Isis' Child

Well maybe I don’t WANT to work double as hard as abled people!! Maybe I deserve a BREAK!! Maybe I’ve been working MORE THAN double as hard for MY WHOLE LIFE and it’s led me to immense burnout & caused me to develop several MORE disabilities!! Maybe I should be ACCOMMODATED so I don’t have to KILL MY BODY AND BRAIN over trying to do what abled people can do!! Maybe I DON’T have to work double as hard!! Maybe if there’s the option to let me NOT work double as hard, I should have it, because I’m already working double as hard JUST TO SURVIVE!!

Give that Witchboy a baby!

Klarion! Lord of Chaos, good looking young man of FABULOUS hairstyles, partner in crime of the MAGNIFICENT Teekle... is? In a bit of a pickle. Tiny bit of a problem. Itty, bitty, theoretically possible touch of a CONCERN, if you will. Might even have done goofed.

See, and he knows this is out of character for him, he THOUGHT? It would be funny? To play a... a LITTLE, tiiiiny, harmless bitty joke on the Lord of Time. Ha ha... funny right? We're all joking around~! H-having a LAUGH?

....please don't unwind me into unexistence! We're too hilarious and gorgeous to die!

You wouldn't kill a kid with a cat, would you!?

And, yeah, maybe he and Teekle start monologing. Dramatically lamenting how Teekles care routine is going to RUINED and they are going to DIE, how no one can take a JOKE, trying to bargin their way out of their impending demise. Etc etc. But?

Then? The Lord Of Time muses that Teekle IS very well cared for? And?

Look, buddy, kill him or don't kill him! You're not gonna get Teekle! Keep your filthy cat molesting hands to yourself! No one touches his baby!

That's apparently the "right answer".

He suddenly has a God Toddler in his other arm, cradled against his chest, right next to Teekle. W-What? The Price(TM) for Sparing His Life(TM) is raising and protecting his... WAIT, WHAT!?

Klarion become a Teen Dad. Teekle become a Cat Parent. Both are baffled and highly alarmed. What has happen to their eternal Hot Chaos Summer!? Fast cars and the country side filled with frogs that are on fire? Milk shakes and rattlesnakes down peoples shirts?

Parenthood?!?! This is going to RUIN ALL THEIR FUN PLANS!

..........or......or IS it? Teekle, hear him out, what if? We take the glow potato? WITH us? It's a baby! They don't do much. Probably good enrichment or something! Yeah! We'll get one of those baby carriers and just? Rain on the Justice Dorks parade, WITH A BABY! That's EXTRA embarrassing for them!

We could have matching outfits!

Nevermind! I saved it! Teekle, we're geniuses. Let's go rob some baby stores! Come on, Jr.! Time to learn Daddy's favorite past time! CHAOS.

Robin? Has NO idea what to do. Klarion had a baby. He can't hit a man with a baby! How are they meant to fight the menace now? Fuck this! They can... Capture Teekl? Make a deal? Urgh, this is so stressful! When and HOW did Klarion get a son? He's even dressed the poor boy in a matching outfit! Also, the baby has bloodlust. He not crazy! The baby has bloodlust!

Or danny and klarion falling for each other due to klarion being a surprisingly attentive father (the guy stops everything the moment dan starts getting fussy to see whats up (he also stops the justice dorks in place to change Dan's dipper)) and klarion falling for danny due to danny being able to sew such chaos just by talking (he was talking about the anti ecto acts emphasising how technically the government owns gram gram sorry(he also fell more inlove when he saw how danny bold faced told batman that most of his children by law are required to hand themselves over for experimentation and eradication))

.....well HI to you too, my name's Danny. Nice to meet you. Gonna assume you're Klarion then. Come on in.

Cause? I kinda get the vibes that Klarion Is AroAce? He has no time for your disGUStang meat grinding and fleshy business. He has far more important Humorous Chaos to get up too. Keep the universe delightfully disordered and all that!

