kyaaderotica

Inspired by my str8 crush...

Max back in the glory days of NC's Restaurant. Inexpensive, excellent food in infamous amounts that really stuck to one’s ribs. Imagine three young children that could barely focus on anything but video games, much less being totally bored in a restaurant while their early-30’s daddy was still packing around his empathy weight from his wife’s most recent pregnancy, and even though it was now tighter than hell, he still wore the shirt his mother-in-law had given him “PLEASE FEED THE PAPA BEAR”. Max was always first to finish at any meal, always looking around for more with that “you gonna eat that?” question in his blue eyes. Of course, he’d already inhaled half of the nachos appetizer, his half-pound burger platter, and washed it all down his gullet with hedonistic bucketfuls of Mountain Dew. The young Papa Bear leaned back in his seat to give his Thanksgiving-tested-and-proven stomach all the space it needed to swell as he glanced around and took stock of the neglected platters of food sitting in front of each of his fidgeting children. 

His eldest son Jake reached over and pushed a bass-toned belch out of his father’s firm round belly. “Aren’t you going to eat your burger?” Papa Bear inquired of the bored little boy. “Well, we might have to pack it up and take it home,” he joked. 

“No, daddy. Why don’t you eat it?” 

Barely missing a beat, the father’s empty plate was exchanged for a nearly full one, and despite the fact that Papa Bear already had more than an average person’s meal inside his gut, he happily continued eating with impressive efficiency. Looking through admiring eyes from across the table at her growing daddy, Papa Bear’s one and only daughter smiled with glee as she watched him gorge himself. Belly even bigger and t-shirt smooth and stretched tight, Papa Bear lazily rolled back in his seat again for another rest and a big muffled burp.  The ledge on top of his fat round bulge had become more pronounced, and his middle sported much more rounded sides after polishing off Jake's meal, and Max was starting to feel the effects of his typical gluttony. “Ooffff.. I think I might be getting… full!”

It was hard to mistake Max's advanced size from any direction, and other daddy types,  boyfriends, and food-pushing female types began to take notice of his adept gluttony.

“More, Daddy?” offered Megan from across the table with a sweet little smile. Jake thumped Papa Bear’s swollen belly, sounding it out like a very large ripe watermelon. “Hee hee yeah, Megan. Feed the Papa Bear!” Max tried to suck in his stomach to no avail as a young couple across the way stared while Jake smacked his expanding gut. "Pop’s belly is getting big!!” 

Unfazed by his midsection’s outbound progress, Max stuffed in Megan's more-than-generous pile of chicken fingers and onion rings as his ample belly got bigger and bigger. “Uh-oh… I’m getting so … full!” Papa Bear batted his eyelashes and groaned as he felt the skin on his stomach stretch taut and begin to itch. Max now appeared to have swallowed a beach ball and the resultant heft jutted out distantly under his plump pecs. More eyes were on Max's Buddha-like presence with reactions ranging from amusement to worry. A younger daddy type with a full round gut and a container of leftovers in one hand nodded at Max as he wobbled his way out after he’d given up finishing his one kid’s meal on top of his and part of his wife’s.  

Max's middle child Cyrus got up from his chair, gathered up his plate, and walked around the back of his father’s seat to take the side opposite Jake. The mischievous little boy slapped Papa Bear’s belly where it bulged out farthest. “Ooof!!” Max emitted after being surprised; releasing a string of belches as Cyrus kept getting in some well-placed slaps on his father’s enormously full belly. Cyrus proudly looked at Jake, “I’m making room so the rest of my hamburger will fit in daddy’s belly!” 

Jake smiled at his younger brother, “…but will it fit?! Daddy is already so big, though.” 

Cyrus was committed though, “We have to fatten Daddy up like Grandma does on Sundays!” And not too long after deciding to force-feed his Papa Bear one last dinner plateful, he succeeded. Somehow, Cyrus had pushed the remainder of his near-adult-sized burger into his painfully full supersized father and then dared pour the rest of a large glass of Mountain Dew down his gullet to clear his palate. Max sat there with a dazed look in his sleepy blue eyes as he arched his back as much as possible to stretch his impressively round and most swollen gut. Jake and Cyrus watched their overfull Papa Bear’s facial expressions as they rubbed his solid round sphere, and the boys were somewhat frustrated that they couldn’t push in on their father’s overloaded stomach — it was simply an immovable object. 

