InsteadOfDaydreaming

About Me: Hi, I'm Drea! I'm in my 20s, actively going to university, but i have an interest in writing, this being the reason for me creating this page. Also, english isn't my first language, so for any grammatical mistakes i do apologize.

Additional Information:

I'm slow to write and send out updates, i usually dont have a set date to post my works

I don't have one specific fandom i write for, so you'll find a bunch of different things that are interests of mine

Masterlists

Kpop masterlist

I doubt I'll write anything more here but I want to leave it here if anyone wants to read them

~more to come~

Even if none of you said it out loud, you both hated this situation. It was clear for everyone. Your friends, your families, even your neighbours knew something wasn’t right. But they didn’t know everything. They didn’t know the coldness that welcomed you when you got home every day. They didn’t know this uncertain feeling deep inside your chest that made it hard to breathe. They didn’t know the feelings you had to face every day, the knowledge that even you know- you both know- what’s wrong, neither of you could do anything to fix it. They just didn’t know.  

This day was the same as the others before. The coldness and the loneliness was the same as you stepped inside of your apartment. You came home pretty late, but who was there to judge you? You needed time to thing. You couldn’t take this anymore. This wasn’t how things supposed to be, this wasn’t how life supposed to feel. You had enough, and you decided to take the things into your own hand. 

And when you got home, you knew Jungkook was still awake. Yes, it was later than you normally would got home, but not that late that he would be asleep. So when you took off your shoes and your coat, you made your way to him.

He was half sitting half laying on the couch, taking all the space, but when he saw you coming straight to where he was sitting, he quickl moved his legs to make space for you to sit down. 

“We need to talk” you started after a few minutes of silence.

“Yeah, definitely“ he answered, putting away his phone which was in his hands the whole time.

“I just can’t take this anymore Jungkook. We can’t live, not like this. It’s not good for either of us” you said, looking at your hands. 

“I know, i see it too.” he agreed. “But what happened to us?” he continued after a few seconds of silence.

“I don’t know Kook, I really don’t know. Things change, people change. We changed too. Our relationship can’t stay the same, when everything around it is changing.”

“I know, but that’s not enough answer for me. If everthing is changing, then let’s change our relationship too.” he looked at you with determined eyes, still with a little hope in his eyes, but that wasn’t the kind of hope you were looking for.

“There are things you can’t change.” you answered with a sad smile.

“But I want to. I still care about you.” 

“That’s not the same as loving, and you know that. I can’t give you the things I gave you before, and you deserve so much more than to live a life like this.” he stayed in silence after your sentence, and you saw the moment when he understood everything. And he didn’t argue with you anymore, you just both sat there with teary eyes, trying to process the things. You cared about him too, of course. It was impossible not to. That’s why you had to let this go. He deserves better. You both do. Cause even if you still care about each other, and the other is important to you, sometimes it’s not enough. Expecially if the love is not the same, and you both feel it. 

But it’s ok. Cause beside the the sadness, and the voice inside of your head telling you that you could’ve done better, it was all your fault, you felt something happy too. The beauty he showed you was inreplaceble, and you felt grateful that he showed you how love felt like. 

But you couldn’ force either one of you to feel something you don’t. Because beside the happiness and beauty you feel, there is this other feeling to. That you can’t take this anymore, and you feel like you’re suffocating in this relationship. Like if you were under the water: everything you see is blurry,  everything you hear is muffled, and the longer you’re under the surface, the more you want to escape, because you need air, you need to breathe. And you can’t let yourself fighting for too long, cause after the ‘want to esape’ feeling is gone, the one who takes it’s place it’n numbness. And that would be too late.

“I’m going to pack a few things and i’ll be gone the time you’ll wake up tomorrow” you said as you stood up, doing as you said.

You were barely able to make it home without your tears escaping from your eyes. You had such a stressful day- week- at work that it’s a miracle that you hadn’t commpletely broken down. Well, at least until now. 

As you step inside of your apartment, you instantly broke down to tears. You take your coat and shoes of with teary eyes, not taking much attention how much sound you were making. Which could be the reason why Yoongi came out of his work room confused about the fuss you were making. 

