Unpretty Little Mind

Yoongi x Reader

Sum: He knows the truth and all he has to do is to write it down.

Genre: I’m not sure

Words: 1668

A/N: Pretty normal, not too hard, not too miserable. Just. Normal. Enjoy

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Too much, too less. Too complicated, too plain. People were right, feelings can’t be hide that easily. Can’t be shown that freely either. Even through hundred words. 

One, three, ten notes were wasted for nothing. Paper covered the cold tiles, crumpled, ripped, and stained with ink. Every one minute another crumpled paper would join the rest one the floor. Only a single light illuminated the room, where he was in, locking himself for days.

Something was off.

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It was another day in the studio, another torturing day. Min Yoongi never thought spending nights on the studio would be this suffocating. For the last week he couldn’t think anything meanwhile Namjoon already got more than he should. He cursed under his breath for only god knew how many times. He tried to write something, but he got nothing on his mind. He screamed in frustration. Then the door was being slammed open.

“Hyung, you should rest. It’s been almost 2 weeks.” Jimin jumped in with a worried look.

“No, I can’t. You better get out and stop disturbing me.” He didn’t even look at the younger boy.

“You didn’t even rest on the dorm, you’re dying, hyung! We are all worried about you. At least get out and have lunch with us.” Yoongi gave him zero reaction.

“Yah! Min Yoongi! You better get your ass up out from here right now, or else I’ll do it for you!” the eldest screamed from the door before slammed it made the two boys couldn’t react. Yoongi had no choice otherwise he wanted Jin hyung who dragged him out. Jimin walked beside him, stole glances every 5 seconds. He knew Jimin had something to say to him, and the boy did.

“Hyung, what would she said if she knows about you right now?” Yoongi raised an eyebrow. “Y/N” The mention of your name made him stop in track.

“She has nothing to do with this.”

“Are you sure? It doesn’t seem like that to me and the other. You stared to become a mess after you broke up with her. Why don’t you—” Yoongi shot a dead glare to Jimin and he stopped immediately.

Yoongi walked faster leaving Jimin behind. But he still could heard what Jimin said, “Ah… I really want to see her. I miss to see you both together you know.”

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He stared at the ceiling in his studio. For hours he didn’t touch his pen nor notes. His mind were wandering somewhere. Jimin’s question earlier haunted him like a ghost. ‘What would she said if she knows’. He knew what you probably would do, but he couldn’t wish to see any of that. Not anymore. Not after he abandoned you for his own selfishness. Without one single apologize. He was the one who threw himself into the depth of the ocean, let himself drown deeper.

The fact that everything was over between the both of you was something he didn’t want to talk about. For him, what is over that means over, but in reality it went the opposite. He tried these past 2 weeks to be professional, as always, the professional Min Yoongi who destroyed his own relationship for his work. Unfortunately he couldn’t even produce one simple good lyric.

Something was off…

Now his broken relationship was the one that destroyed the professional Min Yoongi. He was really composed when he had you, but he let you go. He even hurt you, the girl who held his heart in her hands. And he realized that you took it away with you when you left through that door, left him empty. He realized it too late.

He screamed once again in frustration. He shouldn’t thought about another things when he supposed to produce some music. He nearly lost his sanity. Then the door suddenly opened, stole his attention. Namjoon entered with two cups of coffee in hands, and smile. “Break?”

“How is it going, hyung?” Namjoon asked, resting his elbow on his knees.

“Worse.” He answered while covering his eyes with his arm. Namjoon didn’t say anything. “I’m lost. I’m nothing but a mess right now. I can’t even think straight.”

“We all know that, you make us really worried. But you can’t keep being like this, hyung.”

“I know, I know. I’m sorry.” He straightened his seat and reached for his cup. “Joon-ah, what do you think about when you write your lyrics?” Namjoon paused for a while looking back at the older boy.

“I always write my feelings down of course. It’s not like I don’t think about anything but everytime I write something, it comes from both my heart and my mind. About what I have felt before or at the present time. You yourself know about my lyrics, it based on my real experiences.” Namjoon shrugged. When his hyung didn’t give any reaction, he sighed loudly, pulling his chair closer to Yoongi.

“Hyung, listen. Lyric isn’t about a bunch of beautiful or meaningful words. Lyric is a message that the writer wants to deliver to people so they could feel the emotions as the song being played. It’s about what you want to express through words when your mouth can’t. Try to be honest with your own feelings, hyung.” Namjoon gave him his famous dimples smile. “I know you have a lot to be written down.” He patted Yoongi on the shoulder before stood up and left the room.

He processed what Namjoon just said in his mind. Being honest? He took a deep breath before grabbed his pen and notes. What was it in his mind? What was it in his heart? What was it he wanted to tell about? Y/N. He only could think about one person, who had been haunting him these past weeks. In the end, you were the one who become his muse.

He wrote down everything he had in mind. And indirectly he hoped you were willing to hear his honesty even just one time. How much he regret his action, how much he loves you. He needed you and he knew.

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Loving someone both beautiful also can cause a severe heartbreak. As for you, the last one. Almost 2 month you were lost in nothing but your own misery. It should be easy, shouldn’t it? You were unneeded, he had lost his love for you so it should be easy for you to let go.

‘Why should I stay with someone who no longer care?’

The worst night, when one decision changed everything. You thought you were ready, but you weren’t. The pain was too great. Just by his name, your heart ached more than you could handle. But you pretended you were okay, you had move on so no one would worried about you. Or just to showed you could go on without him. And you made them believe it, but not all. Including yourself.

Maybe that was why you found yourself sitting on your seat, agree to come with your best friend who has a free pass to this music show even though you knew he was there.

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The light illuminated the main stage, showing the breath taking stage décor, fitted well with the song they would perform. The music started and the boys got into their choreography. The choreo was beautiful but the song, the words they sang sure took away the audience’s heart, broken their heart as it did to the composer.

Yoongi could see from where he stood, the fans started crying. He scanned the whole studio curios of the respond his song created.

Then his part came, all those words he wrote for the girl in his life came out smoothly as if he was talking to the person. Yes, it was what he did. He wanted that girl to know that he was sorry. He was a fool, and he regret to not stop her that night, to let her slipped out of his hands. To hurt her.

