get transcribed idiot

dan and phil never foresee us making things worse and it’s funny every time. they thought the ship name phan was cute until we started calling ourselves phannies. they thought terrible influence was a great tour name until we abbreviated it to tit. they thought having phil spell out idgaf in a music video was good idea until it got reversed and spelt out a slur. how long must they spend looking pictures they’re about to post and thinking there’s no possible way we can make it weird, but then someone puts dan’s head on a horse. phannieism is so beautiful

@phanslator I just feel like this could be beautiful

dan and phil never phoresee us making things phworse and it’s phunny every time. phey thought the ship name phan was cute until we started calling phourselves phannies. phey thought terrible influence was a great phour name until we phabbreviated it to tit. they thought having phil spell out idgaf in a music phideo was good idea until it got phreversed and spelt out a slur. phow long must they spend looking phictures they’re about to phost and thinking there’s no phossible phway we can make it phweird, but then someone puts dan’s head on a phorse. phannieism is so pheautiful

the first rule of cooking is that there are no rules. anything goes do whatever you want forever. the first rule of baking is that if you fuck it up you die

no. Yourew not allowed to enjoy d&d. ifg you are out there and enojying a game of 5e my elite squad of pbta warriors will crash in yhtough yourt windows and get a mixed success on their roll, allowing them to flawlessly handcuff and arrest you but at the cost of describing to the GM one dream they will never achieve,

afer being arrested oyu will be taken to the OSR dungeon and put in a plain stone cell with nothinmg to your name but [rolls oon table real quick] two day's wroth of bread, a serpent's fang, a pendant bearing the symbol of the storm god, and a quiver containing 1d4 flint arrows

hold on let me check my inventory. okay i have my whatchamacallit and my thingamajig. but no thingamabob. sorry.

hey man. nice regional dialect. mind if i apply some baseless assumptions about your personhood to it? i was also gonna prescribe morality to it as well. if that’s cool with you

official linguistics post

one thing about me is i'm always going to need #mynothing. sometimes I do just want to lay in bed curled up and not speak for a few hours.

When you thought it would be easy peasy lemon squeezy but it turns out to be difficult difficult lemon difficult.

are any of u gimmick mfs from 2024 still active LMAO😭

(+🪱)

king olmfred lives, yes

Hi \(^^)/

"my very photogenic mother died in a freak accident (picnic, lightning) when i was three" like come ON how did you write the funniest sentence ever by adding a two word parenthetical. leave something for the rest of us

still fuckin hate that “bee-free honey” that’s made from……… apples. bitch who you think sexed up those apples

A farmer, by hand and with love and care

wild bees still sexin em up when he’s not looking

old mccuckhold had a farm it seems

The lion does not concern itself with the bank account balance when a little treat is calling

The lion will never financially recover from this

congratulations to people who are good at performing conversations and social interactions. did you take a class or is it just like genetics or whatever

The class is Intro to Linguistics and the chapter is Pragmatics. I am dead serious.

official linguistics post