Welcome to my quarentime filling

Ender_Fwend speaks in binary and they say: 

In a way, Drista is just like Tommy.

They're both unnecessarily violent, both rude and brash and find it hilarious whenever there's a less than fortunate occurrence to a hermit's base or belongings. They both have a past that stays under lock and key, though Tommy's sometimes slips through the cracks in moments of vulnerability.

Drista is quieter than the kid, and apparently younger, though the hermits sincerely doubt a minor god can only be 14. She has an air of omnipotent carelessness in regards to the mortals around her, and yet, the hermits can see even through her masked face that she genuinely cares for this loud child soldier with too much heart for his own good.

She doesn't make sense to the hermits, and in this one instance it makes them extremely nervous.

A few braver souls attempted to socialize. Grian with an offer to teach her how to fly with elytra, to which Drista silently responded by hovering in the air. Grian didn't know what to say, so with a polite goodbye he took off to the sky with more rockets than necessary. Zedaph approached her with an offer to tour his Cave of Contraptions, in which Drista asked how one of his inventions worked and then proceeded to tear it apart to see the redstone before he could speak. She only laughed when Zedaph expressed anger and dismay, and then threw the blocks back to him and disappeared. Zedaph could fix it, she didn't touch the redstone. Still, he only numbly stared at where Drista used to stand for longer than necessary.

By all accounts, she should have been banned by now. She griefed and stole and messed with players to cause their deaths, everything that warranted an eternal imprisonment to the void. Xisuma made his way to Tommy’s suggestive cobblestone castle where Drista was staying, having made up his mind. 

When he got there, no one answered when he knocked on the door, which was common. Tommy was often wrapped up in something and didn’t come to greet any guests a number of times. 

Xisuma let himself in, following the sound of Tommy’s loud voice to the left, um. Chamber. His stride was fast and driven with purpose, but he halted when he heard Drista laugh. 

Xisuma carefully peeked into the doorway, the new sound making him hesitate in his purpose for visiting. He saw Tommy and Drista seated across from each other by the fireplace, Tommy with the same blinding grin that was on his face on the day Drista arrived. 

“Okay, okay. Listen, come on, bruv.” Tommy said, looking up at Drista.

Drista sighed exaggeratedly. “You’ve already told me this.” She complained. Tommy raised a hand. “Come on, just go through it again!” 

Drista paused, and Xisuma envisioned she was pursing her lips in annoyance. Then, her body language relaxed and Tommy smiled. 

“Joe is the one that saved you.” Drista listed off, her voice mockingly deadpan. “Xisuma is the admin and let you live here. Bdubs taught you how to build.” On and on she went through every hermit’s name, and what they meant to Tommy. Xisuma blinked. 

 Tommy smiled wide when she was done, and playfully shoved her knee. “Alright, alright!” he approved in a fake tone of being aloofly impressed. “Come on now, walk with me.”

Tommy pushed himself to his feet, Drista mirroring him with a lazy float upwards. Xisuma pressed himself to the wall in the shadows as Tommy left the room not a foot away from him, Drista following behind. Xisuma held his breath as Drista paused and turned to right where the shadows enveloped him, her smiling mask looking as if it locked eyes with him. 

“Drista! Hurry up, man!” Tommy called from outside, and Xisuma felt dizzy with relief as the minor god turned away from him to float through the doorway. The admin waited a few seconds before following, peeking around the door to see what they were doing. 

Tommy had sat over the edge of his water feature that looked over the shopping district, dangling his feet over the drop. Drista lowered herself to sit by him, her legs crossed. 

“It’s beautiful, innit?” Tommy murmured, a look in his eyes that brought a tear to Xisuma’s own as he scanned the buildings of the shopping district. Drista looked as if she was about to shrug, but then instead nodded. “It’s...impressive.” she admitted. 

“This isn’t like the SMP, Drista.” Tommy said, and the minor god turned to him. “People are...kind, here. You don’t need to fend for yourself anymore, you can just...live.” He said, a raw hurt in his voice that Xisuma had only heard once before at his attempted birthday party. 

“I’ve never had to to that.” Drista replied, and her tone for once was absent of any mockery or vicious taunt. It was light, confused, and a touch wistful. Xisuma felt an odd twinge of sympathy that he never considered before. Maybe being a god wasn’t all it was cracked up to be in comparison to mortal life.

Tommy smiled again. He’d done so much more of that since Drista arrived. 

