Thinking about Grace eventually setting up a communication line on Erid. Going into Mary one last time and flipping on the recording. "I don't know if this will reach Earth while everyone I knew was alive. But I want you to know I'm not only alive, but that I'm okay! I have friends and family and... I've made a life here". He looks away from the camera and hums some kind of melody to himself. This isn't the Ryland Grace everyone knew. He's covered in gems and mesh and speaks with a strange up-and-down tone to his voice, almost like he's singing to a song no one else can hear.
"I forgive you." He says finally. "I will never return to Earth. I will never know if this reaches you. But I forgive you... You did murder someone that day. But... a new man was born out of it. I think I... I think I like him a lot more."
He adjusts the earrings he wears, now, "For all of my students, all of you -- every single one I've taught. I'm proud of you. You made me the man I am today, and I remember each and every one of you. You're going to do great things -- if you haven't already"
"Dr. Ryland Grace, signing off."
[End Recording]
Eva Stratt is in her 80s by the time this recording reaches their planet. She had been fighting to keep the connection up. She spouted many reasons, but everyone knew why. Just in case he was alive. Just in case he would return. Just in case. Just in case. Just in case.
He's not returning.
She can't bare the thought of taking them down now.
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Would it have been so hard to give us something like this? Give them this one, small moment to express their love for each other?
Don’t get me wrong, I kind of grew fond of the hand kiss gesture. But in the Bookshop Garden, when they had privacy - probably for the first time ever - I really grieve a heartfelt conversation; about the things they did wrong, about their affection, about their options. About the reasons why they decided to choose humanity over their own happiness *sigh*
So I chose to give them this hug. We all need this. I will continue drawing moments like this ♥️😭
percy jackson treating the color blue as a superstition, because when he was a kid it was an inside joke between his mom and him, because it was the one part of his childhood his jerk stepdad couldn't invade since he didn't even understand it, because it proved his mom loved him. after all he told her one time in the second grade that his favorite color was blue and she immediately decided to make it Their Thing.
the awkward 11 year old kid on financial aid at his fancy private school, with blue candy wrappers in his pocket and a blue eraser so he won't fail the test. blue marker doodles on his arm that he drew in the lobby of the principal's office so he won't get expelled (again.) blue t-shirt on the first day of summer, so maybe his stepdad won't take notice of him when he comes back from boarding school. blue birthday cake so the next year will be lucky and blue pancakes because him and his mom made them together and blue backpack so maybe this school will be the one where people will treat him like he's Normal.
he's wearing a red jacket when the Minotaur attacks him and his mom on Half-blood Hill and he'll never wear that color again. when it's time to pick roommates in sixth grade at Yancy Academy and he doesn't have any friends to reach for immediately, he picks the boy with the blue shoes. this boy's name is grover underwood and he's a good roommate choice because later he'll turn out be a great satyr and one of the best friends this kid's ever had. percy wraps blue paper tape on his sword's hilt when the leather grip is falling apart and the walls of his mom's boyfriend's apartment (the jerk stepdad died) are dark blue so maybe this new guy will be cool. sally and paul's wedding ring is a blue diamond so yeah, he's cool. fuck.
they can think he's weird. superstitions mean nothing in greek mythology. but he's just scared. Luke Castellan's eyes were blue but when Kronos possessed him, they turned gold. nine year old in his fourth boarding school in four years, walking home wondering if his mom still cares because he doesn't know she's sending him away to make the monsters lose track, he just thinks she's sending him as far as possible from her. being reassured by the fact that she remembered to bring blue candy from her job at Sweet on America to greet him home for Christmas break and his stepdad will call them weird but he won't take notice.
he'll redo the blue paper tape on the sword's hilt for the entire month after the battle of manhattan so nothing else goes wrong, kronos won't come back, it'll really be over. and when that goes doesn't work and the giants rise on August 1st he'll wear blue instead of his CHB t-shirt so Gaea will fall.
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Eddie Munson stands in front of the mirror, smoothing out invisible wrinkles on his black sweater.
"Not sure I've ever seen someone take so much time to get ready to go drinking with a friend." Nancy says from his doorway. Her voice is light, but the tone sardonic.
