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they won't tell you this in therapy but sometimes the best way to stop catastrophizing/anxiety is to interrupt your spiraling with "girl what the hell are you talking about"

I want an easy life yet I don't want a comfortable life. I want ease as in - no financial worries, no unhealthy relationships, no big problems that seem impossible to solve, yet I do not desire comfort. I want constantly to get challenged in my beliefs, I want to push my limits, I want to change my mind over and over again, I do not desire the status quo, I want to experience the vastness of life in all its dimensions, I want to build my own opinions and continuously deconstruct them deeper and deeper, I want depth, unexpected miracles that continuously show me that greatness and vastness are possible.

Lord may the people I attract into my life be consistent and clear with their affections and intentions. May they know me see me and appreciate me always. May they be receptive to my affections and intentions. May they be true, steady givers of grace. May they be curious and non-deceptive. Should they make error against me, may they take responsibility to humbly inspire my forgiveness. Should I cross them ever by mistake, may they be knowing of my heart. May we never be confused. May clarity grow bigger forever in the space between us. May my life be a meadow for the sweetest flowers. Amen!