be gay do crimes

I have a jar at home that has my grandpa's smithereens

2000-2002 Saturn SL1

its shorts actualy

can someone please please make his tail wag thank you

screw bedtime 😈😈 tonight we are staying up until 9pm

i created a new type of dog called a slunge

are they a good slunge?

i bred them to have a wicked and sinful nature

i say yay and yippee a lot but i mean it. i always mean it. *looks into the distance pensively*

giving increasingly loud sighs as I wait for my crush to ask "what's wrong?" so I can say I'm in a state of depression unless I can touch someone's boobs with no bra

I stop once I start getting short of breath

[Your crush, on the phone to someone unseen] Yeah I think she needs to be put down, her breathing-- yeah I know it can be a problem for her breed, but it's getting really bad.

I'M NOT A DOG??????

[clearly less interested now] Oh.

wait! au au

[walking over the distant horizon, towards the West]

AU AU!!! AU AU!!!!! 😭

Me, pointing to the mirror: Do NOT become The Joker about this. This isn’t even a Condiment King situation.

still so funny to me that gross has another meaning besides icky and is used seriously all the time. your gross annual income. your disgusting nasty amount of money you earn the whole year. pathetic