old trash

Being an adult will have you unironically craving a vegetable

Being an adult will have you unironically sad about a parasite outbreak in fresh vegetables.

this is my first time in the pacific northwest. we drove through a forest so wet and foggy you couldn’t see the bends in the road ten yards ahead of you and it straight up felt like a horror game until we emerged into a sunny valley with a rainbow over it and then we went to a taco bell and in it there was a guy dressed like a hot dog and a guy dressed like hamburger. is it all like this

U literally cannot save your mother like it cant be done

When I was a kid watching tv was idiot coded and nerds read books, but now scrolling shortform videos is considered braindead behavior and watching tv means you're some kinda intellectual. You might think this shifting assessment of media's consumers might make readers into absolute super geniuses, but no. Only perverts read now.

Sexy babe Lady Macbeths are a plague. Lady Macbeth should obviously be at least butch, if not outright trans - the first thing she does in the play is try to use magic to transition - but nooooo it’s too threatening if she isn’t hot to straight men.

New bruno mars song called I'll kill you

if christopher nolan was really the visionary and ground-breaking director everyone claims he is he would have cast ben affleck as penelope

The kind of sex I want requires like 3 layers of psychological manipulation

one time we were listening to fleetwood mac in the car and my sister who was probably 4 at the time asked, without being prompted, “can girls marry girls?” and THAT is the power of stevie nicks