Writing???

Emptiness burns inside me

Blankness darkness, all I see

Want to feel oh something please

But all I get, my Disease

No control over anything

Stifled life is all I bring

Only thing that gives me depth

Slice an arm and hold my breath

What you call such bad self harm

And give the world such alarm

The only thing I control

Just some life to sooth my soul

Do I want to feel this way

My god I say nay nay nay

To be like every other man

To see the world with no plan

yes, my fam my love my fans

Need salvation in my hands

want it even worst than you

Watching my girlfriend leaving real hard

Scratching up my pick up truck

And making my life all but muck

This is my country song

Yes of course it is too long

But I have to say all the stuff

Like pickup trucks and much more fluff

So yes I made a country song

Of all the thing that have gone wrong

Because nothing in the country’s right

Don’t agree, well then bar fight

My coal mine job, just laid off

And my Jesus, just fell off his cross

NASCAR drivers losing place

And my trailers down a hole in space

This is my country song

Yes of course it is too long

But I have to say all the stuff

Like pickup trucks and much more fluff

So yes I made a country song

Of all the thing that have gone wrong

Because nothing in the country’s right

Don’t agree, well then bar fight

What am I to do with the loss of Mary Lou

We’ll see her at family reunions too

She my cousin sister wife after all

She still lives at mommas down the hall

How can all of life always be so bad

Nothings good and I’m always mad

Tipping cows now every night

Thanking GOD he made bud light

This is my country song

Yes of course it is too long

But I have to say all the stuff

Like pickup trucks and much more fluff

So yes I made a country song

Of all the thing that have gone wrong

Because nothing in the country’s right

Don’t agree, well then bar fight

So yes I made a country song

Of all the thing that have gone wrong

Because nothing in the country’s right

My life is but a status quo

Never better but never woe

so even keel and safe from pain

Protection be my greatest aim

Farthest edges I cannot claim

So Is my life just all to tame

If Happiness needs sad to go

In the end I’m my fiercest foe

By the time you find this

I will be dead

Of course not my body

Just in my head

Running the endless course

It has no end

Smothered eternity

Times not my friend

So gone will I now be

An empty shell

Until the joyous day

Transfer to hell

Frozen icicles in the holes

Where many should have souls

To climb upon and over so

Beat down others as they go

People there for them alone

For sure God, never to atone

No other person worth a gleam

Craving jackals oh they seem

For to only worry for your pan

Is what seems to make a man

Time is of no fearing thought

And the effort never just for naught

Just stretching arms seeking the day today

And the happy moments it brings our way

And if tomorrow grows anew

Bringing lives closer, us ever true

Then better for it will we be

allow for spreading roots like tree

Choose, you hold my heart in time

Decide in truth, yes, it is sublime

Then yours too I will keep safe

Never hoping, any joy to let to waste.

But know this true and most of all

Every day we get to fly not fall

safely in my heart and mind you are

Each day, each moment, both near and far.

DEMONS

I walk with demons every day.

I try but can’t keep them all at bay

They eat at my soul

And take their toll

They are my past oh on my back

Discouraging with every one attack

They are my Mother

And so many other

Stifle my courage, clutter my brain

Holding me back never to gain

Fearful to try

Afraid of goodbye

These demons along for the ride

Driving my brain zapping my pride

Haunting me

Past memory

Faster I run, but stop I must

For In myself I just must trust

Clear them

Don’t fear them

Learn from them

And bury them

Won’t let them lead me any more

Will get up and show them the exit door

I am not my past

Today is the last

Today is the day I am ....

Still afraid because Demons have my soul

Death does beckon with drooling gaze

To sit with him in carefree daze

And partake and freedom dined

And yet each turn i have declined

Its so lovely the so tempting offer

Yet each gift i deny by a sliver

To float upon the calmest sea

Close my eyes, be burden free

But i yet resist the pulling urge

Even though i wish this life to purge

I stay staring out under burdened brow

How often I miss step

Thinking so clearly

yet still in demirep

Again with horrid outcome, yep

Crashing spectacularly

Why have I yet not learned

Mouth to move not a wit

Keep from getting burned

From positive that always turned

The landing in verbal shit

Luckily at that fine point

then foot deep within my throat

Up as far as ankle joint

stupidity never to disappoint

I’m told I’m good

I’m grand

But I can’t see it

Not at all

Not from where I stand

How can they no see

The disease

The putridness

It makes up all

Brings me to my knees

I see all the damage

The flaws

Insurmountable

Reasons

that should give all pause

So lies must it be

What all see

What they say

For If not from them

Then falseness be from me

Ice storms dance through the air

Leaving crystal prisms on the withered limbs

And gusts Igniting wind chimes

Calls from the forests frost

And gusts Igniting wind chimes

Calls from the forests sing

Menagerie of dancing lights

Brings forth the breaking day

So though the storm that comes at night

Might break a branch or two

Never will it last so long

And beauty forces loving new

That beauty can’t force through

What’s the difference between sex and make love

Sex is action, pure of lust, want, taking of

It is void, but for taking pleasure from

Needing release, is all that’s cared by some

recreational screams of lord above

Love though contains much more in the end

gives more back than the effort that you spend

Deep in feeling, desperate to hear them moan

wanting others pleasure more than have own

Oneness of being more than just a friend

Time is needed for what wants and needs to feed

Truth, talking honestly that must take seed

For deepest feelings grab and hold the soul

To get all this you must pay times light toll

Little price for a joy that’s great indeed

My being

was defined by you

And it crumbled

As the end of days ensue

Faltering

Barely breathing through

I realized

I never held myself for true

So stronger

now finding myself anew

And even with the loss

I suppose I owe thank you too

Time, it has raped me, Take my innocents, Abused my sole

It has taken that once fine vestige and made it a troll

Rusted my brain so that the wheels turn slow

Ground my joints to dust so pain is what I know

Yet oddly I cherish now every tick tock of my clock

For I look with fondness on you as I take my life's stock

I know I have now less of you then years ago

But faster and faster through my hands you seem to flow

And though on my person you have taken such a toll

I fear so much the loss of you, and laying in my hole

Let me guide you by my love, you said

As i followed you, though hell

Blinded by the sight of you

I couldn’t tell how far in depth we dwell

And here you left me, hypnotized

Slowly to come to

Gone you were to do your deed

To gather souls anew

DEMONS

I walk with demons every day.

I try but can’t keep them at bay

They eat at my soul

Taking their toll<br>

They are my past on my back

Discouraging with every attack

They are my Mother

And many other

Stifle my courage, clutter my brain

Holding me back never to gain

Fearful to try

Afraid of goodbye

These demons along for the ride

Driving my brain zapping my pride

Haunting me

Past memory

Faster I run, but stop I must

For In myself I must trust

Clear them

Don’t fear them

Learn from them

And bury them

Won’t let them lead any more

Will get up and show them the door

I am not my past

Today is the last

Today is the day that I am

Still afraid because Demons have my soul