That girl must hated him for his stupidity, when he was all jerk to her. Now he couldn’t call her his girl anymore, she was no longer his. He hoped he could tell her sooner, to scream out loud that he needs her. He loves her.

“My feeling was never go easy on me. It wasn’t a game, girl. I need you back.” 

In mid sentences of his rap, he almost stopped in track, his eyes glued to one person. That girl. You. Among all the girls in the room, he spotted you. He couldn’t believe his eyes. Maybe because you were in the second row. And maybe that was also the reason he could see the tears in your eyes, you heard him. You heard his silent scream. His eyes was teary as well and he finished his line with all the emotion he held.

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The show was over and he only had one thing in his mind. He might be blind, he might be stubborn, and he might be careless but he didn’t care when he finally found his way back home. His real home. He ran as fast as he could. You shouldn’t be too far.

Call her.

For the first time he learned to follow his heart. First ring, second ring, third ring.

Weird, he could hear a familiar music, faint but clear enough for his ears, your ringtone. Slowly turning his head, his eyes met with a pair of another eyes, the one that he sure he wanted to see every morning from now on.

He turned his body made you both facing each other, the ringtone still played as the backsound. You took the device to your ear before push the button. You couldn’t say anything. Just made a clear way for his voice to reach you. 

He was not good with words, but he had to say it. And you gave him the time, once again. As he wished, to reached you.

“Forgive me.”

“I love you”

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IDK how is it going, I’m sorry if not reach your expectation. I’m still learning :)

Jungkook x Reader

Sum: You just need one person for the rest of your life, but what if they have more that just you?

Genre: Angst + fluff

Forgive me for made this, and if this doesn’t reach your expectation. This is cliche, i swear.

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You knew this was wrong, you and this relationship. You dragged yourself into all of this mess instead ended it when you have the time. A simple “NO” would make an end, but you put a “YES”. And here you were, standing in the middle of crumble relationship.

Your mind knew which one is the best but your heart kept whispering sweet nothing. Sweet nothing to found its other piece. To made you stay.

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3 months ago

You heard him talking in his phone. Again. You never bother to ask, you know it was always her, from the way his voice sounded. Why? Even in your vacation?

“Y/N, let’s take a walk. I want to see the sunset.” He said right after finishing his phone call, and you just smiled. “Put your summer dress.”

“Why? It’s almost dark outside, and it’s cold Kook.”

“Just wear it.” he smiled brightly. Strange. You thought. He seemed weird since this morning. But you didn’t wanna know anymore what he had been plotting behind your back. You waited for the right time to end his game. He took you upstairs instead to the beach. His hands kept fidgeting and he took a glance at you every 5 seconds. You were getting more uneasy. Not until you reached the rooftop. He leaded you by the hands. You couldn’t deny that the view from there was a lot better, no, it was beautiful.

“Beautiful isn’t it?” he asked as if he could read your mind. “It’s written all over your face Y/N.” he laughed. You looked at him. Somehow you forgot how much you loved him. You still do. Maybe that was the reason you still couldn’t confront him for his betrayal and freed yourself.

Your mind got interrupted when suddenly a lot of people came out with big bouquet of roses, circling the both of you. Jungkook bended down, getting on one knee, a velvet blue box in one hand. Your eyes widened. “Jungkook.” Was all you manage to said.

“I’ve made my decision. Actually I wanted to do this since a long time ago. I’m afraid, to hear your answer, but I have to ask you or else I will regret it forever.” Your eyes were blurred when he took your hand in his and continued. “Y/N, I want you to become the part of me. Spend the rest of my life with you. Have our own little family. I love you Y/N.” and your tears fell free from your eyes. “Will you marry me?”

How could he? You never expect he would ask you to marry him. You should end it quickly. But, was it because of the sincerity in his eyes or your stupidity you didn’t know, you said, “Yes.”

In an instant he lifted you and kissed you passionately. He grinned, nibbling at your lower lip. He couldn’t hide his excitement and kept saying ‘I Love You’ like a spell. The opposite from you who felt terrible. You threw yourself into the storm you both created.

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“Who is it?” Jimin asked softly after you put down your phone.

“Him.” And he nodded his head understood. “He said he’s gonna come home late.” You stared at my phone as if it was Jungkook. Jimin took your hand in his and smiled, reassuring you. You weren’t sure yourself.

“Do you need a company tonight?” He asked. He knew about you and Jungkook, he knew everything.

“Why can’t I end up with a right person?” you thought again about your decision.

“Then why did you answer yes when he asked you to marry him?” he looked hurt.

“I’m not sure either.” You stared into his eyes. Maybe if it was Jimin, you wouldn’t be suffering. Maybe you would be happy, maybe—

“Just told him you don’t want to, confront him of what he has done. And run away with me.”

“No. I can’t. I can’t do that. We already got hurt enough. We play fire behind each other back. I keep meeting you, Chim. It shouldn’t get bigger than this.”

“He’s the one who hurt you in the first place. You sure know you’re still playing with this game, but if you stop here, the fire will run out. You can get the life you want. And I can give you that.” he demanded. He wasn’t wrong, what he said was true, but was it really the answer you need? “He has that girl, so why he has to get his hold on you?” The silence came between the both of you.

“You still love him.” He smiled. “Don’t you?”

Suddenly you felt the weight on your heart. “I don’t.” You answered him with a single sentence. “I’m sorry I think I need times to think.” You said before stood up from your seat. His hand stopped you in track.

“Take all the times you need. Call me when you need me, I’ll always be here you know.” Jimin smiled again before let go of your hand. You almost break just by his words, how cruel of a woman you are. Jimin was a good man. But also that man.

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You came home late and found your front door wasn’t locked. You entered the living just to found Jungkook with serious expression. Before you even could say a word, he cut you off. “Since when did you start to meet him?” You showed a blank face. So he found out. “Since when Y/N?” 

You didn’t answer, just watched his game. He walked to your direction in second towering you with his height. He looked, angry.

“Answer me. Since when? Jimin isn’t it? Is he the one you called ‘staff’?” he slammed the wall beside you made you flinch. You never saw him this angry before. “Do you meet him often? Every weeks? Every day?”

“Is it your business?” you fought back, glaring at him. You spent your time behind his role, saw him with another girl and even agreed to marry him when you knew what he did to you. At first you agreed to play along, that was when you meet Jimin, but now, he got out of his line.  

