I cannot be bothered to die.

I'm really bad at marathon, but the good news is that everyone who's good plays trios so everyone I encounter is bad too.

The worst thing in mres, consistently, is the chocolate protein drinks. Just the worst. They never dissolve right so you get big clumps of powder mixed with gross watery drink around it.

Haters will be like "I wish I lived in the woods" then hate camping because of the bugs.

Mario if he was advertising his new game and was actually from Brooklyn: hey it's me, Mario. Here to tell ya all about my latest game, Super Mario and the fuckin' guy. Me and my brother Luigi are back at it again, kicking ass, taking names, and banging hot broads. So buy it today or I'll break your kneecaps.

Congrats to marathon for actually using the term fascist in the correct and accurate form without just using it as a synonym for tyranny.