes are wet, but his glare has real heat behind them. โOf course, you would want to leave,โ Sebek plainly says. โYou donโt belong here.โย
Now, you glare at him for stating something so painfully obvious. Did he really have to rub the facts in your face? โBut how could you leave? Thereโs been no spell in history opening a portal to another dimension. You are the first of your kind. It is a foolโs hope to even think of devising such an unthinkable spell.โ
โYou donโt know thatโ!โ
โAnd you donโt know if a spell like that even exists,โ he shot back. โDo you think, in all his greatness and power, Lord Malleus would not have done so already? He has a terrible fondness for you that I cannot fathom, but if Lord Malleus couldnโt do it, then who else can?โ
You think back to Malleus overblot, those inky hands clawing at you from dreams as he latches onto your body with enough vice to never let you go. โWould he?โ You say sardonically. โCome on, Sebek. Weโve been through so many dreams because of that. Would he really?โ
Sebek shoots you an infuriatingly smug smile when you finally come to the conclusion that heโs wanted. โExactly. If Lord Malleus of all people would not permit you to leave Twisted Wonderland, thenโโ
You stare back at him in stunned silence as it finally dawns on you. Sebek, with the smallest hint of guilt, relishes in it.
โโ Who are you to believe that you could actually leave?โ
You (SILVER VANROUGE): Father.
You (SILVER VANROUGE): Father. You must do something about Sebek. His violence is getting out of hand.
You (SILVER VANROUGE): I cannot keep covering up for him. Day by day his outbursts are getting more and more aggressive. It is also unseemly for us to be attacking civilians.
You (SILVER VANROUGE): I know he would agree. He was never the type to lay hands on civilians before. Why now would heโฆ?ย
Father (LILIA VANROUGE): ohoho :3 young love, how I love to see it !
You (SILVER VANROUGE): This is no laughing matter, Father. Iโve tried talking to Sebek about it but wonโt listen to a word I say. Just this morning we got into a fight over how I donโt care enough for [Y. Name].ย
You (SILVER VANROUGE): I was so upset at the accusation that we almost exchanged blows. But stillโฆ am I in the wrong?
Father (LILIA VANROUGE): Of course not! u n sebek care in ur own way!! since ure so easygoing, ure able to be by the prefectโs side whenever to protect them from any harm
Father (LILIA VANROUGE): but sebek canโt be honest with himself, the poor thing (ใฃยดฯ`)๏พ(โฅฯโฅ) u and i know that all he wants is to protect those dear to him,,, so letโs just look the other way, ok ? โก
Father (LILIA VANROUGE): otherwise, i fear that even the cute prefect wonโt be able to handle sebekโs overeagerness (๏ฝฅฯ<)โ
โOh me, oh my!โ LILIA VANROUGE sits on the edge of your bed, kicking his legs back and forth as he greets you with youthful cheer. โThatโs an awfully glum expression you have there, dear! Did Sebek say something to upset you again? Iโm sorry, that boy has such a mouth on him. I fear that he gets it from his grandfather.โ
Having just entered the room, your throat feels dry as you watch Lilia pat his side. โLilia,โ you croak out. โI thoughtโฆ? Is this your room?โ
Lilia covers his mouth with both hands as if youโve suggested something very scandalous. โOh my, I could never! You sly thing! You look so innocent, but here you are insinuating!โ He wags a finger at you. โBad, bad! Of course, we arranged for you to have your own room. It wouldnโt be very noble of us Diasomnia folks if we had a guest share, now would it?โ
Turning to the side, Lilia then mutters to himself, โAnd Sebek and Silver wouldnโt let me.โ
โWhat was that?โ
โOh, nothing!โ Lilia leaps up and drags you to the bed with him. โNow, come! It wouldnโt do for you stand there all night long with such a grim look on your face! Whatโs got you in a twist?โ
โNโ Nothingโฆโ You say, twiddling with your thumbs as you look despondently down on your lap. You ignore Liliaโs constant moving in the background. โJust came to a realization, thatโs all.โ
Lilia hums knowingly, having produced a brush from one of the dressers and starting to run its bristle across your strands. โOh, donโt mind me. I just thought you might do with a little grooming, thatโs all. Do carry on. Realization about what?โ
โ... My current predicament?โ You sigh hopelessly. โLiliaโฆ Is there really no hope?โ
โFor you to return home?โ He replies in an upbeat tone, as if the conversation wasnโt heavy at all. โAt the beginning, I would have said that there was a chance. Even if our headmage is a lout, the fact that you were summoned here means that there is a way of opening the fabric between worldsโ just that it hasnโt been explored yet.โ Then he pinches your cheek, grinning at you from the side. โBut then you had to go charm Malleus! How could you ever leave after that!โ
Sebek said the same thing. Malleus thisโฆ Malleus thatโฆ If you werenโt ignorant on the night that you met Malleus, would he have ever held any affection for you? Or if he would, would it be to the degree of possessiveness that everyone thinks he has? The fists clenched in your lap relax. What was the point of ruminating over the past?