“Yes. It is! You’re my fiancée, soon to be my wife! Mrs. Jeon! Not Park!” his voice echoed through the apartment. “Is he better than me? What do you see in him that I don’t have? Does he love you like I do? How could you do this to me?”

“Shouldn’t I be the one who supposed to ask you those questions?” you said above a whisper.

“Huh?” he looked up at you.

“Maybe, he was right. I should have end this sooner.” You smirked before pushed him and grabbed your car key from the floor, leaving him alone. You heard his scream followed by sound of shattered glass. You didn’t care. You’ve had enough. How could he blame you when he didn’t even aware of what he had done?

No emotion showed on your face. Not even tears. You drove in high speed didn’t know where to go. You searched for your phone, you should talk to Jimin, but you remembered you left it in your bag right on the floor. You had no choice but to go back. You expected to face Jungkook, but he was nowhere. You sighed, he probably in her place. You called Jimin’s but no answer. You tried multiple times but still the same, until 15 minutes later he called you.

“Y/N, can we meet now?” was the first thing he say. And you said yes.

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You met in the usual place. You were taken aback when you saw his face. His lips were ripped and a bandage covered his right cheek “Chim, what happen to you? Who the hell did this?”

“Jungkook. We had a fight just a while ago. Don’t be angry at him, I did worse on his pretty face, honestly.” He chuckled, then smiled at you. “You’ve got an over protective bodyguard.”

“Chim—“

“Y/N, listen. Don’t worry about me. You better have a talk with him, he already knows. Actually by this fight I get to know one thing, he really loves you Y/N. I could see the hurt in his eyes. The same as yours.”

He loves me? So he wasn’t going to her place but to meet with Jimin? You look at Jimin with concern, worried written all over your face, and he knew it. “Maybe I really need a little slap on the face for falling in love with someone’s wife. You should hear the rest from him. I bet he has a lot of explanations right now. I’m satisfied, I’ve give him the lessons to learned.” He gave you his eye smile. “Now, go home. Settle this down. But if he huts you again, I swear he won’t last even a second.” he said, held back the ache on his chest.

You didn’t argue and left. He was right, he always right. You had to settle this down. You entered your apartment, no sign of Jungkook. Silence filled the room. You went straight to your room when a pair of strong arms hugged you from behind. Tight enough you could feel the owner’s breath on your nape. This familiar scent.

“Please don’t leave me.” he said. “I’m sorry, I love you Y/N, please forgive Me.” now you could feel a damp spot on your neck. He was crying.

“Why did you do that, Jungkook? Is she better than me?” you threw him his earlier question. He must heard it from Jimin that you knew about him and that girl.

“No.No one can replace you. I only love you. I know I made an unforgivable mistake, I hurt you and I’m aware if you going to hate me. But please don’t leave Me.” his arms secured your body even more as if he ever loosened his grip, you would disappear.

“Save it for yourself, don’t say you love me. You were aware about my feelings, but you break me even more and how dare you asked me to marry you?” you tried to break free but it was useless.

“Because that’s all I want, to build my family with you.”

“Shut up! Really how dare you Jeon Jungkook!” you jerked your body in his embrace, couldn’t keep your calm any longer. ”I hate you, you jerk!”

“Yeah I’m a jerk. But this jerk still need you. Stay Y/N.” he held your hands with one hand and your waist with the other.

“No! You better off with her. You both look good together anyway. She will complete you in the way i can’t.” your tears already created a river.

“Don’t say that. She isn’t you.” He whispered in your ear, his voice cracked. In a moment you wanted to turn around and hug him. But you didn’t dare to rip your heart more than he already did. “I want to end it a long time ago. I swear. She said, she would tell you if i ever leave her. I felt terrible right after I realize I betrayed your trust. But I couldn’t imagine to see your hurt expression if you know. I’m afraid I’ll lose you.”

“Then why you did it in the first place? So you’ll keep this from me forever? Now you have the privilege to see how hurt I am. I should have answer No.”

“No, don’t! Please don’t. Forgive me, Y/N. I’ll end it, i promise...” Your knees no longer had the energy to stand so you leaned your body to him which he released a bit of his strength. His body was trembling as well, apologizes could be heard from his mouth. You hated it how your heart softened at his words, you could spot the sincerity in them. But could you trust him? You were too scared. Then you remember something.

“You hit him. Jiminie.” You said after a long silence, and you could feel his body tensed.

“I—I lost my mind back then. I thought you would choose him over Me.” he paused. “But he told me everything. That was when I realize I destroyed all we have.” You didn’t say anything.

“I should thank him, for beat the hell out of me. Made me get my rational mind back, or else, I might not get the chance to see you again. His punch really isn’t a joke.” He chuckled a little made you turn to him. Your eyes widened and by instinct, your hand caressed his cheek bones up to around his eyebrow. Dry blood stained the corner of his mouth. He looked, worse than Jimin. He flinched at your touch but leaned in. He gave you a half smile. You couldn’t help but cry.

“Don’t cry.” He said wiping your tears. “I deserve to get beaten after all.”

“But—Jungkook. You’re bleeding. Let’s treat it.”

“Just hug me and I’ll be fine.” He said weakly at you. “Just promise me one thing, and I’ll be fine.”

“Anything.” You weren’t sure about your own answer but your heart took all the control.

“Don’t leave me. You can hate me Y/N, but please don’t leave me. I will end it with her, I’ll try to fix everything, give me a second change.”He cupped your face in his hands. “I need you Y/N.”

Your mouth couldn’t manage to say a word. “Please. One last time.” He begged you. And this time you gave in. You nodded, giving him the answer he needed. In a second, he connected his lips with yours, whispering small ‘thank you’. You could taste blood from his lips. It was the kiss you were familiar with. The one that you missed.

He pulled away and rested his forehead in yours. Smiling. You traced your fingers along the corner of his lips.

“Y/N” he called for you made you looked at him.

“Will you marry me?”

“Yes.”

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I’m sorry for my grammatical error. Hope you like it. 

Taehyung x Reader

sum: You can never lie. Your words do, your body doesn’t. 

genre : angst with a lil fluff

Cliche but try it out. This is pretty long.