"Wheeler." His hands drops to his sides. "Can we not do this tonight?"
"I didn't say anything." She raises her hands in innocence. "But--you could tell him."
"See!" He turns to face her. "I knew it."
"I think a little honesty would do you both some good."
"Nance. Drop it. I'm overthinking enough already."
"Which is why," she crosses the room, starts fussing with his sweater. "You should just get it over with and tell him you're in love with him."
"Sure, that'll go over well," he snorts. "King Frat Boy Steve Harrington will just looove hearing that."
"Eddie, you know he's not that guy anymore, and you can't--"
"I know, I know, I can't go on like this, pining over him. I've heard you a thousand times, and Robin a thousand more. I just--I'll get over him." He snaps his fingers. "Easy peasy."
"Babe. It's been five years."
"Yeah, well. Maybe I'm a brand new man. Maybe I'll meet the love of my life tonight over a pitcher of PBR. The world is full of possibilities."
Nancy shakes her head. "Nobody has ever met the love of their life on $1 pitcher night."
"Not with that attitude."
"You're hopeless," she says. He thinks it's affectionate.
He goes back to the mirror, but she doesn't leave. "Did you need something else?"
"No, but you need to get going."
He blows a raspberry. "I don't have to go until--" he looks at the red digits on his alarm clock. "Fuck! Five minutes ago."
Eddie grabs his keys and wallet and rushes out of the room.
"Have fun!" Nancy calls.
He flips her off as he pushes out the door.
Steve's waiting for him outside the bar, chewing at his lip the way he has since Vecna. Eddie shouts his name, catches his attention, and his expression brightens, relief and affection spilling from his smile.
He still makes Eddie buy the first round as punishment for being late, but it's the first round of many, and the night sprawls out around them, like so many since they came to college. They drink, they share baskets of appetizers, they shoot the shit, and because they're both popular with vastly different groups, there's always people coming by to say hi.
And when they're alone, it's Steve and Eddie doing what they do best... talking and laughing until the room falls away around them, until it's only them, until nothing else in the world could intrude.
Eddie gets up after a while, takes the empty pitchers to the bar, orders another. He's on his way back to the table when he sees the girl. Dark blonde hair, tight curls, elfin and cute, Nancy Wheeler 2.0. She's talking to Steve, flirting, and he's smiling and laughing.
Something hot and ugly rises in Eddie's stomach before he can stomp it down, but this is a truth he's always known, and anyway, he's near enough that he catches Steve's eye, who immediately stands to help with the beer.
He expects the girl to stay, but he and Steve get carried away horsing around filling their glasses, and after they mop up the spilled beer, she's gone.
Steve doesn't seem to mind; honestly, doesn't even seem to realize she left, but Eddie feels guilty. It's not like he doesn't know that Steve sleeps with girls, a lot of them; not even like he hasn't seen the magic happen live and up-close. And if Steve wants to get some--
"Earth to Eddie, you in there?" Steve's fist knocks on the side of his head, and he pushes it away with a laugh. "Where'd you go?"
The words fall out of his mouth before he's sure he wants to say them, tumbling into the space between them like hail, could cause irreparable damage. "You could hook up with her, if you wanted."
"What?" Steve's mouth curls into a confused pout.
"That girl. You--if you wanted to go with her--" His tongue is too big for his mouth suddenly.
"C'mon, you know I never hook up when we're hanging out."
"Yeah, yeah. I know. But you seemed into her, and I don't want to stand in the way, so if you--"
He shakes his head, smiles in this soft, sweet way. "I'm not looking tonight."
Eddie wants to protest, but he's said too much already, feels exposed, so he shrugs and grins, says, "your loss," and pours another beer.
---
He's feeling good, happy and buzzed, and he knows Steve is too by the way he grins and leans towards Eddie from across the table. Even more so when he says, "I'm dying for some pizza. Split one?"
And Eddie laughs and says yes, like he'd ever say anything else, before excusing himself to the restroom.
It's on his way back that he sees that girl again, at the bar, and pressed up close to her is none other than Steve Harrington. He's smiling, looking down at her, and Eddie's whole body shrivels up and turns to dust. Maybe he is drunk, after all, what with the fury spitting through him and the way the room is suddenly spinning.
