ISFP Probs

Little survey

Something someone said or something in the room gave us an idea and we’ve zoned out trying to plan or visualize it.  AKA daydreaming.

We prefer to get to know you by listening and observing. We want to see if your behavior lines up with what you say, if you’re funny, if we have anything in common, if you’re a safe person to trust before we really open up.  

We may not have anything to contribute to the conversation. This can mean that the thought we had has been spoken already, so it would be inefficient to speak it again.  It can also mean that we really don’t know much about the subject and want to research and process to form our own opinions before we speak up about it. We don’t see this as hiding or withholding our opinion. If we speak up, we want to make a significant contribution to the group. We’re not into adding to the noise or making conversation for its own sake.

We’re thinking about what to say, and sometimes we just don’t move fast enough.  Often the conversation moves so quickly that we just aren’t able to come up with something meaningful to say fast enough to fit between comments. This is especially true when we’re quiet in a group setting.

We can’t always put what we’re thinking into words you’ll understand.  I can’t say this is true for all ISFPs, but I’m a visual thinker: which means I think in images, feelings, and broad concepts more than concrete words or sentences. Sometimes I really can’t put my thoughts into words at all.  This is why we tend to gravitate toward artistic occupations or hobbies; it’s easier to express ourselves through showing rather than telling most of the time, especially if it’s a thought that affects us strongly. (which leads to the next point)

We dislike being misunderstood. We find it’s often better or easier to keep something private if we know the other person just won’t get it or saying something will result in criticism (or both).  We’re pretty sensitive but don’t like to come across that way.

Sometimes we just like to sit back and drink in the moment: sights, sounds, smells, conversation. We can’t fully take in everything when we’re talking. 

Functions: Fi-Se-Ni-Te

Strengths

Charming

Sensitive to others

Imaginative

Passionate

Curious

Artistic

Weaknesses

Fiercely independent

Unpredictable

Easily stressed

Overly competitive

Fluctuating self-esteem

Turn-on = Tenderness

Turn-off = Cruelty

What stresses ISFP out

Rigid structure and rules

Having to violate their deeply held values

Not enough alone time. Too much extraverting.

Too many demands or obligations.

Having to deal with excessive data

Long-term planning

Criticism

Lack of appreciation from others

Feeling that they are about to lose something (relationship/task, etc,..)

How to help an ISFJ experiencing stress

Give them some time alone to process their feelings and thoughts

Validate their feelings, and listen to them. Female ISFPs are often ready to talk sooner about their feelings than male ISFPs

Remind them of their strengths.

Don’t give them advice. It won’t help when they’re stressed.

Don’t try to reason with them or be logical. Just be patient, calm, and affirming.

Only after they’ve calmed down from the stress ask if they’d like any help with solutions.

How ISFP handle Grief

Talk about it with someone close

How ISFP handle Guilt

Over-apologetic

Try to make up for it

What ISFP are like when Sad

Retreat inwardly

Distance themselves from negative things & people

What ISFP need after a Bad Day

Patience and a fun physical distraction

What ISFP do when Angry

Holds in their anger and avoids the person they’re mad at, possibly for the rest of their lives.

What ISFP Should do Instead

Explain to the opposing party why their feelings were hurt and then ask to hear their side of the situation.

What ISFP Struggle with

Being predictable

What ISFP are Hard on themselves for…

Constantly worry how they are perceived by others

ISFP’s Purpose in Life is

Splash color into a grey world

What ISFP need to know

Just because someone disagrees with you, doesn’t mean they are challenging who you are as a person. Try not to be wounded by their lack of sensitivity.

What ISFP should never forget

If you share intetest and spontaneity: ISFJ, INFJ, ENFJ, ESFJ

If you share beliefs and you aren’t fake: INFP, ISFP, ENFP, ESFP

How you behave and coherence: ISTJ, ISTP, ESTJ, ESTP

“Woe is me!” (Lays around helplessly)

“Woe is me!” (Consumes excessive amounts of sugar)

“Woe is me!” (Consumes everything in the house for that matter)

“Woe is me!” (Binge watches Netflix)

ENFP/ENTP: “I need to start over.”

INFJ/INTJ: “I need a different perspective.”

ESFP/ESTP: “I need to get closer.”

ISFJ/ISTJ: “I need to focus myself.”

ESFJ/ENFJ: “I need to walk through this again.”

ISFP/INFP: “I need to be alone.”

ESTJ/ENTJ: “I need to do it myself.”