The crowded city seemed never tired lighten up the night. Even when the hand of time pointing at 3 in the morning. Cold breeze caressing the trees outside, could be told by the window how low the temperature was that night. Your eyes staring blankly at the night sky, stars filled the darkness. Beautiful, but not you. You let the emptiness of the room swallowed you, leaving you with no marks.

He won’t come.

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You never thought you’ll get the peace in your life, especially because of this guy, who was now in your bathroom brushing his teeth as if he owned the room. Your bestfriend. Who else? You thought.

You were in your dreamland when you woke up by the sound of running water. You walked to your bathroom, opened it widely to found the boy almost naked with a towel around his private area, holding toothbrush and your toothpaste. Well, it was nothing unfamiliar, actually you used to it. But you still need your sleep.

“It’s 6 in the morning, Tae. I repeat. It’s 6 fucking early in the morning!!!”

“Did I wake you up?” he looked at you innocently.

“When you don’t?” you slammed the door and slipped back under your blanket, but you couldn’t sleep. That’s why you always hate it everytime you wake up in the wrong time, you can never get back to sleep. 

You went to your kitchen, making yourself some toast and maybe chamomile tea. You made and extra toast for him so he would shut his mouth. You were busy in front of the stove when he suddenly appeared behind you. Luckily you didn’t hit him with the frying pan in your hand. You pushed him aside and put a perfect sunny side up you made for yourself. You told him to sit.

“I’m shooorry for whaking youf uph so eally.” He said while munching at his sandwich.

“I can’t hear what you said, swallow first. More important, what’s wrong with your bathroom?”

“Here. Listen.” He moved his body forward as if he was going to tell you a secret. “I’m in a hurry, and I run out of water. Since I have your separated key, I came here.”

“How cliché.” You pushed him away with. “Where are you going?” he put his finger in front of your mouth, shutting you up. You knew what was that mean. Her. His current girlfriend. You nodded and he smiled brightly showing his boxy smile a few inches from your face. You couldn’t help but frowned. You hit his forehead made him leaned back on his seat.

“Just go, don’t make her wait. She’s already poor enough to getting you to be her boyfriend.”

“What was that? Are you jealous?” your frown gotten deeper. “How about be my girlfriend instead?” now a sarcastic smirk formed in your face.

“Hell no. Having a fuckboy like you as a boyfriend never come even in my dream.” And his expression changed. Changed completely, but you didn’t catch it. He stood up, grabbed his things and walked to the door.

“At least I have been in relationship unlike you. No one would ever date you, you monster!” He shouted before putting his shoes and walking towards the door. Leaving you stunned with your chin in your hand, you rolled your eyes. Used to his unpredictable mood.

“At least I’m not dating a man who’s changing girlfriends like changing clothes.” you screamed back, followed by door being slammed.

You spoke the truth. How fast Kim Taehyung gets a different girl every once in a month. He would show you his girl as if she was a new toy, honestly you always think they are . And you just nodded. You’ve told him so many times, one day karma would hit him so hard and you would be the first to laugh, but he pretended he can’t hear you, so you let him.

Besides, You never see the point of being jealous over his girlfriend, cause’ he always have the time for you, and will come back to you no matter what. You are his bestfirend, he won’t leave you.

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You never bother to ask him where he had been, he would always tell you, but lately it seemed like he forgot about your existence. You wondered why. You called him since you both promised to watch that film he bought last week. He answered almost in the first ring.

“Tae? Where’re you?” 

“Umm, I’m in my girlfriend’s place, we’re having a movie right now. What’s up?”

“What?” you didn’t misheard things did you?

“What is what?”

“Aren’t we supposed to— just forget it.” you inhaled deeply. So he forgot. “Enjoy your night.” With that you ended the call. 

He had a girlfriend so you couldn’t be selfish. It’s been a month since they started dating, it was unusual for him. Maybe his brain finally working and you giggled at the thought.

You drag your feet to the huge window in your living room, presenting the scenery of lights from the city and stars. One of your favorite place in your apartement aside from your bed. You love to do this, just sit there, thinking randomly, talking randomly when he was there, but he wasn’t. You should admit it, you was a little bit lonely.

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When he paid you a visit, it was two weeks after. You just contacting each other by phonecalls or messages. You almost scold him for leaving you alone. But you didn’t, instead, you were joking. “I’m sorry but I’m not buying anything you sell mister.”

“Is that the new way of welcoming a guest?” he raised an eyebrow looking down on you because the height different.

“Guest? Maybe you got a wrong address?” 

“Oh come on y/n, move.” he pushed you aside and you didn’t fight back, you just let him in.

You both laying on your bed, staring at the ceiling. You didn’t ask why he didn’t come over to your place. You didn’t want to make him uncomfortable. So both of you just enjoying your time as usual. 

He told you a bad jokes, you let out your famous sarcastic laugh, he threw chips he bought at you and you hit him. You both were dissing at each other, like you were on a rap battle. When he lost to you, he rose up from his position and tickling you, made you laugh hard. Your eyes already blurred with tears, so you grabbed his wrist and tried to twist it. But he was faster. He pinned your hands above you head and smirk.

“I win.” He said, and you laughed at yourself feeling defeated. 

He was the first to stop laughing. He didn’t take his eyes off of you, instead he stared at you more intensely. 

You felt the awkwardness and asked him to move away. But his next action left you froze in place. He slowly moved closer and brushed his lips towards yours before really kissed you. You were taken aback by his action and moved slightly but he hold you still. You could feel the warmth radiated from his body, slowly made you closed your eyes and forget about what actually you both did.

His kisses were slow, letting each second past, felt every single inch of you in his lips. He kissed you like he missed you, and yes, he did, but you didn’t know. To be away from you was killing him, torture him in the way you could never understand, he missed you like a human needs air. He couldn’t help himself. Especially when he finally could see you again, could savoured your beauty again.

When his lips moved more passionately with yours, it was like reality just slammed you back to the ground so hard you couldn’t breathe. You pushed him away from you, his lips leaving yours as if your heart also being pulled away. But you couldn’t do this. He has a girlfriend.

“You have a girlfriend.” was what You could manage to say, above a whisper. A hurt look stained your face, and also his. You both hurt.

“I’m sorry. I’ve to go, she’s waiting for me” With that he left you alone. Tears formed in your eyes as soon as he dissapeared.