โYou know, Malleus was such a selfish boy growing up,โ Lilia sighs, using his fingers to unknot a particularly stubborn one in your hair. โSo possessive over me as well! Why, when Silver came along, he could hardly comprehend that he had to share me! I didnโt know whether to be flattered or troubled. Everyone in that family, really... what a bunch of troublemakers!โ
You smile to yourself. โI saw.โ
You feel Lilia nod behind you. โOh, you did, alright. My embarrassing pastโฆ Iโm happy that it was only you, Silver, Sebek, and dear Grim who saw it! I wouldnโt know what to do if my other schoolmates saw such a grumpy side of meโฆ Itโs very uncool!โ
โI think a lot of people would disagree otherwise,โ you say. You think back to when Lilia would glare down at the four of you coldly, every bit of the terrific general as his followers praised him to be. โWe were certainly scaredโฆ and awestruck.โ
โNow were you?โ You hear a bit of pleased satisfaction in Liliaโs voice as he finishes brushing your hair. โThere you go, smooth as a babyโs bum.โ From above, Lilia looked down at you with half-lidded eyes and a smug smile. โDid I hear you correctly? Did our pretty prefect fall in love with General Lilia at first sight?โ
โNow you know I said no such thingโ w-woah!โ You find yourself pinned to the bed, your head in between Liliaโs thighs as he continues to stare at you. โLilia! What the hell!โ
โNow thatโs a look,โ he hums. His lithe fingers trace your expressionโ to the crease between your brows to the dip in your cupidโs bowโ and cocks his head to the side. โFrom depressed to angry, you sure are a fickle one. When I first laid eyes on you, you were as meek as a mouse, but I would never have thought that you had such fire in you! Iโm sure you were well-adored in your world as well.โ At the mention of your world, your eyes dim a little, and Lilia pats your head lovingly as you become lost in thought. โAnd yet, that fire cannot be stoked in this world. After all, thereโs so many bad men who are willing to douse that water out just to have your cinders for themselvesโฆ One cannot blame you for losing that spark.โ
You continue to be silent, his vague analogies lost on your drifting mind. His rhythmic strokes lull you to a false sense of comfort, the back of your brain nagging at you that something is wrong. โBut itโs not so bad, is it? When your future begins to look bleak, itโs okay to depend on us. We all love you so much, surely that means something to you?โ
Loveโฆ You turn the word around in your brain like a stone to be examined. Does love feel so suffocating and so hopeless? Is love supposed to make you feel fear? Glancing up at Liliaโs red eyes, looking down at you all, fatherly and doting, you wonder if love is supposed to look so sinister and scheming. He tuts at you.ย
โNow, now, youโre in no condition to be thinking so hard.โ He massages the creases between your brows and cocks his head to the side. Blocking out the ceiling light, it haloes around him and casts a dark shadow on his face. You are unable to decipher the strange expression he has on. โOn the chance that you canโt come home, youโre not lacking for anything here. So many possibilities! Royal consort of Sunset Savannahโs second prince, married to the heir of the al Asim wealth, the partner of A-list star Schoenheitโฆ or even live out a cozy life baking treats with your lover, picking apples with dear Epel in the countryside, managing the ever-so-successful Mostro Lounge with Ashengrottoโฆ The possibilities are endless!โ
โAs for what Iโd do with youโฆโ He taps a finger on his porcelain cheek, making a display of thinking. โSevens, Iโm already old, so Iโm afraid I canโt compete with the younger onesโ vigor. Still, youโve enamored me for a long time now, and this old man canโt help but spend the rest of his days with you and the boys. What do you think?โ He smiles at you cheerfully, pointy fangs poking out from his upper lip. โWe make a pretty cute pair, donโt you think?โ
You hum thoughtlessly. โWhatever you sayโฆโ
He pouts at you. โHave the other fiends harassed you so much that you donโt react to this anymore? I remember when youโd squeak at the slightest touch. If a face as cute as mine canโt move your heart anymore, then what am I to do?โ He sighs.ย
โYou could let me sleep?โ You suggest hopefully. He snickers, and you drop any hope of actually getting in an early rest.
โBut I havenโt had my fill of playing with you yet! Silver and Sebek may think that weโve taken you under our roof under the goodness of our hearts, but Iโve always been a ruffian. Less knightly and more soldier, as you well know.โ He lifts himself from where he sits, the mattress pushing upwards as he stands. Itโs a rather awkward position as you avert your eyes to avoid seeing any more up his shorts, and you hear him laugh at your politeness. Those slender legs straddle themselves on your chest, and with a squeak, you look back at him to see a rather self-satisfied expression on his face. โWell! There you go! Just a little bit of skinship to have you squeaking like a mouse. Not so cold as I thought.โ
โThโ This isnโt a little bit!โ You protest, attempting to push him away before your fingers curl in on themselves just inches away from his bare legs. โYouโre literally on top of me!โ
โJust some innocent roughhousing!โ Fully playing the act of an innocent boy, he purposefully squirms to feel the friction between the two of you. He laughs in delight when you cover your mouth to stop any inappropriate noises. โWhatโs the fuss? Is our innocent prefect actually thinking naughty thoughts right now?โ
โYou know what youโre doing!โ You whine. He chuckles again, toying with the fray of your clothes in silence as you try to settle into the new position. Lilia finds it rather endearing that you havenโt tried to push him away, whether it was out of politeness or simply because youโve learned your lesson from past houses. The perfect and cutest doormat. He sees you toss your head to the side and squeeze your eyes shut as his fingers tease and graze along the curves of your hips, watching closely every minuscule change in expression as he gently grabs your waist and presses his thumbs into your abdomen.
โIf anyone walked in, this would be enough to fuel their fantasies for months,โ he muses to himself, enjoying the way your abdomen tenses under his touch. โTwo cute things playing with each other, me straddling you in between my legs, your thighs shivering as I touch you all overโฆ What a sight to behold, Iโm sure. Being like this together makes me rather happy that we met at my current age. I wouldnโt know what my younger self would do to such an adorable, pathetic thing like you.โ
You whimper as his fingers go higher and higher, circling your chest but never fully committing. Your shirt is well above your neckline, exposing your torso to the cold air. โThat brute may have ravaged you on the spot in front of all his army, maiming your neck just so every fae in the vicinity will know that youโre the generalโs. He may not control himself when another man tries to touch you. Iโve always been messyโฆ Thorn Fairy knows how many times Baur has tried to lecture me on this front.โ
โThat is why~โ He leans down, your bare chest against his clothed one, and he grinds down for good measure. โYouโre so lucky to meet cute olโ me. They say patience comes with age, and Iโve 700 years of it.โ He presses a kiss on your forehead, sickly innocent in contrast to his perverted fondling. When he lifts his head, he is grinning down at you like he knows exactly whatโs going to happen next.
