#complex emotions

Grace: Sex!?? EW NO! 🚫❌️

Also Grace: Fully clothed soft griding/dryhumping with simon a couple times a month for a few minutes at a time then cuddling after??👀.... Count me in ✅️

But hi-key??? if grace wasn't sex repulsed, Simon would tear that shit UP. And possibly vise versa. Its not that Simon dosnt like sex and isn't a good lay, he just doesn't feel attraction. Hes still great at servicing his partner tho (if they ask)

Theres a universe where Rocky and Adrian come to visit and are just standing outside horrified (because they can see through walls) to see grace being thouroughly mated. Or simon. Idk I think they switch a lot. And I think they're cryers too.

"Grace simon make egg 😃"

"Finally"

".... Is disgust.. why leak while mating?"

"....agreed.. I dont know."

Type shit.

But that is not in my head lol.

Simon doesn't have "I love you, let's have sex" feelings he has "I love you, let me SERVE you" feelings, but since grace is lowkey repulsed, it works in his favor. Sex is transational for Simon. There's no attraction connected to it for him. He gets off knowing he did good serving grace and because it feels good, not because he craves sex.

That being said, I dont think simon knows he's Ace, tho until much later when they're having a conversation about sexual attraction, and Simon just is like, "What do you mean? Wait, are you telling me people want to do this all the time because they love someone and get horny for them and not just because their partner wants to??"

"...Oh sweetheart.."

Poor Simon starts thinking about his past sexual involved relationships, realizing that he was bassically being a sex worker, but instead of money, they'd give him extra supplies and be nice to him. He had thought everyone did this and actually a little sad cause he thought they liked him. Just him sitting there teary-eyed like "is.. is that not how it's supposed to be?" Now feeling differently about himself. That there's something wrong with him because he thought only seeing it as transactional and servicing was how everyone did it. Of course he knew in his head "If I have sex with this person theyll give me stuff and be nice to me" but it never really clicked to him that most people have sex because they want to have sex with that person not because strictly pleasure and benifits.

Poor Grace feels terrible. He assumes Simon must have been taught this and he couldn't see elders of Eden being like "Oh btw followers, Sex is supposed to be about attraction so if you dont feel that way youre probably Ace" so it made sense he didn't know until now.

Mono no aware

Here is an obscure emotion that took me a few days to understand but Mono no aware is a Japanese idiom that describes the feeling of bittersweet and a deep appreciation for the impermanence of life. it can be translated as "the pathos of things."

If this is confusing, it's the feeling of nostalgia but instead of longing for the past, Mono no aware longs for the present moments. The moments where life and time becomes still as you appreciate the beautiful sensation of euphoria, however you're sadden that the sensation won't last for long.

…Mydei with Helen of Sparta!Reader.

That is all…

Where the Winds Converge

Summary: In the mist-covered ruins of Castrum Kremnos, the Undying prince, Mydei, and the Spartan warrior, you, cross paths amid the chaos of battle. Both burdened by their pasts and bound by fate, they find an unexpected connection as they bond over their shared struggle for honor, purpose, and understanding. As warriors caught in a brutal world, they discover solace in each other’s presence, where fleeting moments of peace emerge in the heart of a storm.

Tags: Mydei x Reader, Romance, Character Development, Helen of Sparta based Reader (?), Complex Emotions, Unspoken Connection, Post-Battle Reflection.

Warnings: Mentions of past trauma, Mentions of war and death, Intense emotional themes, Brief violence, Some existential themes on fate and destiny.

A/N: idk much about Greek mythology so apologies 🙏

Thank you for beta-reading this @sundaysconsort!

The mists of Castrum Kremnos hung heavy in the air, their tendrils wrapping around the towering ruins of the once-great city. The sky, a turbulent blend of storm clouds and fading light, mirrored the chaos that had consumed this land. Among the shadows, Mydei stood, his gaze piercing the horizon, his body as still as the mountains he called home.

I am desperately trying to cling to the happy things I have going on.

Pride is in a couple weeks.

I have set some boundries with my parents.

I am actively growing a backbone.

But I am unable to ignore the bad things happening.

I like things to be neat and organized. I should be able to put all of the emotions and feelings in seperate boxes, only accessing each individual topic and feeling as I need.

Instead I have one ominous box in the center of a dark room, lit up with a pull string light bulb (one of those dull flickering kinds) and when I open it theres a handkerchief, that is attached to a never ending string of handkerchiefs. Pulling the first one drags out the next, and the next and the next, etc.

