⦻ Swampbeard ⦻

basketball dracula isn't real dude he can't-- *sudden squeaking noises from the shadows*

*two pool toys having sex tumble by in the wind* oh thank god

*thunderous slam dunk noise*

I bring a real 'actually people who are pregnant do deserve some special consideration because they are effectively at least temporarily disabled if not permanently after some complications' vibe to the party that a lot of people don't seem to like

let the bodies hit the floor is such a scary song. usually bodies hitting the floor isn’t a good thing but this guy wants it to happen anyway.

and yet he insists there’s nothing wrong with him. haunting

every $30 purchase is like a razor sharp arrow stuck firmly in my muscular wearwolf back

you literally have to unironically listen to some shit like party rock anthem so you don’t kill yourself

sorry i accidentally called you "my victim" when someone asked about our relationship status. it will happen again.

Hey staff I don’t want to fuckingbe forced to interact with every ad that takes up the entire screen and makes it impossible to scroll without opening some random fucking ad link. I’m gonna kill myself if you don’t figure it out

staying silly is all i got left like i got no money no prospects i’m a burden to my parents and i’m frightened