โSo even if you try to resist, I still have plenty of years left to make you see things my way.โ
Thisโฆ might be the longest youโve slept in any dorm yet. Youโre rather surprised, yes, but youโre not going to complain. Although the darkness of Diasomnia may have fucked up your internal clock for a little bit, you find yourself waking up refreshed in the mornings. Really, this is the hospitality that youโve been needing for a while now.
And yetโฆ why doesโฆ?
You shake the minuscule worries gnawing at the back of your mind and start getting ready for bed. You and Grim fucked up another potion-making test today and have to wake up early in the morning to retrieve the ingredients for your retake. Well, it was more so that you fucked it up for both of you. Your mind has been foggy these days that Ace and Deuce have to literally shake you by the shoulders to snap you out of it.
Itโs a pleasant dazeโฆ something that you wouldnโt mind falling deeper into. Butโฆ You shake your head and slap your cheeks in front of the mirror. You gotta take this retake seriously, or Professor Crewel will seriously chew your ass out. Now, where were those notesโฆ
As you rummage through your bag for your papers, you hear a steady rapping on your door. โComing!โ You call out to them, quickly rushing to the door while you make yourself appropriate. You find MALLEUS DRACONIA staring down as soon as you swing open the door.
โCare for a walk?โ He asks with the expression of trying not to seem overeager. You hesitate, thinking back on your upcoming test before shaking your head and looping your arm through his.
โI have to retake a test tomorrow,โ you tell him as you step outside. โI messed up todayโs test.โ
Malleus hums. โItโs highly understandable that you donโt excel in Alchemy. Youโre no mage, and you have an unruly direbeast to perform magic on your behalf. Does Night Raven College not consider your predicament?โ
โMmm, not really.โ You idly kick a pebble. โI mean, Grim and I make up two halves of one student, right? Grim performs the magic, and I haveโฆ opposable thumbs.โ You shrug and look up at him. โIโm the one who messed up. I accidentally dropped a whole lot more mugwort than the recipe asked for. It didnโt need magic or anything; I was just being stupid. I havenโt been thinking straight these daysโฆโ
โHmmโฆโ Malleus hums again, looking to the side thoughtfully. โThere has been a lot of activity going on with you recentlyโฆโ
โUm, activity?โ You cock your head to the side. โIโ I donโt think so? Iโve been doing the same as Iโve always have, I think?โ
He smiles at you, looking like he knows something that you donโt. โOh, that was just some off-comment of mine, pardon me. After this walk, perhaps I could educate you on whatever potion it is that youโre struggling with.โ
You perk up. โYou would?! I meanโ ahem.โ You sheepishly look to the side. โSebek would have my head for making you do that. Itโs okay, really, I can manage.โ
The century-old dragon fae pouts at you, lifting your chin by the finger to make you look at him. โDo you prioritize my retainerโs word over my own?โ He grumbles, looking oddly adorable as his mature face creases into a childish sulk. โIt is not every day that I offer to tutor someone. You ought to be grateful that I offered my services.โ
You canโt help but crack a wry smile, becoming increasingly aware of the faint electricity crackling in the atmosphere. โWell, if the Prince of the Valley of Thorns insists, then who am I to refuse, right?โ Malleus pulls away, looking smugly satisfied with your words and with himself.
โExactly,โ he croons. There is a mischievous expression on his face as he looks down on you, lips pursed into a rogueish smile as he draws his face closer to you. โWell, then, shall we start the session?โ
There is the cool sensation of his lips pressed against your forehead, before you feel the tender trunk of vines wrapping themselves around your ankle, twisting further up and up to your thigh till they create a cradle around your torso. Malleusโ pale face blurs in and out of focus, looking at you just like he once did when he was covered in ink and going insane.ย
โSee you in a few, my dear,โ is all you hear, faint and soft like a lullaby, until the black thorns block your vision and you finally go to sleep.
You open your eyes to a familiar [F. Color] ceiling, popcorned and patchy with stickers you stuck on throughout different phases of your childhood. There is a loud, obnoxious banging on the door, along with an even more obnoxious voice telling you to wake up. A more muted one, so faint that itโs drowned out by the banging and shouting, says something that you canโt make out.ย
You groan and roll over, hugging the pillow to your chest. โShut uppp, Sebek!โ The banging stops for a loud gasp before it resumes with an even louder force. Man, this guy.
Knowing that nothing will stop Sebek from knocking your whole door down, you decide to spare yourself the misery of broken hinges and swing the door wide open. Still in your pajamas and sporting a bedhead, you scowl at the already in-uniform Sebek. โWhat?!โ
He scowls back at you. โWhat do you mean by โwhatโ?! Look at you, underdressed and disheveled at six in the morning. School starts at eight, and here you are wasting precious daylight! Get moving!โ
You open your mouth to argue back, before Silver steps in between the two of you. โOkay, thatโs enough. [Y. Name]โs already awake, and thatโs all that matters.โ Silver looks to you and smiles. โYou can freshen up after eating breakfast. You pulled an all-nighter again, didnโt you?โ
โMalleus had me memorizing formulas the entire night!โ You complained, yawning into your hand as you began to walk downstairs. โIโm pooped.โ
โMalleus taught you?!โ You wince and plug your ears with your fingers as Sebek yells into your ear. The two of you stop just short of the staircase, glaring into each otherโs eyes again. โYou had Malleus teaching you, and you have the nerve to complain!โ
You stick your tongue out at him. โMaybe Malleus could teach you, too, if you lived hereโโ You fake a gasp, hand covering your mouth like you just realized something. โOh, but you donโt live here, do you? Blehhh.โ
โWhy youโ!โ
As you and Sebek begin duking it out in this cramped hallway, you feel something boring into the side of your skull. When Sebek claims his victory by (lightly) smacking you upside the head and begins to head down himself, you shoot a quizzical look towards Silver, whoโs been staring at you with an odd look in his eye. โSilver?โ You call out. โYouโฆ er, okay? Whatโs up?โ
Silver shakes his head before returning to his stoic yet soft expression. โNothing. I was justโฆ wondering. Letโs head down and eat breakfast before it gets cold.โ
โIgnore him,โ Sebek scoffs from the foot of the staircase. He has one hand outstretched to you, blush faintly covering his cheeks as he averts his eyes from you. โHeโs always an airhead.โ Sending a teasing grin Sebekโs way that he pointedly ignores, you gladly take his hand and let him escort you to the kitchen.
