if you really want to fuck a vampire then i’d say you’re down for the count

damn thats a lot of notes and a lot of vampire fuckers, i guess its time to raise the stakes

Yeah, uh, we showed your boyfriend a series of human shaped holes. Yeah he, uh, found one made exactly for him. He did go in the hole. It goes all the way through the other side but it, uh, it slowly distorts shape as he goes through, so that it physically reforms his bones. Yeah, he's gonna come out the other side a little squiggly guy. Sorry

if you call women “females” i automatically do not trust or like you

you really wont like the military then buddy

jokes on you, i already hate the military

Maybe I'm not mentally ill and I'm actually just feeling anxious and guilty because I'm evil inside

Nature is incredible, you can really see just at a quick glance how these evolved to speak together in rhyming riddles while performing a spooky dance, laughing at you because they're The Wee Creatures Three and you will Never Get Their Key.

foot to head ratio off the charts

these are what im afraid of pulling out in those dreams i have where my wrist is suddenly full of holes