“It’s alright,” he said, and affectionately pressed against Drista beside him. “I can teach you.”

Xisuma backed away when Drista laid her head on Tommy’s shoulder, leaving them to watch the clouds blow over the shopping district. Maybe there was more to Drista then just carnage and carelessness. 

Essentially, a Philza from another timeline, one where his sons were still children and still lived with him, appears into the current dsmp timeline. The way he’d see his broken family shuffling about, trying to find their next step.

————————

He’d see Technoblade, grown up and wary. He’d hear the stories of when he and Wilbur planned the first downfall of the nation Wil and Tommy created. He’d hear how Techno insisted he wasn’t in the wrong because of how transparent he’d always been. He’d hear about how he dubbed Tommy a hero, telling him to die like one. He’d see and hear how this Techno spoke of traitors. He would then recall his Techno, still small and strong willed. How he would happily tend to his potatoes. The way he sparred with Wilbur in the mornings, just now beginning to teach Tommy the basics to proper sword wielding in the evenings. He’d think of how his Techno had dubbed that he’d protect his brother’s, no matter what.

He’d then see the ghost of his son. Ghostbur, as he was so fittingly named, being amnesiac and happy, offering everyone blue. He’d hear of the leader he once was, how he became a father. He’d hear how he used his baby brother and said brother’s best friend as child soldiers. He’d hear how he was exiled, his younger brother following suit. How he began his spiral of insanity. How Tommy tried to help, while Techno continued to feed the behavior. How he blew up his nation. How he had his father ME put a sword through his chest. How he still faced sorrow after death. How he was evicted from his home, how he followed Tommy to exile. He’d hear about Friend, and how he perished twice. He’d hear about how he was sent to the wilderness to die as a ghost. How terrified he is to return to world, alive. His head would ache alongside his heart as he’d think of his Wilbur. The young, free spirited boy back at home. The one who sang his family songs, and complained about sparring. The one who adored Tommy, and would never let any harm come to him. The one who still had breath in his body.

And then, he’d see his youngest. Little Tommy, who was currently taking his daily naptime back at his timeline. Little Tommy who was to turn 3 years of age in months. His precious little ray of sun, broken. He’d take note of the scars and injuries, from swords and arrows, to explosions and lightning. He’d see the hesitation in his eyes and hear the uncertainty in his voice. He’d see the fidgeting and flinching that would occur during simple, safe days. He’d hear the broken sobs and wails at night, whether Tommy had a breakdown or a nightmare. He’d see how Tommy would stare at lava or water, his gut turning as such a sight. He’d hear about his youngest’s time in exile, finally able to get the child to open up. He’d hear about how hard Tommy fought for his nation, how he loved it so. He’d hear how he gave up him most precious possessions to save the nation who didn’t love him back. He’d hear how his brothers treated him during their stay. Phil could only think of his baby boy, who still had the stars in his eyes. The one who adored his big brothers, looking up to them as heroes. The one who swore that he’d be as powerful, smart and great as his dad and big brothers.

So he decided to work to heal these versions of his sons until he found a way back home to his own. He’d do his darn best to pick up the pieces and mend them to something even more beautiful than before. It was subtle enough, his impact towards Techno and Wilbur. Dsmp! Phil didn’t even see the changes his double was making to the bonds of his sons, how he tried to mend them again. He didn’t seem to notice the other Phil sit down the two, individually then together, and spoke. How he would listen to their reasonings and sides of the stories. Then, he’d explain how even though they thought they were right in some areas, they were not excused of the consequences. He’d lovingly scold them for their mistakes and guided them to the solutions, letting them reach them on their own. Dsmp! Phil definitely didn’t notice when his double would disappear for days, weeks even, to who knows where. Everything was still the same.

Until it wasn’t.

It was when both Philza’s were walking down a simple path to visit Tommy, who was working on creating a more efficient farm. Dsmp! Phil wasn’t sure as to why his double was joining him to see Tommy. He was sure that his traitorous son only called for him in the letter he sent. Shrugging the thought away, he supposed it was due to him not knowing the location of his youngest son. Sighing, it was only then that he’d taken notice that Tommy decided to meet them at the entrance to his area. Upon seeing the two approach, the kid let out a happy cheer as he ran at them, yelling an excited “Dadza!”

Dsmp! Phil is confused as to why his son was ecstatic to see him, something that was a major change to the previous encounters. Nonetheless, he prepares to open his arms for a welcoming. However, he doesn’t take into account that he isn’t who his son was running to greet.