“Hey! Glad to see you home!” he said with his brows furrowed in confusion, but still smiling that you came home early today, unlike all the days before. After seeing you won’t share his enthusiasm, he quickly became concerned.

“Hey, what’s wrong?” he came over to you, and put his hands on your cheeks so that you finally have your focus on him. 

“Just...I had a hard week. I don’t really feel like talking about it right now.” you answered him. He quickly nod, and started to led you to the kitchen.

“I already cooked dinner before when i had time, so you don’t have to worry about that. What about you eat, while i make a bath for you?” he said with a gentle smile on his lips while he placed the dinner in front of you.

“That would be great.” you force out a smile at his thoughtfulness.

Until you ate, Yoongi made the bath for you, and when you finished your dinner, you head straight to the bathroom. Once you reach the bathroom, you finally feel a little bit easier than you felt the whole week. The bathtub is full with water, bubble bath in it. It’s smelling increadibly good. And of course, you saw Yoongi sitting on the outside of the bathtub, waiting for you.

“Thank you. You’re increadible.” You said to him while you started to undress.

“I know.” he shrug his shoulder with a smirk. You smile by his act, feeling a bit easier now that he’s beside you.

Once you undressed you sat in the bathtub, letting out a breath you didn’t realize you were holding. 

“How are you feeling?” he asks, squatting down beside you with a loving look in his eyes.

“Like someone who was knocked out in the middle of the street, and people wouldn’t notice it and just step over me.” you answered with your eyes closed. 

“I noticed it. That’s why your here right now- so I can take care of you” he brushes your cheeks with his hands, the feeling so light and caring you feel like you could cry.

“But I know a way you could make this even better. Wanna join?” you open your eyes to look at him as he hums in agreement, starting to undress. Of course, you watched him. The way his dark hair brushing over his forhead. The way his muscles move when he takes of his shirt. The way he looks at you in the corner of his eyes with a knowing smile. God, you’re so in love with him.. 

Once he sat behind you in the bathtub, you let your head fall on his shoulder with a tired sigh. You just sat there with him in silence for a long time, he caressing your arms, and you lying in his shoulder. After some time he asked. “Do you feel any better now?”

“A bit” you answered. “I don’t feel like crying anymore, which is a good thing. But I’m still not feeling well. I’m exhausted.”

“That can happen to anyone, it’s normal. You just need to take some time to yourself. It’ll help, believe me.” Yoongi smiled at you. 

“Well, I can’t say that you’re wrong. But I still have a lot to work on, I can’t just drop everything and go.”

“If someone, I can understand what are you saying. But at least a weekend wouldn’t be a bad idea. You have to take care of yourself, physically and mentally too. And by the way, I’m free for the weekend anyway.Don’t you want to spend soe time with me?” he looked at you with a shy smile. He knew you too well. He knew you wouldn’t say no to spend time with him.

“Fine. But if you are planning to do an active weekend, I’m staying home.” you looked at him with a serious expression in your face. 

“Do I look like a person to you who would do that?” he looked back at you, mirroring your expression. You both stayed at this for a while, until you burst out of laughing.

“Ok, we should actually start to bathe now, it’s getting late, and you need to rest.” he said to you after you both calmed down.

“You say this as if you shouldn’t rest too.” you looked at him with an angry expression.

“This isn’ about me right now” he gazed into your eyes, his face still serious.

**

After you both take a bathe, you got dressend and slipped into bed. Yoongi layed on his back, your head on his shoulder. Your armes and legs are tangled with each other. You just layed there in silence and peace, allowing your thoughts to fill your brain, knowing you have Yoongi by your side. Knowing you are safe.

“Thank you for today. It really helped” you spoke after a few moments.

“I’m glad I was able to. I don’t like seeing you sad.” his sentence filled you with happines,because you knew the meaning of it. He said I love you whitout actually saying it. You smiled at the thought.

“I don’t like you being sad either.”

“I’m not sad.” he said, his tone telling too much and not enough at hte same time.

“You know how I mean it.” you lifted your head to look at him.

“I know” he smiled at you, taking one of his hands to the back of your head, bringing you down for a soft kiss.