Read It and Wow 2

I'm sorry, Ms. Johnson, I think a bird took a shit in my ear or something.

This bat was good enough to kill Glenn! Bust his head wide open! By hell, it's good enough to bust your ass wide open knowin' I'm goin' to make it that damn noggin that you call a head!

PARDON THE FREEEEEENCH! I HATE YOU!

TALK IN ENGLISH!

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Just because I'm older doesn't mean I've changed. I'm still the same guy. Although, I did just get offered a big-budget Hollywood talk show!

FUCK THE FURNITURE! WHERE'S THE BATHROOM?!

It started in the summer of '93. You used to come to my house and visit me. I'd let you play with Barbies and then we'd bake cookies. And then you came over on Halloween. I was Mary-Kate and you were Ashley. That Christmas, I got you posters of J.T.T. I think I crossed the line. You got too close to me. You even helped me organize my bachelorette party. You were my best friend. With me every day. And now they're gonna say I was the one that turned you gay. The one that turned you gay. The ooooooone. The ooooooo-one. The ooooooo-one. The one that turned you gay. Gonna get some strippers to come over tonight. Yeah! Maybe big fake boobies will change your mind. Yeah! I'm gonna burn all of your gay CDs. Yeah! I hope you start liking vajeen. "Baby One More Time" used to be our jam. How was I supposed to know it made you love a man? You always kicked my ass when we would color eggs. We both cried when Ruben won 'cause we were both Clay-mates. I'm the one that turned you gay. The ooooooone. The ooooooo-one. The ooooooo-one. The one that turned you gay.