What are you to him? Are you one of his toy?

And what is this mess in your head?

You miss him whenever he’s not around, you feel save every time he holds you, and you smile every time he smiles. You didn’t know, or you didn’t want to admit it. Never comes to your mind, cause’ one thing you knew, you should never falling in love with your bestfriend. Especially, he had been with someone. You know that.

But these unfamiliar feelings you had for him was saying another words. It hurt you so bad. So bad you sure you bleed.

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He never contact you after that. Not even a single message. You lost your bestfriend. Every night you spend your time staring out the window. Sitting on the floor folding your knees, hugging it tightly. Deep inside, you was waiting for him to barging inside your apartement like he used to, but he never came.

One night you decided to go out getting some cakes to make you feeling better. But maybe life said the opposite. Your eyes meet his, right in front of the café. You could see his hand intertwined with someone’s. His girlfriend. She was cute, tall and beautiful in the same time. No wonder his relationship last for almost 4 months now. 

He told her to go inside first. Leaving you both alone. You were about to leave when he dragged you to an empty hallway.

“Listen. Y/n, I’m very sorry. I want to say it earlier, I’m sorry. It was an incident. That was nothing serious. Just forget it okay? Can we be friends again?” hearing that, your blood boiling in your veins. Nothing?

“So it was nothing? Are you having fun playing with me? Yeah maybe that was nothing serious compared to other kisses you’ve been giving to those girls, but I’m not your hoe!” you exploded. How foolish you are to thinking it was something when it never was.

“I’m not toying you. Beside it was just a kiss, what’s so important?”

“It was my first.” You search for a reason.

“That was my first too.” He said looking at you.

“Liar, how I supposed to believe that?”

“I’m not lying. Even though I date so many girls, I never kiss them.”

“No, I can’t believe you. If you never kiss any of them so why me? We’re friends, Tae.”

“I love you.” and you felt your heart stop beating. Silence filling the air. You wished you were deaf for brief seconds

“What?”

“You heard me Y/N. It’s because I love you. Not as bestfriend, but as a girl. But you always say we are friends, you treasure me as a friend. What was that? You made me scared that I’d break what we have. And break what’s so important for me too. You.” he breathe heavily. You stared at him, completely taken aback.

“Being with you is the hardest thing I have to face every damn day. So I started to date some girls, but the stupid me will always come back to you. Even if you don’t need me as I need you. Maybe this is the karma you’re talking about.”

“No. That’s not right.I need you. “ you denied it. You need him. Always.

“Do you ever realize how many times I ask you to be my girlfriend? But you just toss it aside. I never joking when I said that. Moreover, you joking about me being a fuckboy. Whose fault is that? What am I supposed to do? 

“Why are you telling me all of this now?” but he avoided your question.

“One day I thought to myself maybe this is the best way, at least I still have you by my side, spending my time with you, cuddling while watching movies, falling asleep together and wake up with you. Title isn’t important as long as I’m with the one I love. I couldn’t ask for anything. Until I let my selfishness killing all of that.” he bend down his head. Avoiding your eyes. You didn’t know what to say. He felt that way? All this time?

How cruel of a human you were from his story. He felt the same way as you, who was afraid to falling for him. The different was, the reason you buried your feelings was you, the reason he hide his feeling was also you, wasn’t himself.

“That kiss, I couldn’t hold my self any longer.” He raised his head back, staring at you. “I had decided to move on, with her, but the idea of not seeing you after so long made me crazy. I missed you so bad I couldn’t control myself. You got my hopes up by letting me kissed you, but then you pushed me with the expression I always hate to see. The hurt in your eyes.”

“How wouldn’t I? Every girl will think herself being played when the guy already has a girlfriend.” you tried to compose yourself.

“Then let’s make things clear. I love you. I really do love you Y/N. Please be mine. What do you say?” you paused, stunned like a statue. Then you remember about the girl inside the café. His girlfriend. You weren’t cruel enough to break an innocent girl’s heart. She didn’t deserve this.

“See? You can’t answer.” He said when you didn’t answer.

“Your girlfriend.” His eyes widened. “Go back to her. We can’t be selfish. She doesn’t deserve to be treated this way. Maybe we need times to think.” You said before really walked away. You heard him whisper ‘So, that’s it?’ but not looking back anymore. Not for him to saw you crying.

--------------------------------

The melody of your ringtone was filling the darkness of the room, but you didn’t care. He stopped coming. Not even once. You didn’t contact him at all, as well as him. You were ready to cut all the ties you had with him. You and him were done.  

You spend your day as usual but strangely every night always turned out the same. The things never go back to how it was. 

You sat in your favorite spot in front of the window. Back then you had a company, now you were all alone. Only you and your repeated incoming calls ringtone as the back sound. You couldn’t feel your feet you sure you turned into an ice.

You missed him.

You never thought that words would come in your mind. You lost something so precious for you. Not just your bestfriend, you lost your soulmate. Not just your body felt numb, your heart also did.

When the silence finally returned, you heard a faint sound of footsteps.

The man who left you empty appeared behind you, meeting your eyes. You didn’t bother to move, just looking back at him with no emotion. He already took everything away. Little did you know, you did the same to him.

Then you turned your attention back out of the window. Your eyes started to feel hot. You were gonna break. He walked slowly towards you, eyes not leaving you. He noticed it.

He sat beside you close enough to make your shoulders met, but he said nothing. Just sat there brought his knees to his chest, same as what you did. 

“It’s over.” finally he whispered.

You knew what he was talking about but didn’t say a word.Your tears falling free from your eyes. He slowly took your hand in his, intertwined his fingers yours. It was cold as yours but as both connected, it became warm. 

“Can I say it once again?”

When you didn’t answer, he leaned closer placing a soft kiss on your lips. “I love you.” whipped your tears away. “Please, be mine.” and last, placing another kiss on your temple.

You closed your eyes feeling his presence.

He comes.

--------------------------------------

Long. just it. I don’t know where this came from, this is kinda cliche. I’m sorry if not hit your expectation.

He looked like he got possessed 

This was just another short writting. Just imagine writting a letter like this, for that person we adore and love so much.

My dear,

I dont like you..

Like isn't even compatible to the love i have for you. It's not like, it's love. It's hard. It was like that typical one sided love. The love that fans have to their idols and idols to their fans are totally different. I love you more than as an idol, more that i could handle. You love me as a fan. One of million fans. And I am just a fan. That how it is.