โWell, well, looks like Sleeping Beauty has finally joined us!โ Lilia teases as soon as the three of you enter the kitchen. Donning a frilly apron, he sets the table with Malleus taking the head of the table as always. You find your usual positions on the table, grimacing at the odd-looking concoctions. โI could hear the racket you were making from all the way here!โ You and Sebek grumble out varying volumes of apologies.
โAre you prepared for your test today, [Y. Name]?โ Malleus leans on the table with his arms propped up, watching you with glimmering green eyes. โI take it that youโve familiarized yourself with the potionโs recipe?โ
โPโ Potionโฆ?โ You furrow your brows. You were taking aโฆ chemistry test today, werenโt you? Butโฆ but of course! Potions and chemistry. That much was obvious. Your confusion melts away into sureness, and you nod cheerfully. โYep. Got the recipe down pat. I think Iโll ace Crewelโs test today, no sweat!โ
He reclines with a pleased smile. โUnder my tutelage, there is no doubt you will โaceโ this test.โ Sebek, whoโs been piling heaps of rice on his plate, eagerly leans forward.
โIfโ If itโs no bother to you, Malleus, could I join you for your next session?โ He asks hopefully. โIโ Iโve been struggling with academics as wellโฆ!โ
Malleus chuckles, looking beyond amused at Sebekโs attempts. โThereโs no need to downplay yourself, Sebek. I know your academics have been far more than satisfactory. You have your own due diligence to thank for that.โ Sebek shoots you a haughty look across the table, to which you respond by kicking him by the shin under the table. He glares at you but does not attempt to respond.
Breakfast goes by with Malleus and Lilia conversing about everyday topics while you and Sebek try to stomach the food. Lilia eats some of his own cooking, but Silver and Malleus donโt touch anything. Malleus never had a large appetite, but you nudge Silver with your elbow. โArenโt you gonna eat?โ You gesture at this empty plate. โYou canโt go to school on an empty stomach, you know! Youโre in a sports club!โโ
With an odd look of helplessness, Silver stares at his plate for a second. โI doubt this could fill me up,โ he mutters under his breath, before he looks at you. โPardon my asking, but does this have any taste to you, [Y. Name]?โ
Something in the air tenses, Malleus narrowing his eyes at Silverโs direction. โSilver,โ he says in a tone so dangerous that it has you and Sebek focusing on your own plates. โLeave it be.โ
Silver purses his lips, like he wants to say something, before defeatedly looking away. โYes, myโ I mean, yes, Malleus,โ is the only thing he mutters before he heaps himself a serving of rice just to poke at it. The silence is so awkward that even the ever sociable Lilia looks like heโs at a loss as he tries to figure out this mysterious interaction between the men.ย
Malleusโs green eyes donโt seem to quite leave Silver before they soften and settle on you. โLetโs pick up where we left off last night on the way to school. I shall be your escort today.โ He gestures to Sebek. โSebek, kindly see to it that Silver goes to school on time. [Y. Name] and I shall make our leave first.โ
Although Sebek looks disheartened at the command, he follows through with it and is still nagging Silver when you finally finish freshening up and head out the door with Malleus. Lilia waves the two of you cheerily off, and you both begin the familiar route to school in comfortable silence. Malleus seems to take in his surroundings with curiosity, whatever interest he may find in the same old suburban buildings and sky-high towers in the distance.
โIt never ceases to amuse me,โ he ruminates. โHow a world can be soโฆ ordinary. No magic to be found. It is charmingly mundane, indeed.โ
โHm?โ Malleus has always had a habit of rambling about mysterious stuff thatโs almost nonsensical to you, so you always brush his meandering off as some sort of personality quirk. โWell, it does grow boring when youโve been living here for almost all your life,โ you absentmindedly agree as you skip over a crack. Or break your mamaโs crack, you hum as you continue skipping. You turn around to Malleus, who looks at you with an unreadable expression. โWhere do you wanna live instead, Mal?โ
โIf I said a world full of magic and wonder, where youโd never want for anything, would you follow me there?โ
โOf course, I will!โ You nod. โI mean, weโre family, arenโt we? We might not be blood, but weโre a package deal! Iโm sure Lilia would be too worried about leaving you somewhere on your own, and Silver will followโฆ then Sebek tooโฆ oh, but Sebekโs familyโฆโ Listing them all off, you raise five fingers at him. โLilia, Silver, and me, then Sebek and his family! Weโll all follow you!โ
Malleus stares at your outstretched palm, held up to him proudly as you look at him expectantly. Then he begins to chuckle into his palm, and eventually bellowing into full-blown laughter. Even youโre taken aback by this sudden burst of laughter, and you circle him to inspect what could be wrong with him. โHey, whatโs with you? Whatโs so funny?โ You pout at him. โI wasnโt joking, you know!โ
His merriment dying down, he continues looking at you with the same fondness as you both resume walking. โOf course, of course. How could a sweet thing like you possibly lie to someone like me?โ Rather big ego he has there, but you choose to ignore it. โI guess thatโs another wonder of this world. Iโve yet to see you so happy. Itโs rather thought-provoking what a change of environment can do to oneโs personality.โ
โYou always say the most confusing things!โ You naively remark. You look back at him after skipping another crack. โIโm happy every day! Iโve got everyone with me. Later, my friends and I are gonna go to this ritzy mini-golfing thing.โ You make a lousy attempt at swinging your imaginary golf club. โPutt! Or something.โย
You stop your playing around when you finally reach the pedestrian crossing, and Malleus watches as your already carefree expression stretches into a happy smile as you wave at your friends from the other side. Theyโre unfamiliar to Malleus, clearly memories of people from your worldโ or what was left of those memories. They mirror the same carefree smiles and waves, but their features are darkened by the shadows of their hair. You are clearly forgetting.
