Walking Shitpost

you and I were like. pees in a pod. oops sorry i accidentally peed in your pod. anyway as i was saying you and i are pretty fucking similar

Male loneliness this, male loneliness that. Have they tried lobotomies? Tranquilizers? Being fingered by medical professionals? Tearing the yellow wallpaper off the walls of the attic room where your husband keeps you locked up?

[steals your baby immediately after his birth][raises him][trains him in the ways of an ancient martial art invented by cormorant fishers in 700 ad for 13 years][enters him in a tournament][he loses in 4 rounds] ok whatever. you can have him back

this and a blunt

Stealing this from twitter but I liked the concept: put in the tags where were your 8 great-grandparents from (given modern borders) ?

these bitches would think i'm lao tzu

Not book smart or street smart but a secret third thing.

supid

supid.

very cruel to put this much love inside the body of such an unloveable creature

for sale: Baby Shoes Stylish Infant Boy Girl Unisex First Walker Shoes Toddler Walking Crib Shoes Lightweight Non-Slip Sneakers For 6 9 12 18 24 Months Baby Shoes New With Tags New In Box Excellent Condition Never Worn

crazy how there are only 2 hours of doing things every day before you keel over and die. if this werent normal id be worried

Oh to be the Chosen One [Monterey Bay Animal Care Staff] Who Wields The Sacred Swizzle Stick [an acrylic rod] and Gently Agitate The Water To Untangle The Jellies