Reality is Man-Made

It’s Fitzgerald ye damn heathens

No it’s Fortnite look it up. Abraham PUBG Lincoln will back me up on this one

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i’m a grower not a show-er what do this mean u might ask? means my peepee dumb small when it’s soft but when i get hard my shit bigger than your feet anyway the upside to this? no one ever expects how big i get when i’m hard it’s like “dam i ain’t even notice u got a big ass dick boy” the downside? if i get pantsed in public i immediately have to start jacking off before i pull my pants back up in order to get hard if not everyone will think i’m packing chicken nugget when in reality im not vegan but i brought the cucumber with me

why is this formatted like a poem

Because it is one

when i was a toddler i thought god was an imperceivable web of white pulsing membranes stretched over itself a million times and i thought he lived inside the wooden pulpit at my church

Lost in the sauce

yesterday i was taking a guest’s order and they were staring at the menu and the question they asked stunned me into silence and has been burned into my brain for life and i will present it to you verbatim today. they looked at the menu and turned to me and asked “so like, the more we get, the more expensive it is? is that how it works?”

this morning NASA abandoned their mars rover Opportunity (aka Oppy) because it (she) got hit by a storm on Mars and it knocked her camera and wheels out and her last words to the team were “my battery is low and it is getting dark”. I know she’s a machine but I’m devastated. Oppy is the one who discovered water on Mars. RIP oppy ily space baby

dating site for dumbasses called okstupid

“my battery is low and it’s getting dark” is so hauntingly human, so crushingly lonely. I can’t articulate the deep, profound ache that sentence evokes. It’s acceptance and defeat and terror and sadness all at once, all from one tiny machine we asked to explore the stars for us.