Don't sweet talking me, youre just gonna make me falling in love with you more deeply. I don't wanna get hurt more than this. Cause' one day there will be a time you would find the girl for your life, you'll be happy with her and i would realize how stupid i am, hurting myself for loving a man like you. But no regrets. This stupid me will love you even though my heart screams no.

Don't ever look down, look up, there's a thousand stars shine for you. Which are cheering for you. And i am the one of them.

I Love You, Sincerely

The girl from afar

----------------------

Cause' you have no reason to falking in love. When you love them, you love them with all of you. It's called sacrifice.

I don't know why suddenly i wrote this. But for the love i have, this is true.

Optional bias x reader (op bias pov)

Short drabble

You know you screw up when you just sigh and let those emotions and regrets drag you down to the depth of emptyess. 

-----------------------------

(Your bias is the main character)

I never make a wrong decision. I always doing great in everything. Everything around me should be perfect. I thought i was doing right. I was wrong.

However, i'm a human too who could make a mistake. But I never thought my mistake was all I need to drag me down. I let my ego took control of me, I let my pride whispered sweet lies into my mind, and I let myself abandon the person i need the most. How of a foolish I am.

I just felt my brain froze at the sight of you. And I realized hiw much I missed you. I missed you in my arms. I missed your fragrance. I miss you.

I wanted to run to your side and asked you to forgive me, if i could begging for you to comeback to me. Then I saw him. That random guy you were with. I stared at him and back at you. 

I lost.

And i did realize i was smiling. So this was it, life was so cruel wasn't it? Or it was just me who made the world turned its back on me?

My eyes refused to leave your form even though it hurt. You looked happy. 

You better be. Cause' if not, I'm gonna kick that jerk's ass and make him pay. 

For laying a hand on my most important thing. My half. My mind. My soul.

Fore made her choose him, and the worst, fallen for him.

She was no longer mine. It was all my fault for choose my pride over her. But I swear, I could never stop loving her. She took my heart with her. If i coukd just turn back the time. I would do anything needed to make her stay. If I could have her for the last time.

I thought i always right. But i was wrong.

I'm lost

-------------------------

Behind every mistake there always a decision. Think, before you lost the thing you know you can never live without.

Last drabble before my first scenario with name on it. I've decide to write down the thoughts that inside my head. Idk if it's gonna turn into quotes/poems/just sentences or words. I just feel like it..

Reader x optional bias

Short drabble

We have everything, yet we let go. We lost everything, and we miss them.

----------------------------------------------------

People says “Time will heal everything”. What a really sweet sugarcoated version of “In time you’ll get used to it”.

Remember when hopes still in our hands? We held into it with all our might, affraid of if we let go, it would shattered like an autumn leaf. Beautiful yet so fragile.

And now, here we are. Letting what we have slip out of our hands. The grip loosened.

Did we really lost it?

Did the love gone, left us alone?

Or it was just us who too tired to holding on?

If us was a mistake, i’m sorry. If our meeting back then was an error, I’m sorry. If what we had was a wrong story, let it be unfinished. If all of this things make you sick, just go. Free yourself.

Don’t ever regret, i know you won’t. This was our decision. Keep walking without looking back, we leave everything behind, or you did, and took the opposite direction. We will be okay. If not now, someday we will.

There will come the day when we wake  up in empty bed. Come back home to the emptyness of the room. Sitting alone at the counter looking out of the window with fingers tracing around the not so warm cup of coffee. Or cammomile tea, your favorite.

There will be moments when we look around and remember what had happened before and questioning ourselves, is that even real? Or just our imagination?

And there will come the day we’ll meet each other again, the same person we shared almost everything, the person that we promised we won’t leave, the person once we said our vow to but also the different person, the day we become stranger. Pretend everything within us never exist.

The path we took might be the last. We never know where the fate takes us. Maybe we will find our own destiny, and maybe I’ll get the chance to see you happy once again even though I won’t be the reason. And I hope I’ll also be happy with my own.

Our red strings was long gone broke.

---------------------------------

The fate may takes two lovers become strangers, but when it says two lovers meant for each other, fate never kidding. 

So i feel like writting a diary, but this's beautiful in my opinion. I believe somehow even when we're growing apart, if we're destined to be, we'll be reunited. Childish but yeah....

Short scenario with character name next, maybe b*s?

Optional bias x reader

Short drabbke

Talk is what us really needed before taking an action, don't let the mind tricks the heart. Cause' we never know if our decision breaks the other side as it breaks us.

Reader pov

I dumped him The one that hold my heart With a cruel way, did the worst thing ever And let everyone knows that it was me who being a jerk Saying i've gone tired of him I run out of love for him Which i never do. I love him enough to let go Let myself break us, or so you could say he was the one who broke us. Cause i couldn't push myself to said it. I keep pushed him away yet i'm the one who couldn't let go of his hands. But i should So he could be happy, His happiness isn't with me. I'm just gonna take him down. Thats why, please hate me.

---------------------------------------------------

His pov

She dumped me, or i was the one who ended it Cause i could no longer found the love in her that once belong to me. I hate her, at least i should hate her I thought i will be okay, but i was to naive I broke, i lost, i'm no longer myself, without her She is the world to me. How could she be so cruel? Doesn't she loves me? Was she not happy with me? What did i do wrong? I hope i could fix that, fix us. I need her.

----------------------------------------------

I just wanna share my thoughts lately, this one is one of that. I want everyone to get a happy ending.

Optional bias x reader 

Sum: When you had an argument with him and suddenly unncessary words slipped out of his mouth.

Drabble

--------------------------------------------------

"I should never ask you to be mine"

And his last words were her last push. She took a deep breath and wiped her single tear that sliped freely with the back of her hand. He looked at her and he was taken a back from the sight in front of him. His heart sinked at how broken she was. She gave him a thin smile, she didn't even know how she could still smilling, but at least it was the last thing she could do despite her state that night.

"So this is it, i understand. In the end -- ah, i'm sorry.. "

"What? You aren't gonn--"

"Let's just sleep okay?" She run her hand lightly on his hair, with her very loving smile that only his and his alone.

