bark

i love you rice with some bullshit

i really genuinely wish I could hit chatgpt with my bare fists and hear its pityful electronic voice fade into glitched robotic gibberish and choking beeps as I hit it before I smash it for good and it shuts the fuck up forever

It took him over a day to notice. So for over a day he was wandering round his house knowing there were beans somewhere, but not knowing where.

Kelp gull (Larus dominicanus)

why are scissors packaged the way they are it’s like they’re taunting us. Oh wow this is such a difficult awful packaging to get through that seems to cause physical damage to your hands as some sort of sick self defense mechanic, if only i had something to help get through it, something sharp perhaps

what sort of sick twisted game is it trying to play here

one day it'll happen to you. you will stay up a bit too late playing a video game and not get to bed on time. I've done it before, you'll think. I'll be fine. but no. you will make it through most of the next day and then at about 2pm you will feel like a reanimated corpse whose sim meters are all completely fucked and nothing hurts exactly but everything does feel very bad. and you'll think oh yeah. I'm not twenty anymore

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You should automatically get time off work until the light returns to your eyes and you feel like a real person again

"I'm not boiling the oil but I'm boiling him because the water in his body -- " SO DOES THE WATER IN A CHICKEN WING WHEN I STICK IT IN THE DEEP FRYER, BUT WE DON'T CALL IT DEEP BOILED CHICKEN WINGS, DO WE? Have some fucking linguistic standards. Fry That Man.

now this is the discourse i come here for

fucked up some bird tried to steal your car like that

He’s not stealing, he’s robin

delighted that this post has lived on in people’s hearts