ma eliza's expectin

your mental illness is mean and it’s a liar. You are never as horrible as you think. People love you. You are worthy

every time you sneeze you steal it from someone else. theres only ever 1 sneeze in the world

if two people sneeze at the same time they’re borrowing the sneezes from each other very quickly

It’s like that electron thing

Its exactly like that electron thing

This post came into my apartment and snapped my neck

Okay, but this hurts.

dont worry if u see a dark winged figure on ur roof. thats me. im just chillin and making sure that u and ur home are safe

My pussy is fat my heart is fatter got a tiny brain made of snickerdoodle batter

Academics keep writing books about criticism despite the clear fact that things are just good when i like them and bad when I dont

fuckin @ me next

its not my job to notify every person who kins me

As someone who’s worked in several cafes, I’m mad at how accurate this is.

I will forever remember the time my friend and I were out for chinese food. we got up to pay and I (the short one with bottom energy i guess?) revealed that I would be paying for the meal, and the elderly man at the counter just flat out said “Oh, YOU’RE the boss!”

abac (assigned bottom at chili’s)

damnnnnn 

this is by far the least upsetting dog chimera I’ve ever seen