"You must be really tired, you better rest." She sliped her body under the cover, slowly moved to the edge of the bed making a distance between the two of them. It hurted his heart seeing her that far away from him. He loves her, so much he can't lost her. But the situation made everything complicated. He never want to hurt her, yet he did.

He reached for her from behind, his hands wraped around her waist with a strong yet gentle grip. He huged her close to him like if he loosen his grip, she was gonna dissapear. He burried his face in the crook of her neck, absorbed her presence, drunk the warmth of her figure.

She could fell his strong arms around her, his breath touched the back of her neck. The hug got tighter and she knew, he was break as well. Tears sliped from her eyes to the pillow, dampening the soft fabric. 

He didn't know words can hurt that badly. And you didn't either..

Is it really to late?

--------------------------------------------

When people argue, sometimes they say something that they don't mean. Word has power, the ability to controls emotion. But love can win over the hurt caused by words.

This is short, maybe there will be a long version of this. Just maybe. Have to think about a name first.

summary: when the lies  become drugs, the love becomes plain, and the selfishness refuse to let go of this bond called “us”.

optional bias x reader

------------------------------------------------------------

He says he loves me, I love him too, I do.

 How long was it? 3 years I guess, I’m not sure since when we start dating. It was sweet, believe me. We weren’t just a couple, we are friends, family, even rival. We’ve been through a lot together. Nothing can beat us, at least that was what people thought.

 Little do they know, we are ruined. We take in each other soul. What we hide from each other somehow became habit we can’t let go. We keep hanging on something faded. Us.

 We weren’t like this until one thing I saw clearly made me jump in into this endless maze. Her, a beauty that attracts his attention, more of, his love. I saw them hand in hand in the street, she made him laugh and he kissed her forehead, in front of me. I’m sure they didn’t realize I were there probably because they were in their own world. So this was why he had been busy with his phone lately.

 Cruelly, he chooses to hide it from me. What a good actor. I laugh at myself every time he comes home. He would wrap his hands around me and smiles brightly, as if he really miss me. I’ll turn to him, hug him back and smile. I decided to take a role, let’s make this interesting.

 ‘Are you not mad? Or sad?’

 Mad? For what I called a betrayal game? No. I’m hurt. I’m disappointed. This is what I get for trusting too much, maybe I should try to doubting more and being a little selfish? And that’s what I’ve been doing until now.

 Somehow, I found someone who filled my empty heart, lighten up my days like he used to. Someone that makes me smile even he is not around. But thanks to him, I can’t really trust this person, I felt sorry, And terrible. But we just met for a month, so everything could change. For now, who cares? He could do that, so do I.

 I’ll meet this person when he goes out to meet her, at lunch time, and now even dinner. Telling him I’m going out with friends or my co-workers. He believes it. My time outside started increase. He stared to ask me if he could go with me or if he could pick me up. Really? What’s got into him, was she to busy to have the time for him?

 One night I answered yes to his offer, and he picked me up. I asked to have some ice cream. We sat in the car eating our ice cream. He held my hand, talked about his day, about the old days, and about me. How he felt I was distance lately. Did he really being honest? I’m not sure of every word he says. Then he asked me if we could have a trip together. One full week vacation. Just he and me. Is that okay? Then he said he had a surprise for me. A really big surprise. I found myself waiting for it so I agreed.

 Then his phone rang. He picked it up, it’s her. From the way he spoke, it’s her. I didn’t even realize I was smiling. Now I really want to know what he had been prepare for me.  

 I regret it the day he surprised me. Today is our last day in this beautiful island. The sunset was perfect, along with the music that completed his words. A white aisle replicated of a wedding hall, decorated with flowers, candles, and other decorations. In the end, there was a white table with velvet dark blue box on top of it. You know what exactly situation I was in this evening. Every girl’s dream.

 He picked up the box and revealing a diamond ring. Without second, he asked me to marry him. My mouth hung open in shock. I never thought it’ll turn out like this. This game is going out of control. But there’s no going back for us. I said yes faintly and he hugged me as I hugged him back.

 I’m about to drift to sleep when he’s coming back to our room, phone in his hand. Every night’s always like this. He’s climbing to the bed and sliding himself under the cover, facing me. I’m facing him back and smile. This day become so special for him. He says ‘I love you’. And I say ‘I love you too’.

This game will never find its end. We both to selfish to stop. We’re still together in this. Maybe they’re right, nothing really can beat us, but there’s one thing, our own self.

 We’re storms to each other, we destroy.

 Just keep going.

 Until this kills one of us.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------

Somehow, betrayal breaks the heart, and somehow it makes the heart stronger. But in the other way, the heart’s getting stronger to break the others.

I imagined being in this situation and suddenly felt bad. Also felt right at the same time. Should i start put a name for the character? But who?

Let the heart leads the first step of this year, 

optional bias x reader

What is this, why cant you fell anything? Your brain still processing what actually happened, or what actually you heard. You are lost.

-------------- 

“Darling.. ”

“Mom. I know.” Followed with long silence. But you could hear sobbing from the other line. And you know the woman talked to you were trying to hold her cry.

“Y/N, a-are you—“

“I’m okay mom.” You cut her immediately knowing her behavior of worrying over you. You became silent, lost in your thought.

“I’ll come and pick you up and we can go together.” She insist after she found her voice.

“I’m not going. I’m sorry mom.”

“But he is your—“

“Because he is. I can’t pushed myself to go. Please, I beg you..”

Now she was the one who didn’t say a word. You just stare into your feet and looked up when she said, “Okay dear, just call me when you’re ready.”

“I don’t think I will. Maybe never. Can you take care of him for me? I know I’m being selfish, but I—I really—”

“Just one day. Come and see him for once.” She pleaded, and you were to weak to toss her wish away.

“Okay” was your only answer.

“I know it’s hard for you.”

You chuckled softly “As well for you.”

“Very, to be honest.” She was sobbing again “You know dear, I love you so much.”

“I love you too. Please take care of him”

“Of course I will. I’ll see you soon Y/N” and the phone call came to an end. You dropped your phone on the couch and heading to the bedroom. This was too fast for you, too painful. 

But you weren’t crying.

--------------------- 

There were too much people, too much pressure in the building. You really don’t want to come but you know you have to. You have to face the reality. 

