Hopeoetic

Stuck and unable to move, paralyzed in the same position over and over again.

Unable to breathe, unable to think and unable to feel.

Numb from all the pain and the sadness, her heart gave out refusing to feel anymore.

Her lungs struggled for air, yet it only seemed to fill up with water as she drowned.

Drowning in her own ocean of nightmares, she couldn’t find a single life boat.

She was on her own.

She’d always been the one to help people stay afloat, letting herself sink deeper in the water.

She was sinking in her own self destructive thoughts, her imperfections and flaws as they kept clawing at her mind.

Making themselves known and present in every mirror, every picture, she deemed herself as the ugliest creature of all.

She was used to drowning by now, always managing to rise somehow. Yet this time it was different.

The water was deeper, darker, colder.

She had weights tying her down, bringing her closer to the bottom, all the way down to what she feared the most.

Her own hell.

I wish I could still brush your furry head

I wish I could hug you like there’s no more tomorrow

I wish I could touch your paws and tickle your stomach until you relax

I wish I could turn back time and spoil you with everything and anything you like.

And I wish I could see you now wagging your tail and running towards me.

I just can’t stop looking at the wooden bed you used to lie (which is your favorite and comfiest place) , at the blanket and the towel we used to cover your body after we bathe you

I cannot stop looking at the place where mum buried you

I wish I could see you at the end of the rainbow where wonderland is found. I love you my Batty doggo ❤️ 😢☹️