He looks around. The scenery doesnโt seem to be coherent either. Now in the thick of the city, you are surrounded by skyscrapers and bustling shops, yet a closer inspection reveals things that should only exist in Twisted Wonderland. Why else would a magickless world need a store hawking magic pens and brooms? He looks down on his uniform. There are symbols from Night Raven College littered throughout the original design of the uniform of the school you used to come from, a clear mismatch with your relatively unblemished one. He hums.
โ[Y. Name],โ he calls. He preens when you quickly turn around, foregoing your friends to give him your entire attention. The way you look at him, all starry-eyed and untroubled, is a sight that he could never get used to. Always diminishing yourself for the sake of not getting picked on, jumpy at every show of magicโ he would never have guessed that the otherworlder he had met on that fateful night outside Ramshackle would be this lighthearted and blithesome. โ[Y. Name],โ he calls again.
โMalleus, Malleus,โ you playfully echo back to him. He represses an ungraceful snort.
โYou always seem to favor this dream,โ he muses, walking towards you and gingerly taking a stray strand in between his gloved fingers. โPartaking in breakfast around the table, squabbling with your family, taking leisurely strolls to schoolโฆ Later, you will doze off in the middle of a lecture, making sure to hide your antics behind a book. Then you will race with your friends to buy whatever special the cafeteria has today. There will be your clubs, then you will make merry with your friends in town, then go back home satisfied and not having finished your homework. This unremarkable routine is what you always come back to.โ
He cocks his head to you, taking in your confused expression. โHave you always been this easy to satisfy? If Iโm not mistaken, this is what you already do, isnโt it?โ
You furrow your brows. โWhat I alreadyโฆ?โ
Malleus throws his head back and laughs. โSo many hints, yet you refuse to wake up. I donโt mind. Silver canโt pin the blame on me if you are unwilling to release yourself from these delusions.โ
The scenery shifts, the buildings dissolve into the ground and melt into inky shadows until a looming stone-walled castle rises to take their place. You stumble backwards and frantically look back to the images of your friends, who have vanished into the black thorns, gradually blocking the darkening sky. You yelp when you feel Malleusโ hand against the small of your back, and you look up to see his face darkened withโฆ
โYou would never respond this brightly when I placed you within the confines of my palace, adorned in fineries fit for royalty. This blinding smile youโve always shown me in this worldโฆ nowhere to be seen even when I seat you on the throne next to me. I tell youโ I order you to love me, yet you only nod and fold your hands subserviently. You give me compliance when I wanted your heart!โ His taloned nails dig through your uniform and barely pierce your skin.ย
His expression is downright livid, glaring down at you as green lightning streaks against the dark sky. He brings his other hand to pointingly dig into your temple. โI could easily manipulate this feeble mind of yours. Humans are so eager to submit to pleasure, and yetโโ He looks torn. โโ Even I force you to be my betrothed, I cannot be satiated until I know that you wholly return my feelings. It would not be a happy ending if I turned you into a marionette, would it?โ He looks off to the side, pondering something, and nods. โYes, it would do me no good. Sebek adores happy endings. I cannot deny him or Lilia and Silver one.โ
Malleus returns his gaze to you, gasping for breath as the thickness of magic begins to slowly fill your lungs. โDo you see the position you have put me in? No other dream will do for you, so here I am diminishing myself to the wiles of your ordinary world. I admit, it has been fun playing family with you and the others. How many times has it been? Walking hand-in-hand with you, playing with strays on the street with Silver, eating out at these โfamily restaurantsโ to avoid Liliaโs cooking, stopping at these little shops to gorge on โcrepesโ that Sebek has taken a liking toโฆ I admit, there is an appeal in the mundane, and yetโฆโ His eyes flick to the looming castle. Its pointed towers and gray-stone walls must feel intimidating to you when youโre so used to charming food stalls and cute models appearing on billboards.
โAlas, that is not the life I live.โ With a flick of his wrist, everything melts away into the sunny metropolitan scene, but he is still draped in that inky garb, โSo I have to make do for now. I want to know what about this world makes you happy. I want to continue seeing that smile. Iโโ Malleusโ voice hitches for a second, and despite the menacing ink floating around him, he begins to look like every schoolboy that you know. โIโve learned my lesson. Delusions cannot make us happy.โ
He swallows his tears, yet his glistening green gaze is enough to shake even the coldest hearts. โI donโt want to lose you to this world.โ His plea comes out shaky, still giving his best efforts to be composed as he usually is. โI donโt want you to leave me.โ
"So for now, I will place you in this world. The only world that will give me this smile." He takes a step back, yet his shadow continues to loom. "Till I know what will make you stay forever. Till you satisfy yourself with mere images and finally them let them go. Then you will come to me and I will show you another happiness."
You can feel still the sting of his claws. On your back. On your temple. You look at his black garb. The pedestrian sign above you chimes a signal for you to cross. You look up. The day is sunny and bright. Today will surely be a good day at school.
Youโre fucking crazy.
You continue staring at the sky. The clouds are unmoving. Actually, you donโt feel even the slightest bit of wind. You try to tune in to the passerbyโs chatter, but theyโre all incoherent. Just buzz imitating human conversation. Your friendsโ distant voices continue to repeat the same phrases as they beckon you to the other side of the street. They never stop.
