safe as life

One of my students came up to me before World started and begged to be excused from presenting his project. He said there was no way he’d be able to do it. I told him what I tell everyone: that I wanted him to at least try, and I was going to make it as easy as I possibly could. 

I started class by explaining the purpose of the presentations (everyone is sharing a piece of modern African history, and if we put the pieces together we can understand what’s happening today). Then I reminded them that it wasn’t a “best presenter” competition, and it was okay if they were nervous or didn’t like public speaking. I said they could bring a friend up with them to click their slides/hold their posters/be moral support. And I ended with, “I’m not looking to make you miserable and give you bad grades. I want to do whatever is going to help you succeed, and I am going to be so proud of you if you come up here and do your best.” 

And that boy who’d begged not to present? First, he got up and clicked slides for one of his friends. Then he and another student acted out the information a third student presented. And then he presented his own project- with his friends acting out his information, and breaking into a celebratory dance party when he finished. He positively beamed when I told him, “I knew you could do it.” 

And everyone else did it, too. Plus, I had a deal with them: in exchange for presenting, they could make me do something I find scary, so they had me sing for them at the end of class.

We’re all in this together.

You’re not allowed to die in this classroom

If you yeet any of the lab equipment across the room, you will be yeeted to the principal’s office

[on how old I am]: I lost count after a few thousand years

whenever they do an online lab: this is better than fortnite isn’t it

[to a student, upon realizing they completed their practice problems all wrong]: that’s a rip in the chat

If it wasn’t for strong force holding your atoms together your matter would disintegrate away like when Thanos snapped his fingers

In the event that the sun does blow up, the good thing is light takes seven minutes to travel from the sun so you wouldn’t see the explosion coming to incinerate you

[to two students who love to get under each other’s skin]: this is your lane (I traced a circle around their desk) and that is yours (as I traced a circle around their desk) stay in them

You’d probably turn into spaghetti if you went into a black hole but it wouldn’t be the edible kind

[when checking in on groups] is everything gucci