Their regular waiter came over, surveyed the size of Max's colossal swollen belly, and started picking up the dishes. “Well, we’re all members of the clean plate club, aren’t we?” he said, staring at over-overfed daddy’s spherical gut after having watched his unchecked gluttony from a distance, “did we save any room for dessert?” he queried marveling at the sheer size and perfectly rotund ball of fattened flesh. “Or are you maybe just a burger past the bursting point?”

“There’s always room for pie!” Megan exclaimed, remembering her daddy’s favorite saying after stuffing himself immobile at utterly indulgent holiday meals. 

“There might not always be,” cautioned Mary, who sat directly across from her beloved husband thinking back on the timeline of his hundred pound weight gain. Mary couldn’t remember the last time Max's stomach was so immense, and she was dumbfounded by how round he was on the sides. He literally looked blown up like a big balloon. “Daddy’s belly looks like it’s gonna POP!”

The waiter chuckled under his breath as he watched Max squirm a bit with such a weighty decision. “Well, you know you want a nice big piece of homemade apple pie topped with a generous scoop of vanilla ice cream… I mean, you totally earned it — clean plates club and all…”

After the waiter left, Max let out another man-sized belch, quickly covering his mouth once he realized how loud it must have been from the looks he received from the nearby tables. “I’m stuffffff-ffff-ffffed,” Max managed to get out, “Daddy ate too much — way too much. Again. You guys are gonna have to roll me to the car.” The kids giggled as they watched Papa Bear rub his mountainous belly in circles. 

Cyrus took to slapping his Papa Bear’s stomach again. “Fat Dad!” 

Megan came over and put her arms around as much of her Daddy’s belly as she could and gave the top of it a sweet little kiss. Giving her Papa Bear a break from Cyrus' nonstop slapping, she rested her little chin on top of his belly ledge and hugged him as tightly as she could before going back to her seat.

The waiter appeared with the threatened dessert and Max tried to wave him off before being assured that it was complimentary. “Enjoy!” The waiter smiled and poked Max's solid stomach right under his spread rib cage. “It’s the perfect topping for tonight’s big ol’ bellyful.”

Mary looked back and forth at the size of the piece of pie with the giant scoop of ice cream and her husband’s immense sphere full of dinners. “Do you really think that is going to fit in your belly? I can tell from over here that you’re on overload now!”

“I know,” Max admitted, swallowing hard to keep all of the food and Mountain Dew down, and scratching his belly ball up the middle. “But it looks so damn yummy!” Max was doomed to attempt the warm pie and melting ice cream treat. “Well, okay,” Mary said, “don’t POP!”

Max tried to lean forward a bit to get at his dessert, but his gut had swollen too much after the third child had stuffed in his unwanted meal. He lifted up the dessert plate, realized that it wasn’t just a big portion that it was also pretty heavy, and started spooning it into his mouth — salivating all the time. 

Bound and determined to finish the whole thing, Max grunted and groaned as his stomach maxed out under his painfully pushed-out ribs. The waiter returned with the check and whistled at the size of Max's completely distended belly. Poking Max twice where he bulged the most, almost testing to see if he’d burst, the waiter smiled and said, “Woof… Papa Bear got himself one biiiiig full belly now!”

The waiter helped shift the table so that Max didn’t have to try to push his chair back too far to get up after his utterly overindulgent collection of meals. Taking probably a whole minute, Max thanked all of the squats he’d done in the gym and pressed himself forward and up off of his chair. He tugged at the hem of his Papa Bear t-shirt to smooth out the line and have the bottom of the shirt hang off the farthest circumference, and make sure that people couldn’t tell that his shorts were unbuttoned. When he turned to head toward the door, the heft of his protruding overstuffed belly caused him to temporarily lose his balance. Quickly recovering once he realized what had happened, Max began to wobble his way to the door after his family had lined up like ducks in front of him. With his thick muscled arms out and swinging gently by his sides, Max tried to suck in his enormous gut, but it was simply more than he could manage. 