But a date mate? Ooooh that sounds FUN! A platonic partner? A Special Children Raising Friend? He LIKES that idea! Danny can be his EX! Who broke his heart dramatically, of course. It was a grand and chaotic saga~ full of fire and scorpion jello monsoons. He's gonna change the backstory every time someone asks! Hehehe~

Want him to watch little Ellie while you make pasta? He probably asks, upside down, from where he's playing airplane with the kids by floating them around with his magic. And yeah, Danny'd like that. Mind picking up some cheese while you're out?

>:3 no~ he doesn't mind~

(OH GOD, WHY DOES HE HAS TWO TODDLERS NOW?! Why is he attacking cheese shops?! No! Not the blue mouse fromagerie! That was Metropolis City's premiere cheese destination! Noooooooo-!!!)

Then behind closed doors? They just sit and laugh about the faces the heroes make. Ahh, that's some good shit. Low stakes, nobodies hurt chaos. Just what the doctor ordered. Danny's friend have to be read in on the situation of course. Or they shall riot at being left out of the chaos.

Cassie calls up her mentor. This, she feels, is the time when having Wonder Woman as her mentor, will be the best. Cassie explaining how Klarion is in an on/off relationship with their adopted uncle. And the bastards dumped the babies on them. Please send help!

Probably been having FUN tormenting ally and enemy alike for ideas.

While Danny is out shopping. Having JUST been confront by the Young Justice Nerds. Who are trying desperately to convince him he can Do Better(tm). Please Sto- They mean, think of the household you are raising your kids in!

Only for Klarion too dive in, for a suprise "win back my Ex with a whirlwind Date in Paris, oh? Is that where his cousin, Wonder Woman, is? We had NO ideeeeaaaa~~☆!" Thank GOODNESS Danny's go-to babysitters are here! Thanks, guys! He's SO glad he can TRUST you!

If ANYTHING were to happen to his lil munchkins, he'd probably snap and go full Supervillian! Again! And he didn't fight his evil future self in the future that never was just to lose it all NOW, right guys? Right. Well'p see you in a bit~!

And what's WORSE? Is Danny is actually a MITIGATING FORCE. There is legitimately a divide on whether they WANT this relationship to work out or NOT. Whether they should be trying to... to like give them? Couples counseling? Or advice on why this is toxic and they need to let go.

Because if it blows up, only God knows how many people would die. Specifically Kronos. He might be counting on it. Laughing. But on the OTHER hand? If it DOESNT blow up? "Danny", which is probably short for something, unquestionably leans towards "Chaotic Good" as opposed to Klarion's "Chaotic Destructive". He also seems more? Humanity tolerant.

And if HE raises Klarion's kids? Fewer future "I destroyed your island for the LOLs" types.

Needless to say, they fightin' about it. Dr. Fate hate both of um. Constantine is calling him a biased prick. Diana is just worried what Plots(TM) Kronos might be weaving for those two children. Wants to take the little girl and hide her back home on the island. Is trying to think of an equally safe place for the girl's brother and father.

EVERYBODY is trying to figure out a timeline or at least how this all went down.

The best they can deduce? Kronos had ANOTHER child, long AFTER Zeus and his sibling defeated him, likely as part of some plot to free himself. Klarion, a trickster known to wander when bored, eventually came across this hidden child. Possibly when trying to contact Kronos, possibly by accident.

Klarion befriended the hidden child. Fell in love.

Some method divine baby creation occurred, out of the countless methods known to exsist.

Kronos was likely either not pleased or TOO pleased. As "Danny" did NOT stay with his father, as is traditional, dispite being a young father and having no spouse to rely on. Him and Klarion were divided on what to do. A fight occurred? One of them left, taking one of the two children.

Klarion? Really likes Danny. Definitely best platonic partner he could ever have. There are not mushy feels, or gross touching. Just chaos! Glorious chaos! And someone else to help him with Dante. Eleanor is cute as a button too! And kids are inherently chaotic. Yup! He's found his people! Doesn't make him soft though! It doesn't! Just cause he's blown up less buildings means nothing! The dust might hurt Dante's lungs is all. He's being a good Dad™.

You know what I want to see? The chaos they can cause as 5-6 year olds.

Have you ever met a kid that age? They are just as likely to play being the villain as being the hero.