He decides to slip out while Steve is distracted, no need for another awkward conversation. But Steve looks up, and their eyes meet, and Eddie watches as Steve leans in to say something to the girl, as he steps away from her to join him. Eddie, for once in his life, can't find anything to say, and he walks into the chill night air without a word.
"God, I'm starving," Steve says once they're free of the noise of the bar.
"You can hook up with her," Eddie says. He doesn't want to say it again, hates himself for the words spilling out. "I don't mind."
Steve laughs. "I told you I wasn't interested in that tonight."
"But she was your type."
"My type? I don't really have--what's gotten into you?"
"C'mon, Steve, even I could see how much she looked like Nancy."
"Nancy?" Steve stops in the middle of the street. "What does she have to do with anything?"
Eddie rolls his eyes. " Forget I said anything. It doesn't--whatever."
"I don't get--" Eddie starts walking away, but Steve reaches out, fast, loosely wraps fingers around his wrist. "Hey, don't--what's with you tonight, man? You're all--I don't even know."
And he is drunk, too drunk for this, for his crush, for his jealousy, for the way Steve's eyes are dark and serious, his forehead scrunched with concern.
"It's nothing, promise." He says. "Beer wasn't as watered down as normal, or something."
"Sure, yeah, but--" Steve chews at his lip. "I don't know why--was it cause she reminded you of Nancy?"
"Like she didn't remind you of Nancy?" He snorts.
"Not really." Steve shrugs. "But I wasn't paying attention to her."
"That's not what it looked like to me," trips out of his mouth before he can swallow it back.
"This is exactly what I mean," Steve says. He hasn't stopped chewing on his lip. "You've never cared about the girls around before--what gives?"
His mouth hangs open, useless, responses he won't give pinging at his nervous system. "I can't do this tonight," is what he settles on. He turns to go, but Steve, has quick hold of his elbow.
"I don't understand."
"It's--just a bad night. Nothing to worry about."
"I feel like we're fighting and I don't know what I did." Steve chews his lip some more, and Eddie hates it; hates that he's the one making Steve anxious like this.
Eddie laughs, humorless. "You didn't do anything, Steve. Of course not. It's all me. I'll go home and sleep it off and be right as rain in the morning."
"You'd tell me if--"
"Of course." He swallows. "I'm going to go, okay?"
"Are you sure? Maybe getting some food would help." His eyes are so big in the streetlight, glossy and hazel and sad, and Eddie can't stand it. Steve is so good and kind and worried, and Eddie can't--
"I'm in love with you."
Steve's face drops, goes neutral, drops again. "Eddie, I--"
"Stop," he says. Mercy of mercies, he sounds normal. "I don't need you to let me down easy, Steve. But I'm gonna leave, and hopefully forget all about this by the morning."
He walks away then, and Steve lets him, doesn't call him back, and that's what gets the hurt to finally set in.
He doesn't go home, walks around downtown, anonymous in the usual student bustle, heartbroken tears threatening to fall.
---
Eddie has no idea what time it is when he finally makes his way home but--
Steve Harrington waits on the front steps, knees curled to his chest, a pizza box next to him.
Tears choke his throat closed, and he can't speak for a few long seconds. "What are you doing here?"
"Was worried about you," Steve says. Under the porch light, his eyes look red.
"I'm fine, promise."
"Eddie, I--"
"Please don't." He squeezes his eyes shut, swallows hard. "We don't need to do this. Ever, but not tonight, okay? I can't--I can't handle it tonight."
Steve looks at his sneakers, then nods. "Will you sit here with me?"
It's Eddie's turn to nod. To take a seat with a healthy amount of room between them.
"Thought you might be hungry." Steve offers him the pizza. "Your favorite."
They eat in silence, comfortable enough, despite everything, then talk quietly of nothing, as the very oldest and closest of friends do.
At some point, they must fall asleep because he wakes up to dawn peaking over the horizon and Steve's head pillowed on his chest. His heart aches, and tears slip free, but he thinks, at least he has this. At least Steve loves him this way.
