curiosity didn't kill this cat.

don’t they know  ———

jesse’s active blogs list ! from most to least active.

“Once they pull apart their skin, an alien comes out.”

“They had donuts in 1947? How old are donuts?”

“Why didn’t he go to the police?”

“There is no internet, by the way. It was 1967.”

“He had smooth, plastic-like skin like a doll.”

“In the off chance that this actually happened, how shitty would that be?”

“If you tell a story like this, no one’s gonna believe you, and you’re gonna look like a crazy person.”

“Why is it some weird alien organization coming after them?”

“Stop looking for aliens, you pesky human.”

“No one’s gonna die now, right?”

“Are basketball players aliens?”

“Ultimately, it comes down to what you believe.”

“Alright, approach with an open mind.”

“So this is just a bunch of hobos and rapscallions meeting down by the train tracks.”

“Actively recruiting people into the secret society is criminalized.”

“28% of people probably believe that the sun moves around the earth.”

“I’m just saying, people are dumb.”

“That’s not creepy? It didn’t make your spine tingle a little bit?”

“Let’s hop down the rabbit hole.”

“People believe that lizard people control our society.”

“You’ve got a lot of time on your hands, if you’re Lucifer.”

“Hell is supposed to be an awful place. I imagine the place is terribly maintained.”

“Xeroxing is not how cloning works.”

“He looks like he just pooped his pants.”

“I love how you out yourself as a crazy person.”

“Nothing is impossible.”

“This dude’s the real deal.”

“We better stock up on some knowledge here otherwise we’re gonna get murdered by ghosts.”

“I promise you will regret that statement.”

“What’s the difference between a ghost and a demon?”

“I would do nothing to invite them into any kind of conversation.”

“I feel a lot better about what’s about to happen.”

“I feel so comforted right now and where we’re about to go is the complete opposite.”

“I’m not gonna lie, I’m afraid right now.’

“Got our holy water and our demon tips.”

“When the lights go off, this might be a little different.”

“You are full of shit if you do not feel strange right now.”

“I assure you that half the places you’ve ever been people have died there.”

“Someone probably died at the Chipotle we just ate at.”

“Well, I think I know the end of this story.”

“If you can live forever, great.”

“That’s why she didn’t live forever –– she found a loophole!”

“I can’t imagine a ghost would get foiled into falling into those bushes down there, but the thought is nice.”

“This is a theory that people believe and I’m just relaying it.”

“People are idiots.”

“I’m glad we agree on something for once.”

“This looks like a nightmare, that’s fun.”

“[sarcastically] This is highly unusual. I’ve never seen it do this before.”

“This is horrifying. I bet [name] wouldn’t do this.”

“Naturally, one of the creepiest places in the house is the basement.”

“Why I’m talking over here by my-fucking-self is beyond me.”

“You piece of shit, [name].”

“You’re crouching in here like some sort of cave creature.”

“You almost scared me to death. I’m never going to forgive you for that.”

“Do you believe ghosts are real?”

“Hey, ghosts! Tussle my hair!”

“Give me a purple nurple or something.”

“You’re the worst.”

“I think I may murder you myself.”

“We don’t have to go to our next horrible place until tomorrow.”

“This mirror is literally dripping blood from it.”

“We’re on our way to a nightmare.”

“That’s how easy it is to trick us.”

“That’s what people usually say on the way to their death.”

“I feel like a big weeny.”

“This is the beginning of a horror movie right now.”

“Well, this seems all horrible and awful in general.”

“I’m more concerned about the spiders than I am the ghosts.”

“I thought I got bit in the ass cheeks by a spider.”

“The dead girl was not confirmed.”

“The spiders probably ate her.”

“He has a lifelong mission to appease the ghosts.”

“He probably fucks the dolls. Can I say that?”

“I did touch it. Oh, god.”

“Holy, shitballs!”

“Fuck that, let’s go.”

“It’s gonna be the showdown with a demon.”

“Everyone thinks feeling energy is bullshit, but you really don’t feel anything at all?”

“Taking selfies with demons, whaaaaaaat?”

“i’m just gonna get the fucking holy water.”

“We foolishly plan on sleeping here, for some reason.”

“I live my life by one thing –– don’t fuck with demons.”

“I think this is all bullshit.”

“You’re telling me that you wouldn’t be unnerved by finding a bunch of stuffed animals organized into a little cult circle when no one did it?”

“Demon? Demon? I want to talk to the demons!”

“If you don’t like us, turn the light on.”

“Where’s my holy water?”

“I don’t think they have the power to turn it back on again.”

“Are you fucking kidding me??”

“Keep in mind, we have to sleep here tonight.”

“We should have never talked to it, dude.”

“This is what I love about the paranormal. People are always like, ‘where’s the evidence?’, but then when evidence finally appears it’s like ‘fake!’.”

“If you slit my throat tonight, I will have a hard time forgiving you for that.”

“Will you haunt me for the rest of my life?”

“I won’t haunt you because I’ll be dead. Ghosts aren’t real.”

“Demons will appear as children.”

“That demon is racist!”

“Fuck that demon. He’s whitewashing the haunting of this house!”

“I don’t respect this demon.”

“If you’re there in the hole and wanna speak to us, turn that flashlight on.”

“If you wanna eat my heart, turn that light on.”

“I think that demon’s a wimp!”

“Rock and roll, buckaroo.”

“Fuck this house, dude, fuck this house so hard.”

“If I wake up tonight, and there is this grotesque-looking thing next to me, and just staring at me with its stupid fucking beady eyes open, I’m gonna shit myself.”

“I’m gonna get closer to you.”

“Every creak you hear is gonna make your butthole tighten.”

“I just think it’s silly to give up at the last minute, but whatever.”

“Did you just call the demon a motherfucker?”

“Fuck that house, goodbye.”

“Ghost and/or demons are real.”

“I’m glad it happened, because we got to see you turn into a babbling mess.”

“It’s gonna be fun to watch you freak out some more.”

“You disobeyed everything he said.”