iomadaidh.

day and night in the Shire

1. Even if you do something embarrassing AND someone judges you AND talks about it to others, you really haven't done anything but improve their life. People like bonding over interesting stories. If I'm at the mall and I look strange or act weird, people at best don't care and at worst have a little story to tell their friends.

2. Talking about people is part of life. You probably have done it to others. What comes out of people's mouths when you're out of the room doesn't necessarily reflect their true feelings. Getting words out of your head can be how you check if they're true. Many people might say something mean so they can come to a more neutral understanding. We often think "said behind my back = true feelings" but it isn't true.

3. If someone is actually consistently talking behind your back in a cruel, mean way and being two-faced to you, that's actually them being in the wrong. You aren't responsible for that. You don't have to burden yourself worrying that you're doing something that would make someone act this way. You can operate as though everyone is being upfront and honest and not make concessions for passive aggression.

4. If you talk behind people's backs a lot and operate in a judgemental way to others, try cutting back on that behavior. It honestly helps you feel less scared of others talking about you.

5. If your friend group talks a lot behind people's backs and judges or harasses others for fun, try to discourage that behavior or step away. Seeing people obsess over others isn't good for your health, and those people's behavior isn't normal. Same with hanging out on dramamill websites etc.

6. If you actually concretely find people actually talking behind your back a lot, analyze why. It could be that it's bullying, but it could also be that people don't feel safe telling you their feelings. Think about how you treat others.

Sisters