clumsy

​You have given me boxes to choose

to see which emotion i should sit with ,

​I went a long way in carrying my sensitivity

but it opened a new door connecting to all the boxes ,

​My emotions are openly abused ,

The shield of my fantasies are turning into sour as i grow up how ?

The coping mechanisms are expired Did I use all the trails now it's nothing more than a red cross in my list of hope to get my feelings back ,

How to summon my feeling of blank and feeling of all the colours into a single board ,I'm no artist nor a writer to feel full ,

Where do I dump my emotions

All i do is slowly taste them like I'm a trash can waiting to overflow with garbage so I will be cleaned finally,

to explain the wound you left me suffering from this time.

Did I make it all too easy to hurt me?

I feel like I live in a bubble—

hidden from the world,

but transparent enough for anyone to aim at my fragile heart.

Is that why my feelings get hurt, every time I float a little high in the air?

But why am I the only one isolated in the transparency you ignore to face?

My heart has broken a thousand times.

Every new bubble, a spark of hope—

destroyed when I was young,

As I reach the rainy clouds,

they despise passing my pain through them

rather, they knot me inside their void,

again pouring back into the land where I don't belong,

drowning my soul in agony.

I bleed into yellow just not to scare my dreams.

But now again, I'm flowing towards the Ocean.

She always says my pain can't drown in her;

it's too dense for her to annihilate.

She throws me to the shore,

where I spin towards the sky.

Is it just to leave the traces that no one can sense,

It's racing for emotions drowned in pain .

Daylight makes me sick , I am insecure worned as a suit.

Iam the culprit spoiling my imagination, I can't picture a kiss in my head any more ,

It's not a question of how long anymore rather it's the diminishing arch of my strength to be .

But they were imprinted in my blood once ,

But you just showed me a glance of my future with you , now I'm beelding all-over again .