Better than Jack.

But the problem is that I can't walk into a Red Lobster because if I do that I will stop breathing. It's not a fun spot for the shellfish allergic (Yes, Jamie from my books gets that from me).

So I told her we could, if she would take some cash into the restaurant, wait her turn to talk to the hostess, ask politely, pay, and bring them out to me. She considered this, but she already orders for herself in restaurants, goes up to ask for shop restroom keys herself, etc. She's polite and calm and it's fine. So she decided that this was a manageable stretch, and agreed.

And lo, we had cheddar biscuits and they were awesome.

And I keep thinking about how we did this all the time in the 80s and 90s and then everybody went nuts for stranger danger and true crime podcasts and we just...stopped.

You know what's great about teaching young kids how to do shit like this? No sense of cringe, and if they fuck up they come right back to their parents, and also people give young kids grace if they stumble a bit.

Instead, I'm seeing people to wait till their kids are teenagers to expect them to be able to do things independently. Teenagers! Who are famously terrified of social fuckups, who get no grace from anybody, and who rarely want to go to an adult if things go wrong!

That's utterly backwards!

Not only do we need to trust teens to do more independently, but that starts with letting young kids do things more independently. So they learn early on that trying and failing is ok and they can just try again. So they can learn skills when they're young and shameless.

Eight of Swords and Knight of Swords

i. the monster's body is a cultural body

ii. the monster always escapes

iii. the monster is the harbinger of category crisis

iv. the monster dwells at the gates of difference

v. the monster polices the borders of the possible

vi. fear of the monster is really a kind of desire

these are all direct quotes from jeffrey jerome cohen's "monster culture (seven theses)" (full pdf linked) i highly encourage you to read it yourself!

that said, while i think cohen's writing is evocative, it can be a little dense, so while i'm here, here's my capsule summary (you can also hear me talk about this in the first episode of my podcast) (listen to @ghostswerepeopletoo)

i. the monster's body is a cultural body - The monster is a work of fiction to be analyzed through tools of literary and sociological theory.

ii. the monster always escapes - As long as the cultural fear from which the monster stems persists, the monster will reappear in retellings, reimaginings, and sequels.

iii. the monster is the harbinger of category crisis - Monsters defy binaries and challenge easy comprehension or categorization.

iv. the monster dwells at the gates of difference - The monster represents the Other.

v. the monster polices the borders of the possible - Tales of the monster exist to discourage unacceptable or taboo behaviors.

vi. fear of the monster is really a kind of desire - Subjects can vicariously participate in the disruption of the social order through the monster.