yeah

unironically, one of my favourite pieces of horror writing is victor hugo’s description of an octopus

[ID: photo of a book. Some of the text has been highlighted. It says “It is a pneumatic machine that attacks you. You are dealing with a footed void. Neither claw thrusts nor tooth bites, but an unspeakable scarification. A bit is formidable, but less so than such suction. The claw is nothing compared to the sucker. The claw, that’s the beast that enters your flesh; the sucker, that’s you yourself who enters into the beast. Your muscles swell, your fibres twist, your skin bursts beneath this unworldly force, your blood spurts and frightfully mixes with the mollusks’ lymph. The beast is superimposed upon you by its thousand vile mouths; the hydra is incorporated in the man; the man is amalgamated with the hydra. The two make one. This dream is upon you. The tiger can only devour you; the octopus, what horror, breathes you in! It draws you toward itself and into itself, and, bound, stuck, powerless, you slowly feel yourself emptied out within that horrendous sack, that monster. Beyond the terror of being eaten alive is the ineffability of being drunk alive.” End ID]

#this fully rules #like victor my dude octopi absolutely dont do this but this rules supremely

Glad to see we’re all in agreement that cats talk like disparaged victorian children

I am so incredibly glad we finally moved on from "i can has". Cats are clearly smart enough for advanced sentence structure and dumb enough to draw entirely incorrect conclusions about what they're talking about.

Can haz snackytreat

you're absolutely correct it was

why are you calling him green shrek?? shrek is already green??

No one is regular, everyone is extraordinary

in grade 6 and every time we had a movie day or class party id ask my mom for a can of doctor pepper but i had to keep it in my backpack and it always got shaken up and would explode when i opened it bcus we all know dr pepper has much more chaos inside the can than any other soda and anyways my whole class instinctively knew every time that my doctor pepper would explode and we'd have to pause the movie and clean it up and id usually be covered in dr pepper for the rest of the day and be super embarrassed and this happened to me about twelve times throughout the year. you might be wondering why i couldnt keep my dr pepper in my locker until we watched the movie and its because i didnt have a locker in grade six after i left a piece of pumpkin pie that my teacher gave me in there for a month and it rotted and molded so bad and there were maggots everywhere so one day i locked the locker and refused to open it ever again so for a whole year i carried all my stuff around because i was afraid to go to admin and tell them about my maggot pie because someone started a rumor that if the principle figured out you did something bad she would lock you down in the basement storage room that was infamous for having a giant rat that lived inside of it and i was afraid of rats after seeing ratatouille because i thought a rat might climb inside my hair and start controlling me and force me to do things i didnt want to do like make soup

lyrical genius