So give me Young Justice, absolutely panicking because Ellie and her side kick Dan (so you can see my vision it is important to note that Dan is the younger sibling in my mind and toddles around behind Ellie everywhere) are "pretending" to be villains by kidnapping the president.

Like yeah, they're just babies, and they could (probably) win in a fight, but they're BABIES! (They are also terrified of what will happen if their parents find out they got hurt)

Aunty Sam had been campaigning to get this company held accountable for months now, but they'd paid off the judges and promised to stop (they didn't). Their solution? Burn the place down!

Dan has been practising his shields, and he can now hold really large ones for a whole hour! Well, so long as he doesn't get distracted, but still! The building would totally burn down by then. Dan can hold in all the smoke, and then Ellie can come in and use her wind powers to condense it and trap it in the magic box that Daddy Klarion gave them last week. Then, they can get Daddy Danny to fly it up into space, where it won't bother anyone! Oooh, or Daddy Klarion can use it in one of his pranks!

Unfortunately for them, Dan got distracted. The fire had been going for about 15 minutes when emergency services arrived. They thought that Dan was trying to be a Hero (blergh) by containing the smoke and depriving the fire of extra oxygen, so the fire chief came up to talk to him. When Dan heard what they were saying, he dropped the shield out of shock.

Now all the toxic smoke was getting free, oh no! It's time to call in a Daddy to help. Dan sends Klarion a message, and Ellie presses her Fenton Emergency Alert Button on her watch.

Danny and Klarion, who were off on a 'date' in the Infinite Realms (hunting Skulker with comically oversized weapons), come through a portal a few seconds later.

The kids say that they're in their Anti-Hero phase right now, so you gotta call them that.

Grace: Our ancestors used them to grab tree branches.

Rocky: Trees? Question.

Grace: Oh fuck your planet doesn't have trees, doesn't it? No sunlight means no photosynthesis, means no reason for plants to grow tall.

I was reading one story where the apocalypse was impossibly-rising oceans. Like, water is appearing from *waves hand* the Earth's crust or something, and literally all dry surface land on Earth is going to become underwater in X years. Part of the story was about a giant research project to invent FTL to send a few hundred humans to a nearby star which might have a habitable planet. You know what they were hoping to find? A planet with liquid water. Their plan was to descend from their starship and restart civilization using just the tools they brought with them, on a world with no life and no breathable air and the wrong gravity and the wrong temperate and the wrong sunlight and the wrong day-night cycle, just because it had liquid water. You know where else has liquid water? The flooded Earth you just abandoned. Instead of researching starship technology, you could have spent that time loading up all the same civilization-restarter tools into boats.

An innocent man is home with his family instead of spending his kids' whole childhoods in jail for "resisting arrest" when none of the cops could agree on why he was being arrested in the first place. (But it definitely had nothing to do with him being a Black man in a nice car, honest! 🙄)

And it still took like two hours of delibration after we'd heard all the evidence because one lady was so gung ho about believing everything the cops said, even when not a single goddamn one could agree with their own testimony, let alone their colleagues'.

Pointing out all the inconsistencies and admitted misconduct and letting people slowly come to their own conclusions as the trial played out was fucking hard, I won't lie. I can be patient, but it doesn't come naturally to me.

But. Yelling about how this was obviously a bs case would have shut everyone down and made them stop listening. Asking questions and letting people discuss how the cops tried to make xyz sound suspicious but it was totally normal, or about how if things played out the way the cops said then logically events should have proceeded in a totally different direction, and positing different theories that actually lined up with the evidence presented?

That got people thinking, and everyone realized that for a variety of reasons we all had reasonable doubts that the defendent had committed any of the crimes of which he was accused.

1. The court holds Google responsible for statements made by its AI, considering them Google's statements (search engines have limited liability for results in their engine as they're the words of other sites/companies/people), meaning when their AI lies/hallucinates they're liable for the defamation/harm resulting from those statements.

2. Google's defense that customers are generally aware of the lack of reliability and are responsible for fact checking was dismissed. As the court pointed out, that would "significantly diminish" AI Search's stated purpose and it can't be distinguished from Google's business practices/statements as a search tool.