When you walked into the room, persons around you took a step aside, they know who you are and opened the way for you to the main place that you would never want to be even in your dream. They were staring at you with worried expression and also confused. How could they didn’t, you came in with such a flat face, no strain of tears or swollen eyes. You in other hand ignored them completely. You had wear that straight expression for days and this was just one other day.

 You could hear they whispering such ‘there she is’, ‘she looks totally fine’, or ‘is she not sad at all?’. You wanted to laugh out loud but you couldn’t. You couldn’t fell anything.

 You stopped walking and looked straight to the view in front of you, you just stand there until you had gather enough courage then you started taking steps ahead. She was there, the woman who called you two days ago. She wasn’t crying like the day before, but everyone could tell she already crying over the night. She looked drained and deadly tired. Her eyes finally found yours and you gave her a small smile. People would think you were crazy for smiling but you didn’t care, and so her. She knew why, and you just let it be.

 She approached you and engulfed you in warm embrace. She stroked your hair and whispered, “You finally here.”

You just nodded and hugged her back. You missed her scent. You missed her, but every time you looked at her, it remind you of him. They were really alike. It hurts you so much.

 Her hug got tighter and you could felt a damp spot started to form on your shoulder. She was crying again and somehow you want to punched yourself in the face for couldn’t do anything. Anything for her, anything for him, and for you. You just stroked her back while shut your eyes closed.

 You slowly lead her to where she was sitting. She wiped her tears away and looked at you in the eyes. She tried to smile, but failed. At least you could tell it wasn’t the smile she usually wears.

“I’ve worried about you.” she said.

“Mom…. I’m fine.”

“I know you’re not. This is hard for me but for you… I’m sorry dear, your pain must be greater than mine for I know how much you love him. I’m really sorry.. ”

“Don’t apologize.. It’s not like we could turn back the time and prevent this to happen.”

“You’re right but still. If just… if….“ she was sobbing so hard

“Mom, can we not talk about this?” you looked away from her. You were sick of this. But deep down you had the same though as her, if just you were with him that day. If just you were there. It scared you how just in one day everything could turn upside down.

 -------------------

  You sat there the whole day, just staring blankly at the photo in front of you, you missed him already. You could felt your soul leaving your body. Your blood getting colder. But you weren’t crying.

 You felt someone tapped your shoulder and turned to meet with a familiar pair of eyes. He was your friend, and also ‘his’ best friend, Y/F/N. He greeted you with concerned smile and you just stared at him with no emotion. You wished he didn’t saying anything unnecessary.

 Gladly he didn’t. He tried to make you comfortable, he never mentioned any sensitive topic, he just accompany you greeted the guest. Only leaving you to grab some drink for you. When some people try to comfort you, there another type of person who keep pushing you to your limit. You tried to ignore it until…

“Are you seriously not felling sad at all? Cause you look really fine.”

You almost glare at the man in front of you.

“How a cold woman you are. He must be upset.”

Shit. Now you wanted to punch him in the face. “I’m sorry but can you shut up?” you don’t care anymore if you sounded harsh.

“Why don’t you cry over your husband? How could you be so calm?” he continued ignoring your warn.

You fell silent, hold down yourself for not explode in public. You, too, a human who has feelings. How could you not sad if the one who be the main character in this tragic story was your husband. Your husband, the man you love so dearly. You really wanted to cry but you just couldn’t.

 You tried to cool down yourself. You didn’t want to create another trouble. You took a deep breath and answer with smile, “Do I look like a heartless woman?”

He looked at you with wide eyes, which you reply with sarcastic chuckles. All around you now paying their attention to you.

“Maybe I am, I don’t know. I don’t cry in my husband funeral. I don’t even come to the hospital. Maybe I really am a cold hearted woman as you said.”

“Hmm, I’m sorry, I don’t meant to…. I just… um… you just don’t look sad at all.”

“I’m sad, very. But my tears just won’t come out. I couldn’t even find my tears, I found myself couldn’t cry. Do you know how hard it was? To not be able to feeling anything when the person you love so much leaving for forever?” you looked deep into his eyes. Your orbs turn so cold until the man in front of you freezing in place. Now you could found the guilty in his eyes.

“Even though I cried, will he comeback alive? Will God bring him back to me? No.” you were deadly serious. You could feel people staring at you both, watching you. Include her, your mother, or your husband’s mother.

”He is dead. He is lying on that coffin. All dressed up and beautiful as always but not breathing. He isn’t breathing anymore! He leave me, without words, he didn’t even saying goodbye. He didn’t take me with him.” Your voice shaking and your eyes felt like it was going to burn.

“O-okay, calm down Y/N. We should never talk—“

“How dare he? He is the one who heartless! How could he leave me alone? He said he loves me but…” you stared at you husband picture, he was smiling. How could he smile? You thought to yourself. Your vision getting blur and you could feel tears streaming down your face like waterfalls. You were crying hard. All the people were to shocked to even say a word. The room fell silent, just the sound of you cried echoing through the whole hall.

 Your friend walked to your direction with your mother in law. She knew you were never alright and this was going to happen. She knows how much you lost her son, how much you break inside. It’s your husband, not her son anymore in this case.

You were trying to get your breath but your head spinning and your vision stared to getting darker and darker, suddenly everything went black. The last thing you heard was your name being shouted.

--------------- 

  “Y/N, I’m sorry you couldn’t come with me.”

“It’s okay I understand, this is a work, not vacation.” You smiled at him.

“I promise I’ll come home as fast as I could okay?”

“You don’t have to be in hurry, just take your time you know. It’s not like you’re going for months business trip.”

“I know, but I don’t want to leave you for too long.” He winked at you and you laugh.

“Save it for later, you’re going to be late”

“Okay, I’ll come home early and bring you cakes.”

“Yeah, I’ll wait.”

“Thanks, I’m going.”

“Be careful.”

  And that was the last time you saw him. Now you know, that promise was just empty words. He will never come home.

-------------------------------

this is the first time, it might not turn that good, since i’m not good with words, and i’m not confident but my mind told me to write it down. maybe just one won’t hurt. what will people think about this?

A baby bird has to leave the nest and learns how to fly, so it can see how wonderful the sky is..

A ship has to be trown away by the ocean's waves, pass through the storm to get to the destination..

Even a butterfly has to be called ugly before becomes a gourgeous creature..