Invi

And a chaser, for those interested:

Some serious things.

I’ll cut this because contains some sensitive materials. This is basically my life.

If I could say something to this version of myself it would be that "things got better" that ten years after this dark period I'd come out the other side sure of myself and not ever letting another person derail my goals, even if it is working a dead end job right now. That I'm happier indeed being "alone" that in a sea of bad things, it helped me be better. That the child is safe and happy, the relationship is dead for better. Escape was possible even with 20 dollars to my name when I left. That through the worse memory and pain inflicted on someone. I'm still myself at the end.

I have regrets, but I also went on to do things others could only dream of doing with being a stagehand. That the betrayals shaped a thought process I needed. I am still kind and he did not win in destroying all my beliefs. I still have a sliver of hope for relationships but I'm happier in my solitude. It will take someone really special for me to lower that guard.

I've bought my own things, I have a cat again, I am still here and moving through the world. I've gained and lost friends. I've learned to set boundaries and enforce them fiercely. I do not let people compromise my growth and what it took to get here. I appreciate the help I had from all over. I remember the names and faces of those who were not there and let them go.

I am still growing and healing. I burn for myself now.

I do not settle for less anymore either. If someone does not meet my standards I do cut them off without hesitation. I had to school myself from letting my emotions run and ruin my life. That two years of temporary pain did not lead me to a permanent solution.

Strength was indeed my need during this and I embody that phoenix mentality because I did rise from ashes.

The best thing I can think of is how I never spent a single penny of my own earned money on that parasite. His own child hates him, and I won that battle in the end for him becoming a good person instead of being influenced by him.

and

There has to be something fundamentally special about someone for someone who is AroAce to be "I like this person more than my own solitude."

The erasure for AroAce people is very common and people who view it as abnormal are usually raised with the thought "I need to have someone in my life to share my life." More than someone who comfortably says "This isn't for me, and I don't want it at all."

There is interest. Just "we" say no because our comfort comes first. Selfish? No. Respected? Mandatory.

The Mothman Pride Collection is now live!!!!!!!!