3. Studies have found about 91% of Google's everyday AI responses are accurate, leaving millions of searches per HOUR with potential liability for falsehoods. 56% of correct responses weren't supported by the sources the AI listed. Both of which mean Google is now liable for a LOT more AI "errors."

4. Google was held liable for 80% of court costs in this case and this precedent is expected to reverberate around the world. This is a massive shift from the 3rd-party search provider role Google has previously played and it comes right as they've tied ALL searches to their AI search.

Great news: she loved it. Super tasty apparently. Great success. Along with the kidney-sensitive treats we found, it was a nice way to supplement her diet. Unforseen long-term consequence though: she loved it so much she began demanding it throughout the day. Like, would come up to us and meow, and meow, and meow, and not stop, until we got up, went to the kitchen, and got her some cat drink.

And by doing so on demand, we have unfortunately created a monster: no matter what we are doing at home, Dozy knows that if she sits next to you and meows, 1) you know what she wants, and 2) you know that she will not stop until you get it for her now. And when you do get it, she gets extremely excited. She will bum rush the kitchen door as you enter. She will run around your feet as you open the can. She will let out the creakiest, crunchiest, most nails-on-the-chalkboard meow you've ever heard if she thinks you're not going fast enough.

I do not begrudge her this. It is gratifying to care for a creature whose most ardent desires are so simple that it is this easy to fulfill them. But I am a little sad, because I know in my heart that I have never loved any comestible as much as she loves this cat drink. She has a pleasure of a purity and intensity that I will never know.

Eros GreyHeart

🐱 Transylvanian

📸 Zsolt Bereczki

Food Crimes: Bread vandalism (2x), drug-fueled strawberry theft, animal cracker pickpocketing.

Violence: Assault (ass-biting), assault (balloon-popping), assault (screamed at and hit an old man).

Destruction of Property: IRREPARABLE DAMAGE TO KEYBOARD, puzzle ripping, art project demolition.

Biting Me: biting me.

Obstructing the Arts: paint-by-number disruption, unlawful occupation of coloring book.

The kid was picked up by an ambulance 30 minutes later.

Now as an adult working in security I get SO MANY folks- upper-middle aged mostly- coming to me to 'rat out' people they think are faking it.

I was once sent into a bathroom because a client demanded that the "fucker won't get out, so go drag them out"- I was NEVER going to do that, so I did a wellness check instead. You know who it was? A person recently released from the hospital after a car accident. They had a hole in their skull and major hearing loss. They couldn't answer the owner because they couldn't HEAR the owner.

Another time about a homeless man who got around town by kicking the ground from his wheelchair. "You know he doesn't actually need that thing, his legs work fine, it's just for pity points"- Oh, so he's not paralyzed, his wheelchair is performative? Funny story Dale, I actually know that guy, he was backed over by a truck and has chronic pain from his shattered pelvis. But sure, let's make him stand up and walk everywhere so nobody feels too bad for him and tries to help him or something.

"She doesn't need that scooter, I've seen her get out of it."

"Look how fat he is, because he just rides around and refuses to get up."

"She doesn't really need that cane- she comes here without it all the time"

"What do you mean you don't have them? You can't just not have them!"

"Well, we have them, we just send them away."

"SEND THEM AWAY? HOW? TO WHERE?"

"Settle down, it's very straightforward. When someone starts getting their period they go to the local witch or wizard or necromancer or whatever's nearby and get a spell placed on them. All the blood gets sent straight to the throne of the Blood King. Which is nice because he loves blood and isn't too picky about where it comes from. This way he's not running around starting wars for his blood. He gets it free and on a regular basis."

"But what about period cramps?"

"Oh, we send those away too. Off to the orcs of the Screaming Mountains."

"That seems like it could cause problems. Aren't you worried they'll retaliate?"

"Well, no. The orcs....kind of like it? They apparently like pain about as much as the Blood King likes blood. So as long as we keep sending the period cramps, they leave us be."

"huh, I wonder why more kingdoms haven't tried this."