vampire enthusiast

Nobody calls each other “terminally online” anymore. I think that’s because everyone is terminally online now. Jobless too. And ugly as fuck. Stains all over our shirts. Stupid as well

Nobody calls each other “terminally online” anymore. I think that’s because everyone is terminally online now. Jobless too. And ugly as fuck. Stains all over our shirts. Stupid as well

They offered me a job as a fucker. Yeah you heard me right, a fucker. Job is to fuck things. Boss points at something and says fuck it, I fuck it. That's my job. And I'm damn good at it. Pays like dirt and wears on the mind. Wears on the mind.

When I ran a CVS a woman came in and started berating my 19 year old black employee and I was originally trying to do the "calm the customer down with service" thing but on the like, eightieth time she called him "boy" I just said fuck it and told her to leave, that I wasnt going to stand for someone to be racist to my employee and she argued the whole way out and concluded on "I can't be racist, I'm a lesbian!"

Context for anyone who is wondering: Lamine Yamal's parents won an UNICEF raffle for a charity photoshoot in which Barça players posed with kids, and 5 month old Lamine happened to get 20yo Messi. Which is like. Literally insane

stay vigilant. there are still people out there who will try to convince you that eating fruit is somehow bad for your body

not naming names but some of you are so creative and talented it's an honor to have you in my phone

"dog residue" post means so much to my ocd

>fire truck >look inside >water