Tommy runs into the arms of the other Phil, who gently wraps his wings around the young boy in a protective manner. The child let out a shaky sigh as he playfully and jokingly wailed how he missed the man, who, in turn, laughed affectionately. Tommy would then pull away, face his actual father, and nod solemnly with a quiet, “Phil,” leaving his mouth. Dsmp! Phil didn’t expect his chest to ache so much at that. Tommy would ramble about his plans for his house not that his father thought of it as a house as the other Phil checked for new injuries, cleaning up the boy as he did so. He listened as his son gave his double updates on his improvement on his eating habits he had trouble eating? Is that why he’s so skinny and his sleeping status he couldn’t sleep well? He silently got to work alongside his double and his son, who chatted endlessly. It’s the most he’s heard Tommy speak in a long time. He listened with a tight chest as Tommy happily spoke of how he got 5 hours of sleep that night, instead of 3. He heard Tommy receive praise and support for being able to keep his meals down. He narrowed his eyes as his double happily gave positive feedback to Tommy’s updates to improving his friendship with Tubbo. But, it wasn’t until he and his double prepared to leave that he felt the impact of his absence.

“Wait!”

A freshly bathed Tommy ran over to them, giving his father a serious nod. After seriously addressing his father and wishing him a safe trip back to the cottage, he turned back to the double. His shift in attitude was obvious. A pep back in his step, Tommy happily gave the double items, gifts for those back at the cottage. Then, joy filling the boy, he handed the double a wrapped box. A gift. The double smiled as he unwrapped the gift, laughing at the eagerness and impatience the young boy held. Then, he’d see the gift. A compass attached to a red string. Two small emeralds were carefully strung onto the string of the compass. Smiling at the boy, the double turned the compass over to see ‘Little T’ written carefully on tape.

“I’ve, uh, enchanted it so that it always points you to me. Not my spawn, not my house, but me. Took a while to do, but I’m badass and all that shit, so I was able to do it!”

“Are you sure you want me to have this, Toms?”

“I trust you with my life, Dad. I’d love you to have it. That way, you always know that I’m safe.”

HE APOLOGIZED. HALF OF TODAY WAS HIM APOLOGIZING! AND YOU DON’T THINK HE WAS TAUGHT A FUCKING LESSON. THE c!TOMMYINNIT FROM THE L’MANBERG WAR WOULD’VE HAVE BROKEN HIS OWN LEG BEFORE APOLOGIZING TO ANYONE ELSE. THIS IS FUCKING CHARACTER GROWTH. 

HE IS SO FUCKED UP. SO MUCH SHIT HAS HAPPENED TO HIM. ENOUGH TO EXCUSE HIS ACTIONS FOR THE NEXT LIFETIME. HE IS ALONE, AND SCARED, AND WANTS TO TRUST SO BADLY - BUT EVERYONE FUCKING BETRAYS AND MANIPULATES HIM. 

c!TECHNO LITERALLY SAID THAT HE WAS USING c!TOMMY, AND THEN HAS THE BALLS TO SAY THAT c!TOMMY WAS USING HIM? c!TOMMY FUCKING LOVED YOU BRO -

HE TRUSTED YOU. 

NOT TO MENTION THAT YOU LITERALLY HID YOUR TRUE INTENTIONS FROM HIM UNTIL THE LAST MINUTE, AND EXPECTED HIM TO NOT GO AGAINST YOU? WHEN YOUR TRUE INTENTIONS ARE THE EXACT OPPOSITE TO WHAT HE WANTS? 

AND YES, HE SHOULDN’T HAVE GONE TO c!TUBBO, AFTER c!TUBBO BETRAYED HIM MULTIPLE TIMES. BUT THAT IS ALL HE KNOWS! HIS TRUST IS FUCKED. EVERYONE WHO SAYS THEY ARE HIS FRIEND, ARE LITERALLY PLOTTING HIS DEMISE - AND YOU ARE OUT HERE SAYING THAT c!TOMMY SHOULD KNOW NOT TO GO BACK TO L’MANBERG. c!TOMMY WILL ALWAYS TRUST c!TUBBO. ALWAYS. 

I’m sorry. But I will always be on c!Tommy’s side, because the kid needs a fucking break. 