Max went up to pay the bill, and the host was most happy to see him up close and personal after watching him enjoy his lengthy dinner with his family. “And how was everything, sir?”

Back in May, I found the girlfriend’s facial expression to be perfect as her hunky boyfriend went to get up out of their Dairy Queen booth after polishing off a medium cone as well as a small Blizzard. He paused to look down at the gapping buttons on his painted-on flannel shirt, wondering if they were going to pop off if he moved or breathed in just the wrong way (or right way, depending on how you view such events). Her face essentially communicated amusement and satisfaction in acknowledgment of his face’s surprise and wonder. It’s like she could also see something in his future that he couldn’t quite comprehend.

Five months later, I got to see that young couple again in Dairy Queen. I got to see them fit themselves in the booth across from me as regular patrons seem to have their favorite dining spots, and there was no mistaking that they had grown in their relationship. There was no doubt that she’d put on weight, but her boyfriend looked like he had the most filling summer ever. His beard was a little longer, cheeks were a little plumper, and it was like he’d sat on a tire pump and been blown up like a balloon. His shirt was again very tight around his belly, but there were no buttons being threatened this time. His light blue pullover was so tight that I could make out his belly button. I would have guessed that he put on thirty quality pounds, and very few of them from gym workouts.

I was almost done with my combo meal by the time they showed up with her 6-piece chicken strip meal and his triple Stackburger combo, so I had to slow down to catch the entire show. He gobbled at a good pace, finishing his tasty tall burger, fries, and two regular cheeseburgers in record hungry boyfriend time, weaving in the two chicken strips that she offered him out of her lunch. When he sucked his Coke dry, she got up to refill it for him. He leaned back a little in his seat and relaxed his belly to the point where it really got nice and round. He let out a little burp and started to look around the room, just in time to catch my admiring gaze. “How’s it goin’ today?” I inquired in as natural tone as I could muster. 

“Great,” he answered and then doled out each word like passing out candy on Halloween, “eatin’ too much again.” Then he patted his round belly and burped.

“Hey, you got nothin’ to worry about. It’s easy to do here. I always leave here satisfied but always wanting more.”

Returning with a refilled Coke, she had that same amused and satisfied look on her slightly chubbier face, and he just sat there with a smile on his face as he muffled a deep belch. She pushed what remained of her fries and Texas Toast in his direction and he was obliged to polish them off with ease. His eyes darted over my direction as he sucked on his soda and ran his free hand down the front of his upsized rounder belly. A mischievous smirk appeared on her face as she scooted her ass forward and leaned into the table before reaching her hand across to poke him right in his swollen belly. 

“Time for dessert!” was all she said as she got up to go back to the front counter. 

He glanced at me a couple times while he fiddled with his phone and sucked on his second medium Coke. When she came back, she had two large Blizzards and his eyes grew large. Slurping and burping, he managed to finish the entire thing. His stomach was so swollen that it jutted right out under his pushed-apart rib cage in a taut sphere. She took another shot at his very plump belly with her index finger, poking around at several different spots this time rather than trying to test one particular area. “How about that? It did fit in that belly!”

Then she picked up his soda cup, shook it to find it empty, and got him yet another refill. She hadn’t quite finished her Blizzard, so she handed the remainder of it over to him.

“Oooff,” he managed as he looked down at his lunch-stuffed gut and then looked over at me with the most gloriously pained expression. “My belly is gonna POP!”

“I have to admit that it does kinda look like you’re gonna explode, but you young guys will just keep stretching to get the job done. You’re going to be just fine by the time she makes you Sunday dinner, but I think you’re going to have to unbutton your jeans before you sit down for another feeding.”

The girlfriend reappeared somewhere during my mention of him unbuttoning his jeans and smirked again. “Hello there,” she said to me as she giggled at her boyfriend. “Don’t you worry, honey, I’m gonna rub your belly when we get in the truck.”

