When Narsil was reforged

Why do you like sharks?

This post is blessed

finally a respectable merchant

i trust him

my favorite thing is the look on their faces when they realize they got the correct order

dead

sweet baby

😍

To be fair, in this metaphor, the uber driver is in trouble with the local mob boss because he was ferrying cocaine and dumped it out the window when it looked like he might get pulled over, so…

So the uber driver hooks up with the sister of the guy who first hires him, and it turns out that their dad is the Deputy Sheriff, and things go downhill even faster than previously imagined when they hit up a local truckstop for a bite to eat, fuel drop and impromptu family reunion.

Truckstop’s run by an old friend who he won his car off that one time, and the dude’s hitting on the chick he’s hooking up with and it’s like come on man, don’t do this to me but then the girl’s dad is there and he gets hit over the head and shoved into the trunk of the cop car and it’s like oh, shit. Fuck. Chewie man, don’t let them take my car!

@obi-one-drop

i prefer guys who make small dick jokes about themselves over guys who make big dick jokes about themselves

I nearly spat out my tea

take a fuckin sip, babes

Sure, cats falling off things is funny, but NOTHING is funnier than robots miscalculating the speed, force or angle needed to complete a mundane task. NOTHING.

“cat named Lyova. not giving him away, just bragging”