Youโre really fucking crazy. I never wanted this. I donโt want this. I want to go back home. I want to sleep and wake up and remember nothing. Why why why why why me why did it have to be meโ
โ[Y. Name]?โ
Like an unused doll creaking its joints, you slowly tilt your neck down and look back at Malleus. When you werenโt looking, that mysterious outfit returned to being another poor imitation of your schoolโs uniform. The necktie shouldnโt be that color, should it? Malleus is staring at you, slowly watching your every move.ย
Every facial muscle feels wrong as your lips soften into a smile, and you stretch your hand out to wipe away the tears pricking the corners of his eyes. โWhat's wrong, Mal?โ you ask softly. You take his hand into your own and begin guiding him into crossing the street. โI told you, didnโt I?โ
โWhy would I ever want to leave my family?โ
โSILVER!โ You call out, waving to him from the school gates. In this hazy dreamscape, in a scenery with blue skies marked by towering skyscrapers, SILVER VANROUGE finds you at the same location every time.ย
You are always so pretty in that unusual uniform. Like a magnet, he finds himself drawing closer to you in the midst of a faceless crowd. You shoot him a concerned look as you give him a lookover from top to bottom. โYou alright?โ You ask, poking at the creases in between his brows. โYou look even sterner today! Something went wrong during club? Youโre awfully early today!โ
He shakes his head, but leans into your touch when you press your hand to his forehead to feel for a fever. You could never bring yourself to touch anyone like this so brazenly in the real world, so knowing that you were actually affectionateโฆ gave Silver a few opportunities to be selfish. โI skipped,โ he mumbles.
โYou skipped?!โ You cry out, staring at him with such comical bewilderment that it would have made Silver laugh were it not for the circumstances. You bring out your phone (not the cracked one that the Headmaster gave you, he observes, but (F.Color) and adorned with a personalized phone case) and hurriedly dial something. โIโ I have to call Lilia!โ
With hurried ease, Silver gently puts his hand on yours and lowers the phone. โItโs okay, really,โ he assures you. โIโฆ just wanted to go out early. Arenโt you the one always saying that โall work no play makes Silver a dull boyโ?โ At least, in the other dreams.
Fortunately, this comes to you as something as you would say, because you donโt comment on it. โBโ But youโre always saying that disciplineโ!โ He shakes his head and offers you his arm.
โCome,โ he beckons you, looking princely in his dashing school uniform and striking silver hair. With a sort of tired fondness, he crooks a smile at you. โIf I said that I wanted to spend time with you, would you indulge me at least?โ
He watches as a blush blossoms on your cheeks, and you nervously wrap your shaking arm around his. He hides a gentle chuckle to himself. So this is what you looked like as a normal student. He thinks back to whose place he might be taking up in your dreams. Could it be a friend of yours as well? Did you link arms with them as you did now? Did you enjoy living out your youth under such a stunning blue sky with them?
He shakes his head. Whoever he might have replaced, they were long gone to you. There is nothing he could do in that regard but make you happy in their place.
โAnd so, I got picked on by the teacher again!โ You whine to him. โUgh, I stayed up all night watching anime and doing my dailies, so I didnโt have the chance to read the assigned readings! Waaah, Sebekโs gonna make fun of me againโฆ!โ
Another point of interest that stood out to him was how much your attitude towards education differed from that of this world and Night Raven College. He had always assumed that you were naturally diligent, acing high scores in subjects that didnโt need magic to excel. Finding you in the library wasnโt an odd sight, and sometimes he would even find you tutoring some of your fellow first-years and Grim with little success. Yet here you were in your natural habitat, foregoing academics in favor of hanging out with friends after school or binging your animated shows.ย
While he mulled over the differences between this version of you and the one that he knew, he is snapped out of his thoughts when you began dragging him to a pop-up gathering of indie stores in the middle of a plaza. โLetโs check it out before we head home!โ You urged him, tugging his sleeve when he came to a standstill. โCome on~! Itโs such a waste of your good looks if you keep wearing the same thing whenever we go out!โ
โI donโtโโ Silver starts, but sighs when youโve successfully pulled him into shopping territory. He lets himself be dragged around by you, placing cute clips in his hair and even snapping pictures of him to send to Lilia and the others. At one point, he holds onto your hand to not get lost in the crowd as you get excited over thrifted clothes. You werenโt this absentminded either, were you? But as you turn to him with a cute hat on, posing for him as you ask whether it was cute or not, he decides that this wasnโt bad either. If you were so at ease that you didnโt feel the need to keep your guard up, then maybe he should let you enjoy yourself for a little bit.
There are things here that exist in Twisted Wonderlandโ cars, phones, colorful balloonsโ and then he looks up expecting to see a mage whiz by on their broom only forโฆ nothing. Despite living the majority of his life in a secluded forest cabin in a country that was mostly old stone houses and gothic castles, the unfamiliarity of urban life did not perplex him, but rather what it lacked. Street magicians pulled coins out of kidsโ ears rather than waving a wand and arranging a light show, brooms were not used to fly but to sweep, and vehicles emitted unpleasant smoke rather than magic exhaust, just to name a few. Your ordinary wasโฆ far more ordinary than anyone was thinking.
