alive alive alive

*coughs blood* youre all just jealous of my wound. yuore trying to make me get rid of it because you wish you had a wound this cool

go back to sleep puppy *holds chlorophyll over your face*

haha yay! *starts making sugars*

i love this post and always reblog it because it reminds me of a game i used to play in the bath tub as a child which was called “plant sugars” and the premise was that i was a plant organism and i had to produce starches to store in my tuber

what doesnt kill you is still valuable data points for a graph im working on titled "how to kill you"

i was speaking with a guy i work with and when leaving i said okay see you monday and he went oh no i wont be in monday. im going bald. and i said ?you're what? and he just repeated im going bald monday. wont be in

update: he didn’t show up on Monday and on Tuesday he was bald

one cool thing about catholicism is they don't actually check if youre catholic when u go to mass you can just get on your knees and have a priest put christs body in your mouth with NO verification to make sure youre not just some kind of pervert.