At this point, I'm sorry to say it, but the one who gave both him and Tubbo the best advise was Big Q: "don't ever let anyone step on you" he says to Tubbo, "don't trust anyone and stick with Tubbo" he says to Tommy. And it's honestly good advice because, at this point, there is no-one else that deserves their trust. No-one else, beside each other, that even treats them like real humans. For everyone else they are symbols (a hero and a president), and symbols are not supposed to have flaws, they're perfect.

We often talk about Techno being used as a weapon, about how he was used and then thrown away every time. And while it's perfectly valid for him to feel that way, and to want people to understand that, he doesn't give the same understanding to others. Tommy was always expected to take charge in wars situation, from the very first war, he was always expected to have hope and stay strong (watch again the end of season one when the withers were summoned and everyone was loosing hope, who was the one keeping them organized? Keeping them strong? Keeping them from loosing hope?) he was always expected to be the one to make sacrifices for everyone else. We're talking about everyone teaching him "lessons" by time and time again hurting and abusing him, but what do they think made him this way in the first place?

He's not allowed to ever have anything to himself. He's not allowed to be weak. He's not allowed to have time to heal, he never was. (A very similar argument can be made about Tubbo as well).

These days Tommy’s first instinct is to apologize. Truly and sincerely. Even if he doesn’t even know what he’s apologizing for.

when phil told wilbur that he techno and dream blew up l’manberg to send a message i couldn’t help but think to myself

it hadn’t taken too much time for Xisuma to find the server id after that. The original intent for going to dsmp was simply to tell Tommy’s loved ones that he was alive and well, and possibly allow a few of them to go visit him, but now there was a mission of greater importance.

as soon as grian logged in to the server he could feel the lack of magic, it was worse than he had imagined. The communicator began to buzz with messages asking what the intruder’s business was on the server. grian reached to type a response before grian heard someone behind him

“what do you want, bird boy?” Dream asked with a irritated and slightly mocking tone. grian had met dream a few times before, particularly an instance in which he had managed to win a fight against dream, which he guessed dream was still salty about. “I don't just let anyone waltz in here.”

“I want to talk to Philza.”

“sorry, your out of luck bud. I don't know where he is. if that's all you came from then leave.”

“then I want to talk to wilbur.”

“really? well I guess I haven't bothered him in awhile. what's in it for me?”

“nothing. I just wont leave until I get to talk to him.” Dream studied grian for a bit. 

“fine. I’ll give you his coordinates. you have two days,you better be gone by then.”

“deal.”

Grian waited as Dream typed Wil’s coordinates. as Grian flew off dream smirked, wondering what grian’s reaction to seeing an actual ghost would be.

as grian flew he opened up his communicator, and sent a private message to phil.

Grian: hey, I wanted to talk to you about some stuff

Philza: what?

Grian: a lot of things actually.

Grian: firstly, I know where tommy is. 

Philza: you better be telling the truth. i’ll send you some coordinates we can meet up at and talk about this. I wouldn't put it past Dream to read the private messages, especially ones from someone he didn't invite on.

grian swerved to fly to the coordinates phil had sent him. he landed. it was a small clearing in the middle of a forest. Philza was already waiting for him.

“you must be Grian”

“yeah nice to meet you, I guess.” Grian said awkwardly.

“so, You know were Tommy is?” Philza asked. he seemed a bit nervous for grian’s answer, but hopeful at the same time.

“yeah. he showed up on my server a few months ago. I came here to let you know he was okay. he didn't want people worrying about him.”

“how is he?”

“he’s good. getting better every day.”

“that's good to know thank you.” Phil said with a smile. “I probably shouldn't keep you here, i understand if Tommy doesn't want to see me.”  Phil turned and began to walk away.

“wait, there’s something else I wanted to say.”

“what?” Phil asked turning back to face grian. the was a tear falling down his cheek which he brushed off.

“I-” Grian hesitated, trying to figure out how phrase it. He had gone over this moment in his head for years. “I’m your son.”

“what? how?” 

“im Wilbur’s twin. Ochav knew you might want to take Wilbur, so she never told you about me. I have been looking for you for years” there was a moment of silence between the two as Phil decided whether to believe grian. He certainly looked the part, and Phil hadn’t shared Ochav’s name with anyone, and wilbur probably didn't remember it in his current state.

“I-” Phil hesitated, then hugged Grian wordlessly. “im sorry.”

“why?”

“so many things.” Philza said, stepping back away from grian.”sorry that you had to grow up without me. sorry that you had to be the one to take care of Tommy. I'm sorry that after you searched for so long Wilbur is dead.”

