Scarab's Bug Hotel 🐞 🐛 🐜

Unfortunate circumstances regarding my car. Long story short, I will need to replace it, but I can't cover it on my own.

I will set up something soon to give back to everybody who has supported me.

Thank you.

a lot of people are giving examples in the notes of things they just find annoying like not using headphones in public, but OP is talking about actual literal scripts of things to say in awkward situations

if you have a date or two with someone and you don't see a relationship developing? most millennials / gen Zers just end up ghosting. but a social script that might have been taught and rehearsed in the past could be:

"I really appreciated getting dinner with you the other night and I enjoyed your company, but I'm afraid I didn't feel a spark. I wish you the best, and hope you find that special someone!"

Remember things about your friends! Ask people about their weekends, hobbies, holidays, studies, and jobs! Listen for the concerns people have and what they are working on! Draw connections between one person and another to get the ball rolling. "Oh, Maura, you just got your first cat! You should talk to Felix, he used to work at a rescue. Felix, please tell Maura all the new-cat-guardian pointers."

"Bill, Sheila, Xan, this is my friend Kale. Kale is really into Star Trek, Bill you and them should talk about it!"

If you're looking for a manual on these sorts of things; social etiquette, social scripts, how to handle difficult and/or awkward social situations, etc. then I highly recommend picking up any book by Miss Manners. Her books really are the gold standard for learning the types of skills this post is talking about. I should also mention that Miss Manners is witty and hilarious so her books are also fun to read.

The best book by Miss Manners to get started with would be Miss Manner's Guide to Excruciatingly Correct Behavior. This one is probably the best starting point because it gives the best overview of all the basics.

Sorry @darlingdear but I couldn't let this stay in the tags.

I say this as someone who is neurodivergent had grew up very socially awkward, but recently I find the "screw small talk, I wanna get to know the REAL you" attitude to be pretentious as well as a demonstration of a lack of boundaries.

But also, I think a lot of people who have this attitude don't actually really know what does qualify as small talk. The definition of small talk is any topic that's of no real consequence and includes topics like food, pets, sports, music, whatever show you're currently streaming, whatever book you're currently reading, and yes, the weather. A lot of people who have this "I hate small talk / I don't do small talk" attitude probably think it's only reciting a bunch of secret scripts about the weather, and don't realize how much they engage in small talk whenever they talk about their pets or their favorite foods or the really cool show they're watching right now.

Small talk is a way of sounding out a person’s attitudes. It’s about finding out if they’re a rabid asshole or someone you want to spend more time with.

I had a professor who got angry at a group of (mostly women), from five countries, all of whom met yesterday, for talking about daytime TV. He basically insulted us and called us shallow.

Except that's completely wrong.

The myth stems from Forstater v CGD Europe and Others in 2022. Forstater (extremely notorious and influential transphobe currently working in the upper ranks of hate group Sex Matters) alleged that she was discriminated against during an employment tribunal because she believes trans women aren't women. The Equality and Human Rights Commission (the national human rights institution of the UK) stepped in to state that its interpretation of the EA2010's protected characteristic of religion or belief included that "gender critical" belief.

This then naturally got picked up by the anti-trans contingent as a clarion call that they were welcome and noble and right and their feelings mattered.

...but that's completely contradictory to what the EHRC itself said just 2 years earlier. And reaffirmed a year later in 2023.

Above is a fragment from the dossier of information that the EHRC, under now-Baroness and known anti-trans stooge Kishwer Falkner, published regarding the definitions of "religion or belief". It even directly cites racism as an example of an unprotected belief that infringes on the rights of others, of which modern transphobic rhetoric is functionally a palette swap (yes there's a reason for that).

Specifically, in order for a belief to be considered part of the protected characteristic, it needs to meet a few conditions. It must:

be genuinely held and more than an opinion

cogent and serious

apply to an important aspect of human life or behaviour

worthy of respect in a democratic society

not affect other people's fundamental rights

There's a few other details on that list that could be dubiously squabbled over but that last one is absolutely key because whilst you're allowed to hold asshole ideas about people, you are not allowed to be an asshole to people. Once you use it to justify ejecting people from restrooms and changing areas, or to deny them healthcare, it fails to leave other people well enough alone. Once you start campaigning, lobbying, and what-not it is no longer just a private belief, it is a political objective to strip others of their rights.

Scientists invented a fake disease. AI told people it was real: Nature.com