Everything is connected, everything affects and interacts with everything else.

*cough cough*

As y9u can guess, this is a rather c9mplex t9pic, and I ap9l9gize in advance f9r 6eing t99 l9ng-winded 9r, Alternia f9r6id, pr96lematic.

I’d like t9 first rec9gnize all f9rms 9f affecti9n whether within 9r 6ey9nd the esta6lished quadrants are entirely valid.

s9 extended as all entailed parties are enthusiastically c9nsenting and inf9rmed 9f the dynamics at play.

That 6eing said… Yes, it d9es s9metimes create a slightly awkward s9cial envir9nment.

I w9uldn’t say it’s 9vertly disc9mf9rting, and I certainly w9uld never want t9 imply that my disc9mf9rt sh9uld in any way invalidate their experiences 9r ch9ices.

H9wever, I must admit, 9n a purely pers9nal n9te, that there is a lingering c9gnitive diss9nance, a kind 9f s9cial itch, if y9u will, that 9ccurs when I witness 6ehavi9r that exists 9utside 9f the n9rmative quadrant framew9rk.

D9 I menti9n it? 96vi9usly n9t. That w9uld 6e disrespectful, impr9per, and likely relati9nship-damaging. Since the em9ti9nal and hist9rical c9nnecti9ns 6etween the Disciple and the Signless are, t9 6e h9nest, well 6ey9nd my pers9nal experience, I w9uld want t9 keep quiet 9ut 9f respect. 6ut, yes. I n9tice it.

I just... d9n't say anything. 9ut 9f respect. And 69undaries. And a general desire n9t t9 ruin what is, all things c9nsidered, a sta6le and supp9rtive dynamic.

Thank y9u f9r all9wing me the space t9 v9ice that again, n9 9ffense meant t9 any9ne, and if I’ve stepped 9ver a line, please let me kn9w. 6ut yes.I see it. I just... d9 n9t say anything.

F9r the sake 9f 69undaries and respect. Furtherm9re, there is a general desire t9 maintain what ultimately turns 9ut t9 6e a s9lid and sustaining dynamic.

What a delightful experience it is to miss someone.

You're perfectly content, minding your business, and suddenly—BAM—you remember that person exists, and now you feel like someone just punched you in the chest. It's an odd combination of longing and frustration, like, "Hey, I'm doing great. But also, where are you and why aren't you here right now?"

It's not even that they're gone and you can't handle it—oh no, no, no. You're totally fine. You're an independent person. You don't need anyone. You can live a whole life without them. But also, why does the world feel so small?

Then there's the inevitable overthinking. Oh, that wonderful mental gymnastics of wondering if they miss you too. Do they think about you when they wake up? Do they replay your conversations in their mind like you do? Like that one time they called you just to ask about your day—and you spent the next two hours replaying the conversation in your head like it was some deep, meaningful scene from a movie or book.

And don't even get me started on the memories. The mind is a treacherous place, isn't it? Suddenly, everything you did together becomes a nostalgic highlight reel. You remember the sound of their laugh, the stupid way they pronounce certain words (it was adorable, okay?)—all the little things that make you want to punch a pillow out of frustration because, really? You're missing someone because of how annoyingly charming they were? Fantastic.

Now, the real question comes: Should you text them? Is it too soon? Too late? Should you send them a meme to remind them how hilarious you are? Should you send them a message that says, "Hey, I miss you," without sounding like a total weirdo who has way too much time on their hands? Nah, we're too cool for that. You don't need validation, right? You can just carry on with your day like the grown-up kid you are. But oh wait, you're texting them anyway. Maybe a meme that you said you found while surfing the browser (when in fact, you searched for it), because memes are totally how you convey deep emotional connections. Right?

So, then, what do you do with all this missing? You do what any reasonable person would do: distract yourself with Netflix, eat something unhealthy, and repeat the cycle over and over again until your brain hurts. And yet, at the end of the day, you miss them. Not because you're a sentimental mess (okay, maybe a little bit), but because, somewhere deep down, you know life is just a tiny bit better when they're around. You've come to the conclusion that life can be full without them, but it's a little more fun when they're there to make it just a little bit chaotic.

Missing someone messes up our mind. And yet we can't help it. It's a state of being we never asked for, but it is what it is, right? Can't do anything about it.