mood after Nintendo Direct:
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KIROKAZE
macklin celebrini has autism
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izzy's playlists!
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"I'm Dorothy Gale from Kansas"
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h

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@itsmomne
mood after Nintendo Direct:

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Nintendo Direct/Conference was super cool nâ nice but⌠ No Animal Crossing
Every Animal Crossing fan right now
THE END OF AN ERA
Square Enixâs E3 conference was only 30 minutesâŚ

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Accurate
this roast is so good it reached into the future and dragged movies that werenât even in development yet
see also: forgetting to brush it out and accidentally fast-forwarding to my future when I am old with grey hairÂ
âBut Nintendo whereâs Animal Crossing on the Switch???â
Nintendo:
*sobs*
I was out with a friend tonight doing one of my fave things. Reading the backs of romance novels aloud. Found this gem.
This is honestly the most wild sounding romance novel I have ever seen and thought it might brighten someoneâs day.
OK FOR THOSE OF YOU WHO DONâT REALIZE, SANDRA HILL IS THE WOMAN WHO WROTE âROUGH AMD READYâ ANOTHER EROTIC VIKING NOVEL. SOME OF THE MORE MEMORABLE QUOTES BEING:
âAs Hildaâs buttermilk bosoms squished up against his granite abs, Torolf almost had a dick aneurysm.â
âTorolf entered her like she was a lottery. His engorged pecker pushed inside her and she felt fulfilled with sexual fulfillment.â
âHer body was like a beautiful flower that was opening and somebody was pushing their dick inside it.â
YOU DO NOT KNOW HOW MANY PEOPLE I HAVE READ THIS TO AT COLLEGE. ONE GUY COMPLETELY LOST IT FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES AFTER HEARING THE PHRASE âDICK ANEURYSM.â
Yo. This woman is published.
She wrote âdick aneurysmâ. That happened.
Follow your dreams.
Lucipires (demon vampires) sneople (snake people)
I HAVE QUESTIONS
There are tears running down my face I am laughing so hard but I want to read these so bad
From now on instead of orgasm Iâm gonna think âdick aneurysmâ and of course because itâs me my brain is gonna shorten it to âdickeurysmâ someone help me
I⌠I just⌠canâtâŚ.
His name is Cnut....

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m y s t e r yÂ
Mammals both produce milk and have hair. Ergo, a coconut is a mammal.
I know youâre being facetious, but this is an actual issue with morphology-based phylogeny.
*leans over and whispers to person beside me* what are they talking about
*leans over and whispers back* Â Human ability to quantify and categorize natural phenomena is sketchy at best and wildly misleading at worst
consider the coconut
this reminds me of that time Plato defined humans as âfeatherless bipedsâ and Diogenes ran in with a plucked chicken screaming âBEHOLD A MAN!â
i love how you say âit reminds me of that timeâ like you were there.
listen if an immortal feels brave and supported enough to come out we should respect them
This post is a journey
1 Reblog = 1 Respect
I maintain that humans started attempting classify animals, and some god or another made the platypus, and is still laughing.
Zeus: *hits joint* okay so like. Itâs gonna have a duck bill right. But an otter body okay? And then a beaver tail. Itâs a mammal. But. It lays eggs!
Hades: wait wait dude. Give it. Give it poison. Make it poisonous
Athena: You mean venomous, and make sure the eggs have both reptile and bird traits. Hermes: *takes the joint* Give it extra senses. Poseidon: It should be aquatic.
I MEAN whereâs the lie
Demeter: ⌠And where exactly do you expect me to put this? Everyone: Australia.
Reblogging for that last exchange.
@shanastoryteller
(sorry)
by Chiliktol
the intention of those hands is like when cowboys do that twirly thing with pistols

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Two-handed sword that belonged to the Bavarian Prince-Elector Maximilian II, 1689.
Source: https://imgur.com/fnRPbW1
What stat requirements do you need to use it
That's clearly a strength build weapon
Relatable. (via SparkyROAR)
My middle child