it be ok

the last day we ever shared.

The Sun rose that day too.

The Sun goes down and I think about

the first night we spent apart.

Losing you was like if the night

went form blue straight to dark.

No orange,

no pink,

no clouds shaped like sharks.

Just eyes in the sky

that used to be stars

that belong to the dark,

the dark that lured you away

I kinda like being sad

and being down and all of that.

I kinda like how missing you feels on my heart,

I feel the weight down to my heels then they start

dragging like I do with my past all around,

ever since I wound up here at the Lost and Found.

to make it right?

Should we talk while smoking?

I don’t wanna fight.

We were having such a good night

but then I couldn’t shake the feeling that I didn't matter, so

my past and I instigated a fight with you that I hope

doesn’t shatter us, I’m a mess

and a disaster. 

And I think I turn on myself 

to manipulate you 

10-19-18

(Almost) All of us reunited for our best friend's wedding.

It was the seventh anniversary of my dad's suicide.

I got to paint the bride and babe's faces.

P said he loved me for the first-second time

on the dance flo mid shimmy

and we secretly cheersed with Tay

Katie and Caleb because Theodora

got her heartbeat.

My worst day is also my most precious day.

Life is sad, and happy, and KEWT and

we're all just gettting by together, so

Why can't my reality be the same as yours?

When you said that something,

the wind from my world

picked up your words,

and spun them around

before putting them down

to be found by me but-

they no longer mean what

you meant them to be.

And when I felt what I did

after you said what you said,

it was mixed with the negative beliefs

already swirling around in my head.

Should've

Thought

Ahead

My roommate found this sign in the back of the garden all rusty, so we picked a color and he gave it a spray paint job. Not a week later, he got his heart beat :D

If I didn’t know you, I wouldn’t know the new or crescent moon. Behind the fog, she fades to blue — and I don’t feel so alone.

Maybe that’s why people feel connected to the Moon. I get scared I won’t see you soon.

If I didn’t know you, what would become of the space in my mind, where I sit on the roof looking up at the Moon, dreaming of you tonight?

If I didn’t know you, where would hope be if not by my side? Would there be any stardust, if I didn’t dream of a better time?

If I didn’t know you, I wouldn’t know the new, half, or full moon.

I reach my hand out to her — or maybe to you.

in this world that moves without you.

You hung the Moon

but now you're as far away.

There's clouds in my view

and I see the light shine through the

fog and I know

that you're near

that I’m not enough

but I know that I can be.

If only you would pick me up,

I could be your bottle of whiskey.

I know you think

that I’m too much,

but like your cup, I’m empty.

I don’t mean to make a fuss

I just,

wish I was your whiskey.

Because if I was 

you would drown in love.

Here, take my hand 

so you don’t go missing.

Left then right 

until we’re past small-talk,

hand-in-hand with 

wishful thinking.

If only you could open up

like you do