And yet it is in these ordinary dreams that Silver finds you happiest. You bound over to him with two cups of ice cream in both hands and sit on the bench next to him. โHere you go~!โ You cock your head when Silver continues staring at you. โUm, Silverโฆ?โ
With a drowsy yawn, Silver plops his head into your lap. โPlease feed me,โ he says, closing his eyes as you pout down at him. โIโm tired.โ
โYou didnโt even attend club activities!โ You complain, yet you feed him a spoonful of ice cream.ย
With the taste of nothing cooling down on his tongue, he lets the idle buzz of the plaza become white noise as he focuses on the plush of your thighs and the gentle touch of your fingers combing through his hair. In this cityscape that you keep returning to, Silver is always met with new things that he would never have experienced. Holding your hand as you window shop, playing around with filters on your phone, basking in the warm sun after a dateโฆ He had too much on his plate as Malleusโ retainer and a student of Night Raven College.ย
He pries his eyes open, your silhouette against the sun coming into focus like an angelโs halo as you busy yourself with your ice cream. โ[Y. Name],โ he breathes out your name, fingers coming up to graze against your cheek. You look down at him and smile. โAre you truly happy?โ
โYou and Malleus keep asking the same things,โ you gripe. โDo I look sad to you?โ
โIโmโฆ just asking.โ He puts down his hand. โCome, [Y. Name], youโve had enough. Letโs wake up.โ
You stare at him.
โPlease, [Y. Name], wake up already.โ He hears his voice breaking. He pushes himself up and puts a steady hand on your lap, looking earnestly into your eyes. โWake up already. This isnโt real!โ
The white bird continues to fly around your head. He buries his face into your shoulder and lets out a broken sob.
โI donโt know what to do, [Y. Name],โ he whimpered into your clothes. โPlease tell me what Iโm doing wrong.โ
He feels your hand pat his back, comforting, yet the last thing he wants right now. โYouโre doing great, Silver.โ You tell him the words he wants to hear, like itโs his dream and not yours. โWhy are you crying? Youโre doing everything correctly.โ
โIโm not!โ He yells, pushing you back by the shoulders. He stares into your eyes, hoping, praying, that he finds even the faintest flicker of realization inside them. โIf I did do anything correctly, then you would want to stay with me!โ
How could his voice echo throughout a busy plaza? No one looks at you. You only continue to stare unblinkingly.
โWhen I found you amidst all those dreams, awake and feeling, I wasโ I was so happy,โ he sobbed. โI couldnโt take on the task of facing all those dreams alone. When you were there when the truth about my origins was revealed, I felt that, despite our brief meeting, there was no one else aside from my family that I would be happier to share my secret with. After all, youโฆ Youโฆ!โ His face twists as he tries to stop himself from crying, but his emotions continue to spill out like ink on paper. He delicately grasps both of your hands in his, but the way heโs squeezing you is desperate. โWhen you encouraged me to keep goingโฆ All those times when you held me by the hand and guided me forwardโฆ When we saw all those absurd dreamsโฆ Undergoing trial after trialโฆโ
He presses his forehead against your hands in a silent plea. โWas it not enough to make you want to stay with me?โ
The silence that ensues only further breaks Silverโs heart. He doesnโt know if youโre silent because you donโt fully comprehend the words that heโs saying in your dreamlike state or because that is your answer. He doesnโt dare look at you and only grips your hands tighter.
โEver since I saw you in that dreamโฆโ
As according to the fairytales.
โEver since you stayed by my side to weather the stormโฆโ
As how the perfect princes start their vow.
โDespite our brief knowingโฆโ
Because love does not discriminate.
โYou have always been the object of my thoughts and my adoration.โ
Because love is all-encompassing.
โEven If I know your kind heart would not say soโฆโ
Because you are love.
โI would draw my sword for you if you so decree it.โ
A heartfelt promise.
โI would do anything for you.โ
A romantic gesture.
โNo matter the cost.โ
Even if it goes against whatever morals his breaking heart has left.
โSo please,โ he whispers, lifting his head to you as he bares his tears and feelings to you, as vulnerable as the day he thought he lost everything. โPlease.โ
โJust come back to us already.โ
I love you.
But your eyes only crease in fondness, patting his silver hair like he isnโt falling apart in front of you. โOkay, Silver,โ you murmur, smiling. โLetโs go back home.โ
Silver bows his head and sobs, uncaring for the vacant stare the doll in front of him gives him.
โTheyโre not completely gone, Silver,โ Malleus purrs from your bed, stroking your sleeping self as his knight stares at them from the doorway. โDo you not trust my word? I donโt plan on keeping them in this state forever.โ
โLord Malleus, please. Stop these dreams already,โ Silver chokes on his words, stumbling into the room with his eyes on you the whole time. โOr at least, put me to sleep with the rest of them. I canโt bear it.โ
Malleus tuts pityingly, thumbing the boyโs pale cheeks as he studies his bloodshot expression. โLook at you, barely a wink of sleep. Itโs not my fault that your Unique Magic allows you to easily wake during your dreams. It is within my realm of power to put you back to sleep, butโฆโ Malleus has a thoughtful expression as he looks at your peaceful slumber. โYou always seem to be having a grand time before you decide to ruin everything for yourself.โ
โIโmโ Iโm not,โ Silver protests. To prove a point, Malleus stretches out his palm to portray a glowing pair of figures. Silver, with his hair tied back and in a formal suit, seems to stare at your figure with the most blissful expression as you twirl around the ballroom. Then, behind him in another flicker of green light, you, Silver, and Lilia are playing with cats just outside your home. Then, on his shoulder, Silver kisses your palm as he swears to protect you as your knight forever. Lastly, the green image of you both strolling hand in hand through racks of clothes dances in front of his eyes. โThatโsโโ
โItโs a dream, Silver,โ Malleus says, the green figures flickering out when he closes his palm. โA place where you can momentarily forget about your worries. Is this not what the Child of Man came here for? A good nightโs rest? They will wake the following morning feeling energized and refreshed, without knowing what transpired within their subconsciousness.โ He cocks his head at Silver. โAre you saying that you would not allow [Y. Name] this slight reprieve?โ
Silver shakes his head. โOfโ Of course not. But every dream they have of their original world, they fall deeper and deeper. If we do not lose them to the world on the other side of the Mirror, thenโฆโ He swallows the anxiety in his voice. โApologies. Iโฆ donโt mean to doubt you, my lord. It justโฆโ
โSpeak, Silver,โ Malleus urges him. โDo not think for a second that I donโt know what ails you. After all, they occupy my heart as well.โ
He bites his lip, feeling pathetically like a child in front of his liege as his eyes sting with tears. โI hate it,โ he admits. โI wish theyโd stop dreaming about that other world. I just wishโโ His breath hitches. โI just wish I had made them happy enough that theyโd forget everything and stay withโฆ us.โ
His voice trails off, ashamed of his own selfish inhibitions. โThis isnโt the sort of thing a knight should think, but Iโฆ Iโm scared. I donโt want to go hunting people like a mad beast like Sebek does, butโฆโ He buries his face in his hands. โIf that would make them happy enough to make them stayโฆโ
โYou would do anything,โ Malleus finishes for him. Silver, face still hidden, nods. โI can tell. It is nothing to be ashamed of, Silver. I fear that just may be the many mysteries of love.โ The prince smiles down at you, thumbing away the creases forming between your brows. โIt drives us to do things we wouldnโt do. I thought it was a hindrance, the knot in my chest that forms every time this Child of Man invited me, and yet now I understand. Love is the start of many miracles. That was true for you, for Lilia, for me, for Baur.โ He closes his eyes with a pleasant smile.