“no, he’s not.”

“yes he is.I killed him. he went insane and begged me to kill him and now he’s a ghost.”

“no, he’s not. there isn't enough magic in this entire world to turn someone into a ghost.”

“then how do you explain what he is. how do you explained what happened to him?” Philza said.he looked like he was on the verge of tears.

“Watchers can’t die Phil, not even half watchers like me and Wil. the universe wont let them. he’s like that because there is barely enough magic in this intre world to sustain a watcher, let alone enough for him to regenerate.”

“Really?” Again Phil’s voice was filled with relief.

“Yes. this world has just enough magic to support on watcher. alone. not one watcher and 20 humans, let alone a watcher who was trying to regenrate.I know both of wilburs parents have wings, he would have to have them too. but he doesn't. I know that means they got cut of at some point and his body was trying to regenerate that when he couldn't even get enough magic to properly survive. in a place like this that would be enough to drive someone insane. If you aren’t able to feel how little magic there is here then wilbur doesn't know that either. it must have been like suffocating without knowing you needed to breathe.”

“oh. Is there anything we can do to fix it?” 

“theoretically if we take Wilbur someplace with more magic then he should be able to regenerate.”

“then we should. what about the server you come from if you live there there must be enough magic.”

“yeah. Id like to see Xisuma try to prevent me from bringing Wilbur to hermitcraft now. come on, Dream gave me Wil’s coordinates.”

as they flew Phil muttered to himself about how he was such an irresponsible father to let all of this happen.

when they landed at logstedshire the sun was about to set, the sky painted with shades of bright purples and pinks and oranges.

“hello? Wilbur?” grian called out. he waited a bit before a translucent man fazed through the wall of the dirt hut he was in to say hello.

“hi. Im ghoustbur.” he said in a sad tone. “have I met you before? you look kind of familiar. hello phil.”

“hello, my name is Grian although you probably don't remember me, i'm your twin brother.”

“nice to meet you I didn't know I had a twin. sorry I dont remeber you”

“actually, about that. I want to take you somewhere you can get better.”

“you mean become Alivebur? cause I don't want to. i've been told he wasn’t very nice.”

“Tommy’s there.”

“Tommy? Dream said he was dead.”

“he’s not. he’s where I live, do you want to come?”

“I guess so. I bet tommy misses me.” 

“then come on. Normally I would teleport us but there isn't enough magic so we are going to need to go to spawn and teleport from there.”

“are you sure?” Phil asked. “me and wilbur aren't exactly allowed near there.”

“yes. Its getting dark though so people aren’t going to notice us if we fly really high, and it doesn't matter what altitude we are at to teleport to another server.”

“I guess I should go now.” Phil said, getting ready for take off.

“one more thing.” Grian said, handing a letter to Phil. “Tommy told me to give this to you. I’ll try to get in contact with you as soon as possible.” Phil nodded then flew away into the darkening sky.

Grian and wilburs trip to spawn was uneventful. wilbur talked a bit about how excited he was to see tommy but quieted down as they got closer to spawn.

when they reached spawn grian began to cast the spell that would take them to hermitcraft. spells do happen not to be the most direet thing, both visually and to anyone who was sensitive to magic. Dream ended up flying up to see what was going on as grian was finishing the spell.

“what are you doing?”

“leaving, like you told me to.” Grian said, activating the spell.

A fic for @petrichormeraki​ and their Hermit!Tommy AU.

——-

The hermits know Tommy as a quiet young man who is very sad and contemplative. The more time they spend with him (against his will, but they know he needs the company) the more they learn of the little details. His favorite block is cobblestone, he likes building towers, and apparently his favorite woman is the Queen. They don’t ask why he wears a smiley mask even though he never seems happy. They don’t ask why he hides important things in his ender chest. They don’t ask why he wears a shattered compass on a chain about his neck.

(Once, he died in lava and lost his absolute mind. He was so upset about the compass that he didn’t even mention the stack and a half of diamond ore he had on him. Xisuma ended up manually rolling back the server just so Tommy could have it back.)

As time goes on, the tremors in Tommy’s hands grow lesser. His dull blond hair seems a bit brighter, his bruises fade quicker, he doesn’t look quite so skinny– he spends his time serenely building, resource gathering instead of running and fighting. He has a sense of humor under all that trauma, which the hermits unfortunately find out after another massive-scale prank war thought to be instigated by Grian actually turns out to be Tommy’s fault.