Of course I’ll cast off for you

just ask that person out, the worst thing they can say is an esoteric incantation that topologically inverts your body

bro just take my fucking job application without a cover letter. we're literally gonna be in a mega economic collapse, you're not gonna fucking read it anyways. do you really need some fucking fanfic about me working at your business?? what the fuck are we even doing right now??

the urge to buy people gifts they’ve mentioned they liked once

I still love this website so much because it feels like the last connection we have to an internet that doesn’t exist anymore like I can come on here and scroll through posts that are literally just funny or beautiful or interesting with no intention to sell me something or influence me we are all just here for a laugh. Nothing is just for laughs anymore EXCEPT tumblr dot com

i can handle one (1) Event™ per day. whether it be a phone call, an appointment, trip to the grocery store, play date with a friend, etc. only one, that's it. any more than that and i am Stressed

ive heard if its all gone wrong and is fucked beyond repair you can actually use it for banana bread

"In the same way that your heart feels and your mind thinks, you, mortal beings, are the instrument by which the universe cares. If you choose to care, then the universe cares. If you don't, then it doesn't." -- Brennan Lee Mulligan, D20, Fantasy High

Oh no, oh no, he is seducing me with his deep passion for his field of study and his genuine joy at teaching people about it

"get his ass" is so hilarious. it's like the modern version of "seize him"