“You guys have fun tonight!” I said, watching him try to escape their booth in his advanced pregnant state. “Just over a month until Thanksgiving,” I directed toward her, “at this rate, he’s going to be ready to plow through a couple meals without even getting close to splittin’ down the middle like a caterpillar. You’re rocking it!”

1. I promise to eat all I want, whatever I want, whenever I want, wherever I want.

2. I will gorge myself to cheer myself up when I'm sad.

3. I will gorge myself for the sheer joy of it when I’m happy.

4. I will push myself to eat even more when I think my belly is full.

5. My appetite will become greedier allowing me to eat even more.

6. I will rejoice with good humor when people criticize my appetite for they confirm my confidence.

7. My belly will fatten and grow to proudly proclaim my dedication.

8. I will gain weight and not be ashamed; instead, I will feast more in celebration.

9. I will rejoice when people criticize my weight for they validate my progress.

Prepare Get the balance right! Although you’ll need to start on an empty stomach to eat as much as possible, don’t be ravenously hungry.  If you’re starving, you’ll eat too quickly and not properly pace yourself.

Avoid fasting. Follow your regular meal schedule and stop eating five hours before the main event.

Exercising earlier in the day is also a good idea, especially if you’ve eaten a breakfast meal.  Physical activity stimulates the appetite.  Taking a short, brisk walk helps move food through your digestive system and empty out your stomach in preparation.

Finally, it's easier to eat a lot if you're relaxed. So immediately before the meal, take some deep breaths, listen to some pleasant music, think calm thoughts, and avoid anything confrontational or stressful.

Now’s a good time to weigh yourself and measure around your belly.  You’re going to want some data from which to later gauge your success.

Yellowstone, MT - Park officials have confirmed that an adult male black bear has now exploded after devouring a 380 pound visitor from New York state.  The meal that broke the bear’s belly came in the form of Brock Tippascalli, an immensely overfed 23 year old man was reportedly on an extended cross-country camping trip on his way to Porkland.  Tippascalli was attending a special barbecue eating event put on by a local “Make America Gain Again” supporter group when the gluttonously unfortunate attack occurred.  

Measured between 68” and 70” around his massive gut two hours before the incident, Tippascalli had been forcibly stuffed for hours with an array of grilled meats, side dishes, desserts, and locally brewed beers.  Two “helper feeders” and a trained belly masseur, witnesses to the attack, estimated his weight near 400 pounds as the victim meal became unable to move following an protracted cheesecake and donut feeding.

Individuals’ efforts to roll the enormously overstuffed Tippascalli away from the campsite were partially successful in that they had avoided sharp sticks and rocks that would have popped the tight-skinned belly, but were eventually thwarted by an uphill grade.

“We’d been able to shift Brock around on the pic-a-nic bench sometime after his second grill-ful of burgers, so he could sit with his thighs spread wide and his swollen belly bulging out without hitting the table,” said Joe Enteman, “we thought we were home free when we pushed him over onto his jumbo gut and the magnificent fleshball didn’t immediately burst -- but he was simply too heavy for us to roll any distance up that hill.”

Barbecue participants endeavored to shoo the hungry bear away from the helpless Tippascalli, who had been marooned on his back like a giant turtle.  The bear went for Tippascalli’s meaty arms, extraordinarily thick thighs, and plumped-up ass first, devouring the deliciously marbled meat like it were the sole diner at an ursine Thanksgiving. Not able to stop, the gluttonous bear then elected to move on to gobble Tippascalli’s epically stuffed belly.  

“The bear was obviously misbehaving and had a craving for a tasty tourist,” commented Bob Chefferly.  

Filled with hundreds of pounds of meat, the black bear became comically marooned on top of its perilously overstretched stomach.  The greedy bear’s gut continued to swell for over ten minutes, reportedly due to the quantity of cheesecake that had been inside Tippascalli’s ‘stuffing ball’, lifting the bear’s paws completely off the ground.  

Animal Control was able to rescue the bear from the site and had planned to put the bear on a strict “no tourists larger than 250 pounds” diet; however, the bear exploded in the transport vehicle on the way to a lower-calorie part of the park.

Found Footage of the Great American Beer Gut