โThat is why, Silver, you must never let go of those that you love.โ Opening his eyes, he stares at the young boy with the eyes of a future king, glowing like the devil in the shadows of the room. โDo you understand? To make yourself happy. To make everyone around you happy.โ
โThrough love and for love, all things are possible.โ
All things are possibleโฆ
With a renewed purpose, Silver rubs away his tears and stands tall in front of his liege, nodding. โYes, Lord Malleus, I understand.โ
โFor love, I must do everything to make sure this love stays.โ
a/n ! ๐บ๐บ๐บ after a full year, we're finally done with the series!! this has been a long ride with +11k word celebrating the finale and hoo boy am i ready to move on to other projects! it has been fun writing my pervy twisted boys, but what turned out to be a self-indulgent project actually turned out to be a full-fleshed plot?! crazy. thanks for sticking with me for a full year everyone~! (also PLEASE PLEASE SILVER AND MALLEUS MAY BE SIMILAR BUT THEY ARE FUNDAMENTALLY DIFFERENT. the brothers are similar but they grieve different) idk why i did that im just a bit insecure that they might be too similar
unfortunately very true. Doing Better does not always mean never being upset or never being triggered or never having trouble. often Doing Better means experiencing those things and being able to keep going/cope healthily/move on. if youโre in a bubble with no sensation, if youโre numbing yourself out, thatโs not what recovering really is. it wonโt help you have a happier life itโll just make your world smaller and smaller until you canโt fit anywhere anymore. gotta learn to make peace with the hard stuff too, thatโs the only way to keep going
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Please, don't just share, donate. We haven't received any donations in a long time. We still need your support. Don't ignore us, help us and donate (please ๐).
Since Israel and the US have started bombing Iran, Israel has bombed Gaza almost every single day. Conditions in the strip grow even rockier than they were before. Food scarcity is a huge problem and the medical needs of the people are not being met. People are dying.
I am a father and a husband trying to keep my family alive in a place where survival has become a daily battle. I lost my leg, and even the simplest movement is painful for me. Yet I still try every day to find food for my wife and my child. Sometimes the only food we have comes from charity kitchens.
My child cries from hunger. My family sleeps in fear every night as the bombing continues. We are not asking for luxury, we are asking for the chance to live with dignity. My campaign and my story are real, and my only hope is that someone will hear our voice before it is too late.
Guys, Gaza is being forgottenโฆ but nothing has stopped.
People are still dying, hunger is still growing, and medicine is still nearly impossible to find.
We are living in conditions that get worse every single day. Basic needs have become a constant struggle, and survival itself feels uncertain.
My father is very sick and urgently needs treatment, but we are unable to provide what he needs in these harsh conditions.
We are doing everything we can, but we cannot do this alone anymore.
We urgently need your humanity and your support.
Please, if you can donate and share our story, do it now.
Dear Esteemed Donors,
My name is Ahmad, and I am a 16-year-old from northern Gazaโฆ Ahmad family needs your support for Support Ahmadโs Fami
๐๐๐ Fundraiser vetted (#167 by el-shab-hussein & nabulsi), But we created a new GoFundMe page because GoFundMe suspended the beneficiaryโs account on the platform, which put us in a very difficult situation.
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It's understandable, but still a fundamental critical error, to assume that just because she's not as openly weird as Homura "must loom ominously and be cryptic as fuck at all times" Akemi, that Madoka isn't also deeply weird.
According to the PSP game, which Urobuchi directly wrote, the reason Homura thinks stalking Madoka in order to protect her is okay is because Madoka used to do the same thing before Homura contracted. Despite having arguably less reason to worry.
Actually, come to think of it, that means that Homura, Madoka, and Mabayu, all have that trait, and Mabayu of all people is the one with the most reservations about it of the three.
Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
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Free to watch โข No registration required โข HD streaming
Guys, Gaza is being forgottenโฆ but nothing has stopped.
People are still dying, hunger is still growing, and medicine is still nearly impossible to find.
We are living in conditions that get worse every single day. Basic needs have become a constant struggle, and survival itself feels uncertain.
My father is very sick and urgently needs treatment, but we are unable to provide what he needs in these harsh conditions.
We are doing everything we can, but we cannot do this alone anymore.
We urgently need your humanity and your support.
Please, if you can donate and share our story, do it now.
Dear Esteemed Donors,
My name is Ahmad, and I am a 16-year-old from northern Gazaโฆ Ahmad family needs your support for Support Ahmadโs Fami
๐๐๐ Fundraiser vetted (#167 by el-shab-hussein & nabulsi), But we created a new GoFundMe page because GoFundMe suspended the beneficiaryโs account on the platform, which put us in a very difficult situation.