lucy meets world

I always speak about how I think negatively and all that, but I was thinking about how I always had to make plans and decide what to do when j and I hang out. So I told him I wanted him to decide for a change since I felt like I was making all the choices.

I don’t know how someone could make me this happy but at the same time today make me feel so incredibly sad and depressed. 

It’s incredibly fascinating what a long time of self discovery and self care does.

It is so weird to read these back and realize the mental states I was in. I was really wasn't strong back then, I still don't think I am strong today but reading these back I can feel how much pain I was going through.

“Women are also rejected. Women also spend their teen years pining after dreamy boys who will never love them back. You don’t see us going around murdering people over it. You don’t see us setting up internet communities for the purpose of talking about how evil and shallow men are for not taking us to pound town. Women don’t go around killing men who don’t like them, because if you’re a woman in this society, a boy not liking you is the least of your problems. It is nowhere near the shittiest thing you’re going to be expected to “just deal with” in your life — one of those things being the fact that we are expected to “just deal with” how men are sometimes going to murder a bunch of people because they felt entitled to romantic attention from women. We are expected to “deal with” that, while never bringing up the terms “male privilege” or “male entitlement” or “toxic masculinity” and why those things so often lead to mass murder, on account of how that might really hurt the feelings of the men who have been gracious enough to not go on killing sprees.”

I always speak about how I think negatively and all that, but I was thinking about how I always had to make plans and decide what to do when j and I hang out. So I told him I wanted him to decide for a change since I felt like I was making all the choices.

I don’t know how someone could make me this happy but at the same time today make me feel so incredibly sad and depressed. 

It's incredibly fascinating what a long time of self discovery and self care does.

I always speak about how I think negatively and all that, but I was thinking about how I always had to make plans and decide what to do when j and I hang out. So I told him I wanted him to decide for a change since I felt like I was making all the choices.

I don’t know how someone could make me this happy but at the same time today make me feel so incredibly sad and depressed.